over rated

there are so many things in life that are freakin' over rated.
like working for the sake of having a paycheck. you work and work and work. and bust your ass to get through the day and the week. just so that you can get a paycheck and pay your bills. you should work because you enjoy your job. you should work because not only does it help you pay your bills, but it also helps you become an accomplished person that contributes to society. if you work for a paycheck, you are most likely miserable. unless you're nonchalant, and nothing really matters or bothers you.
worthless acquaintances are also over rated. like I stated in another blog - not all acquaintances are friends, but sometimes they pretend to be. it becomes confusing. fuck the formalities. why can't people just be up front. if I am here to work and you happen to be here for the same reason - why can't we just be that? two people that work together. why do we have to pretend to like each other when we really do not care? and also, if we happen to have a mutual friend - we are NOT forced to be friends. there is no hidden rule that says that we all have to hang out and become bffs. a cordial hello. and an occasional hang out session is enough. stop with the pretending that you like me because of our mutual friend. it's OK if we do not get along.
anniversaries are also over rated. you go through a lot in a year. not necessarily bad memories, but just a lot. why does it have to be boiled down to one day? one day of remembering what... that you made it through another year? how depressing is that. the pressure of buying gifts for each other is ridiculous. getting upset because after 425.3 years you have ran out of ideas on gifts is ridiculous. just treat an anniversary as another day and as a great excuse to take time off from work. the love you two have for each other should be spread throughout every day that you spend together. not just on anniversaries.

having said that - I am off next week. I need a vacation from so much over rated and unnecessary bullcrap.
enjoy the silence people. I will.

Cin

weekend summary

good morning to you all.
actually, I am quite bitter today and there was nothing good about this morning. So as rude as it may sound, I hope no one was able to sleep well last night. and if you did - I envy you, truly.
last night I had to share my sleeping time with somebody that snores. this person snores very loudly. I usually have a plan when this happens. I try to fall asleep before they do so that I can avoid hearing them snore. Last night I was tired and I knocked out before they did - plan worked. Then at 4 in the morning I was awoken to loud snoring in my face. Somehow they had invaded my space and had decided that my ear was a great place to snore into. I shoved and poked and moved. All I got was them moving slightly over. finally around 4:45am I fell back asleep. this ruined my Sunday night sleep. And my Monday morning wake-up routine. I usually get up at 5:45am to get ready for work, today I woke up at 7:00am. needless to say I was and am tired.
that was how my weekend ended.
As for it starting - I went to go check out the Stepbrothers. This movie started out with such a bang that I was laughing my ass off. part after part I could not stop laughing. And then... it just slowed down. I caught myself checking the time, trying to calculate how long the movie was and how much longer I had to sit there. Every now and then some funny parts would come in. I admit that it ended well, but somewhere in the middle I got bored.
I had some stuff on my mind that I wanted to write about this weekend, but right now - I am exhausted. My mind is not in it's right state. I have to get my mind working because Comet has his training class tonight and I need to make sure that I am the pack leader - not him. If I allow him, he will run me over. Do you know how tiresome it is sitting with a 50+lbs Golden Retriever adolescent that wants to sniff everyone and anything and can pull you without trying? Plus he thinks he is a puppy still and wants to be treated as one. time for some major caffeine.

enjoy the silence.

Cin

double-u, tee, eff

today was supposed to be a good day. f*ck him for ruining it so early in the morning. It isn't even 9 in the morning and he has managed to be an asshole already. Good job! thumbs up to ya. I was not aware that my job required me to be an accountant, assistant and a baby-sitter. I should get paid extra for that last one.
I refuse to allow him to ruin my day. inhale... exhale. I am going to do my work to my best ability as I always do. I will leave him be with his sissy fits. maybe aunt flow came to visit him...
a big fu to him.

today he needs to practice and enjoy the silence

-Cin

shitty attitude...

this is what I have today. I've had it since yesterday actually. I cannot quite put my finger on it, but something has triggered a shitty attitude within me. and whatever that something is or was, the attitude has lingered on until today. And no it is not aunt flow making her monthly visit that has me bothered. Not even close
Man, why do people suck???
This kind of attitude, the shitty one, is the one that I hate the most. It bothers me because I can never figure out what pissed me off so much that I cannot get over it. As hard as I try, I can never remember what it was that set me off to begin with. Maybe it wasn't even a big deal. Maybe it was just a look someone gave me. Maybe it was a big deal and I should address it. I guess I will never know because the only thing I do remember is that it (whatever it is), put me in a bad mood and I can't shake it off.

