reflection in random train of thought

did you know that people suck? yea... they still do.

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today is the day of a significant change in my life. I am excited. I am proud. I am scared. I am confident. I am glad that I have Mr. Tortilla Face to share this with. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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my blog has been a bit negative recently. sorry mostly because there have been a lot of changes in my life recently. the biggest one is my opinion on some of my friends/acquaintances/family. the change has caused me to reorganize my priority list. It also allowed me to learn that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. my relationship with Mr. Tortilla Face is stronger than I even imagined. so although I have been a bit down because of the recent changes, I am happy that my life is moving in a direction that I have wanted in a long time. And although it might be sad that not everyone I love and care for is coming along for the ride - I can live with that.
they say you are your ten closest friends - why keep someone around that is only dragging me down? or being negative?

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I am thankful for friends though. Devina and I finally got through a huge hurdle - she got her MOH dress!!!!! which means that I can now do a lot of stuff. not that I am doing any of it, but I can do them now!!!!! Her dress is bootyful (and I'm not saying that because of her) I just really like it. its simple. its a great color. and it will make my vision come true.
She has actually been a great help in getting me out of this hole that I have been in. Friday night we shopped and dined. I was in the worst of moods on Friday and she made it all better. Even though she didn't let me buy these blue flats that were so purty.
And then Saturday, after hanging out with the soon to be mom-in-law, we went to Beverly Hills. shopped. had a great lunch. talked. compared penises. and shared our lunch. actually I made her take mine, but whatevs. same difference.

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and now the only thing I need that would make things go smoothly is seeing my nephews. I will be travelling up north (to go see them of course) and then ... only then ... will things really be turning around for me.

so until then - I am waiting patiently.
I am sitting happy that Bonds wishes me happiness.
I am leaving on Friday.
And I might do a little dance. For ol' times.

enjoy the silence
-Cin

the Muse is my muse

So I've been listening to the Muse lately. and when I say that I've been listening to them... I mean all of their CDs have been on repeat on my ipod since this past Monday. I simply love Absolution. the Muse makes me think about all sorts of things. and my creative juices start running.

last time we were in the car and Supermassive Black Hole came on, I mentioned to Mr. Tortilla Face "sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I just opened the car door while you were driving and I just held on to the door and stuck my feet out and clung onto the door as I ran." he looked at me and said "wtf are you talking about?" I was being honest though. the song put me in a mood that made me want to run, while clinging onto a car that was racing down the freeway. I wasn't going to do it, it just got me in the mood. this is what I mean by it making me think of all sorts of things.

that CD in particular, Absolution makes me want to write. or make a music video. or be a vampire. I can't explain why, but I really love that CD. its great to write when your brain wants to speak. brain farts blow. ha. I made a funny.

so I am giving them props today. thanks for the thoughts and the inspirations. these past 3 days have been productive and relaxing. and if anyone gets the chance, go check them out if you haven't done so yet.

enjoy the silence
-Cin