you're a sad love song that no one listens to

do you remember when we were together?
everyone knew that we were like salt & pepper.
different, and yet we complimented each other so well.
you would hear me out on days when I needed a friend
and I would lend a shoulder even though you acted like if you did not need it.

somewhere along the line we got caught up in different lives
and realized that we were not the couple that we thought we were.
in reality, we were like salt and sugar.
the combination works for some people, but not for us.
and we ended it then and there, a mutual agreement.

after so many years, you have returned.
and although I have forgotten you
and you are no longer part of my life in any way, shape or form...
you want things to be like they were.
you want us to be what we were.
but I don't.
I am saddened by your desperation,
and sometimes your words fool me into thinking that you have changed,
but your persistence and your obsessive mode
has pushed me further away from the idea
of keeping in touch and being friends.

I have someone else.
I am happy.
I don't want you in my life.
What other way can I explain this to you besides
"leave me alone."
"I am so over you."
"let me go."
none of those seem to get through to you.

my patience is being tested.
you being the tester.
so far I am passing with my sanity still in tact.
and I thank God that what I have now in my life is good
it is positive

you on the other hand- you are proving to be a sad love song
one I used to play and sing along to.
and now I can't even remember the name or the lyrics.
I thank you for the memories,
but that is all you are to me - a memory.
one that is becoming sour because of you.

I think it's time now.
I wish nothing but a happy life for you.
I just wish you would understand that I do not want to be part of your life.

move on.
be happy.
love life.
and please, savor the silence, because that is all that you will be getting from me.


enjoy the silence
-Cin

and then there were 5...

I am frustrated this morning. I want to blog about it, but then I don’t. So why mention it? … because its my blog and I can if I want to. =p

Ok enough with me being a brat.

So something that is going on with me is not right at the moment. A good friend of mine and I are not talking. I don’t know where she stands or how she feels. I don’t know what is going on in her head. She has not even talked to me.
I know where I stand. I know how I feel (besides confused). And I actually took the first step and reached out to her. Unfortunately, I don’t know how she felt about it because of the whole not speaking to me part.
I am trying my hardest to give my friend time. I know that that is usually what is suggested. “just give them time. they'll come around” And although I am trying… this is not who I am. I don’t like for issues to be left unsolved. I like for things to be talked out. I like for problems to be solved. Even if the solution is not the one that you prefer. It is still a solution. When I am left to “give time” it usually results in me sulking and over thinking everything. I end up frustrated. And the frustration brings out sadness and anger. So although I am giving my friend time, it is really bothering me.

So here I am. Thinking. Frustrated. Wondering. Sad. Sick (yes… I am getting another cold, apparently the last one I had that lasted 3 weeks was not enough). And for once, the silence is not a good one. I am not enjoying it one bit.
sigh so I guess I will just have to distract myself with other stuff. Like where to go for our honeymoon! Yay. Sorta. But no not really.

Enjoy the silence (or don’t)
-Cin