let me help you understand my shitty mood the best way I can:
today is the day where you wake up on time, ready to face the day ahead of you. only to find out that you ran out of shampoo... while you are in the shower. And of course, you haven't gone to the store lately so you don't have a spare one. you make the best of it and use soap, making a mental note that you must stop to get shampoo. there really is no need to be negative so early in the morning. it's a quick fix.
you get dressed. head out with enough time to make it to work... only to realize that you have no gas. And now you have to stop at the gas station, which means you will be late to work. It's ok really, still not mad. You will simply call and let your boss know. You're hardly ever late, he will understand.
Finally, you rush into work and you settle in and go about your daily routine. When of course, today would be that day when your boss needs you to research this, call here, print that - he is super busy and somehow he has finally decided that you are adequate enough to assist him. This in turn puts you behind in your own workload. The constant little projects he is giving you with deadlines are starting to get under your skin. Will he ever do any of his own work? You complete everything, quietly, but secretly cursing him out. You just want the day to end. You don't even bother complaining.
Finally, after a long day at work - no lunch - you head back on the highway and sit in traffic. Yes, the day can get worse.
Home sweet home. all you want to do is rest, but yes, this is too much to ask for. your loved one wants to tell you all about their day. On a regular day this would not be a problem, but today... today you wish you had some strong duct tape. That optimistic person that woke up this morning is no longer in sight. All you contribute to the conversation is on the negative end. Irritation and sarcasm is oozing out of each sentence that you blurt out. Can it be any more obvious? And even when your loved one genuinely asks what is wrong... you turn the tables. Somehow it's their fault. No if's and but's about it. Finally they've had enough and let you know that "god, you're in a shitty mood today." DING! DING! DING! they are correct. But instead of winning a prize, they win more attitude.
Time for bed. This wretched day is over. Nothing else can possibly go wrong. And nothing does. but as you lay in bed something deep inside of you keeps flashing red. What can it be? Why is your mind unsettled? Why does it feel as if though you forgot something? What can it possibly be? ..... then it hits you. damn that shampoo. you forgot all about it. hopefully there's still soap.

and this ladies and gents, is how I have been feeling since yesterday. things keep piling up only to worsen my mood. and I am sure that I have taken it out on a few here and there. sorry if this applies to you. Jeremy, I know he's one of them. his patience still amazes me. so what can I do? c'est la vie. maybe this post helped me out. and if not... there will always be tomorrow.

enjoy the silence.

Cin

weekend summary

so I am a day behind. talk about trying to get up on a Monday morning. It's just in the morning when I am supposed to be getting up that its hard. Once my eyes are open and I am off my bed - I am ready to go. I would like to meet that one person that can get up on a Monday early AM, without a problem, getting ready for work or school. You will not find me to be that person! I was running behind yesterday. Or at least it seems that I was because I kept feeling like if the day had gone by so quickly and I still needed more time to finish what was in front of me.

So what was my weekend like? Relaxing, but with plenty to do. I did not have to stress out too much with what I had to do, but it did keep me busy. Saturday - breakfast with the ladies, cleaning my room, BBQ. Sunday - soccer game. I had some pictures to post up, but I uploaded them on my laptop at home so this post will have to do without. I do have pictures of us at the soccer game.

This was on Sunday at the game. El Salvador vs Guatemala. The game ended tied, but it was actually a good game. In case you haven't noticed - we were on the Salvie side. And damn proud to be a Guanaca. And I am not saying this because we are Salvies, but they played a better game. They managed the ball well. Did some good set ups. They just could not complete the play with a goal. Which is obviously what they needed to do in order to win the game. Guatemala on the other hand, looked sloppy. I don't know if they were really missing Carlos Ruiz, or if that is how they always play. I do know that if they play the way they did on Sunday versus the US - they are going to face the wrath of 8 goals like the Barbados team recently did.

I did have fun this Sunday being amongst so many Central Americans. The guys behind us are up there with some of the best shit talkers. I don't think I've heard "hijo de puta" (son of a bitch) as much as I heard it on Sunday. And trust me...my mom has a potty mouth, but she had nothing on these guys. They sang the anthem loud and proud, poked fun at the Guate fans, and threatened to throw cups with piss in them at any one of the Guate fans that gave them shit. Really, what is the fascination with pissing in a cup and throwing it into a crowd? Especially if your aim is horrible and you end up hitting the wrong person. Even with all of the mysterious fluids flying, I did not really see any fights. They did get into each other's faces and there was a lot of shit talking, but overall it wasn't violent.

Through the "culero" chants and the "hijo de putas" and "cerotes" being thrown around, I caught myself listening to the way they interacted with each other. At home, only my mom was born in El Salvador. And after many years of living here in the US and now being a citizen, her accent only comes out when she is around the rest of the family. For those of you who do not know - different Hispanics have different accents. They use different words and express themselves differently. Even the tone is different. I love their accent. I had a blast just listening to the simple sentences they composed. Even if it was one where they made fun of the indian dialect that Guatemalans use. I wanted to be part of it, but feared that my Spanish would not be Salvadorean enough. I think I am going to start practicing my Spanish. My goal is to sound at least a little bit like them. I mean the blood inside of me is Salvie, why can't the accent?

I'm glad we went to the game. It was a lot of fun. Even Jeremy (whom by the way was nationalized by some Salvadoreans with their flags), had fun. He said he had never seen so many flags in one place! He enjoyed the patriotism. It's nice to enjoy the culture even if it was only for 2 hours. The only thing I wonder is what happened to the giant Guatemalan flag that was sent into the crowd? Hopefully no one ripped it into toilet paper like I heard so many threaten they would if the flag came their way.

enjoy the silence all

-Cin

scars and bruises

I have to admit that I am feeling much much better now that my gallstones are out. Sleep has come back to me. I have also joined forces with this thing called productivity. There is so much that I am getting done now at work and at home since I am no longer tired and in pain. Talk about relief.

I went this week to what was supposed to be my last appointment with the doctor. She was only going to clean out my incisions and put new bandages on. I had mentioned to her that my cuts were really itching and that I thought my belly button smelled. Yes, I thought I had a smelly belly... button that is. She laid me out, checked me out, and let me know some things that I thought were hilarious and scary all at once.

For one, I am allergic to adhesive tape. My skin reacted

against the tape and created small blisters and a rash underneath the steri-strips. This is why it was itching so much. Out of the 4 incisions, 2 are healing as planned. 1 of them is still... open. The irritation from the rash did not allow it to close. As you can see, it looks like a hole with bumps all around it. Pretty grose.

My belly button does not look as bad because I had taken the bandages off after the 1st week. But there is still irritation around it because some adhesive was left on the surrounding area. I seem to have a true "innie" which means that each time I showered, water would collect there. And although I would dry it, I would not be able to get all of the water out. This did not help the healing process because the area would be constantly moist.

So now I get to take care of all of my incisions and rashes and innie problems on my own. I have an ointment for my rash. Neosporin for my belly button. And I have to make sure that I do NOT put any kind of band-aid or anything with adhesive on it. This is the funny part for me. I have never heard of anyone being allergic to tape. Talk about sensitive skin. The scary part comes right after.. it will now take longer to heal. First the rash, then the hole. I hope it closes up. I do not want it to heal like if I had a crater on my stomach/side.

Another interesting fact I learned this trip to my doctor is what people do with their gallstones. I've had a few people ask me if I had seen the stones. I could not even imagine wanting to see them. What for? Only purpose would be to give them the finger and give them my thanks for the pain. Apparently, there are people out there that really put these suckers to good use. Some people keep them in jars. Some people make them into jewelry. Yes, I said jewelry. When the doctor mentioned this to me I could not believe it. Why would anyone want to do that? So I googled it and here is what I found --

they come in different colors. the ones pictured above are made from cholesterol. notice the size compared to the quarter. the color looks like Jade so I guess I can see why they would turn this into a necklace...

yes, these are all gallstones. and yes someone out there is wearing this. Not me. Even after researching all of this - I still cannot imagine requesting to see these. I am just glad that they are out.

Well enough on gallstones. I hope that what was given to me can finally cure my cuts and bruises and scars and rashes. And if not, I can always go to the extreme of scraping my belly button out even if it hurts a little bit.

for now, enjoy the silence.

Cin