I used to really love Halloween. And then I met Mr. Tortilla Face... and it all went to hell. now I am quite cynical about it just like I am about most holidays.
but this year... I wanted it to be different. I wanted to go out and enjoy myself like the previous years. I had ideas. so many of them.
and then I came to work... after 9 hours of this, I need an energy boost. man I am getting old. all I feel like doing is going home and napping!
to those out there that still have the will, and the money, and the energy to enjoy the day - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! have fun on my behalf. trick or treat for me. be a naughty nurse for me!
on another note - some people make me wonder. I wish that they were more sincere. wouldn't it be a nicer place to live in if people were just upfront? then I wouldn't have to sit here and wonder. instead people play games. they decide to keep things from others with the excuse of not wanting to hurt their feelings.
I refuse to elaborate on this. I don't want to rant today. and I don't want to ruin any one's mood. so carry on with the trick and treating.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
pretty much.. shut up
anyone that knows me pretty much knows that I have a strong opinion about things. and if you give me a chance, I will express it. if you ask for an explanation, I will give it to you. fully. I tell my stories with more words than needed so that you have the best image of it running through your head.
having said that... lately, I have cringed at the thought of having to start a conversation with others about the coming election. I try to avoid conversations in which I am going to be asked who and what I am voting on. I would rather vomit.
I follow the news for the most part. I try to keep up with politics, at least what appeals to me. I do my research so that I can have my own opinion and not sound like a complete ass when I engage in a conversation related to what is current in the world of politics. but lately, it seems to be that EVERYONE has an opinion. now please, do not get me wrong on this I think it's great that people have their own opinions and want to express them. Its great that a lot of people are willing to talk about this election. I love conversations. that is .... conversations with substance. So of course, being a natural conversationalist, I start asking questions so that I can figure out why they have certain opinions.
this is where it gets sad. and annoying. and oh so irritating.
I get a big d'oh from most of them. I have found that a lot of people are influenced by the television and by their peers on what to think and how to vote in this election. this is all ok. I understand that sometimes the television is the only source out there for some people in finding out what is going on outside of their daily life. I get that sometimes you only find out about current events if others relay this information to you. I do not see a problem with this. but I do have a problem when they base their opinion on this solely.
through some of the conversations that I have chosen to be part of, I have noticed that most people do not really understand what is going on with some of the propositions, or how the candidates feel about certain issues. they are simply taking in what the mighty television set tells them, and are not really taking the time to educate themselves. they have become a mass group of repeaters. everything they hear, they repeat. but when asked to elaborate, they are stumped. they either rant at me irrationally and try to shove their ideas and choices at me simply because. or they pretend something else has suddenly become much more interesting to talk about. and that just irritates me. how am I supposed to have a conversation with a robot?
this mass of repeaters has caused great disappointment in my eyes. this, like all elections, is so important. people should really take the time to educate themselves when making their decisions. and not just go along with the flow.
since I do not have any control over people and the way they act, I have chosen to savor silence, love it. cherish it. enjoy it. relish in it. (my ipod has come in quite handy lately) I have learned to nod. smile. and pretty much not say anything about what I think unless I see that the conversation is heading on the right path. (you know, the one that does not cross bullshit lane or ignorant ave).
so lately, when people come up to me and start the conversation with "you better vote for Obama!" or when they ask "you're voting on Prop 8 right?" I tend to throw up in mouth just a little bit. I hesitate in telling people what I am voting on. I do not shove it down their throats. Instead, I am more prone to give people information on websites on how they can educate themselves on the propositions. I encourage them to get out there and simply vote. That is what is important.
so folks. educate yourselves. vote. and please do not insert foot in mouth when carrying a conversation regarding this coming election. and if you do not have any power over this, converse with someone else.
for now, I shall, enjoy the silence -
Cin
having said that... lately, I have cringed at the thought of having to start a conversation with others about the coming election. I try to avoid conversations in which I am going to be asked who and what I am voting on. I would rather vomit.
I follow the news for the most part. I try to keep up with politics, at least what appeals to me. I do my research so that I can have my own opinion and not sound like a complete ass when I engage in a conversation related to what is current in the world of politics. but lately, it seems to be that EVERYONE has an opinion. now please, do not get me wrong on this I think it's great that people have their own opinions and want to express them. Its great that a lot of people are willing to talk about this election. I love conversations. that is .... conversations with substance. So of course, being a natural conversationalist, I start asking questions so that I can figure out why they have certain opinions.
this is where it gets sad. and annoying. and oh so irritating.
I get a big d'oh from most of them. I have found that a lot of people are influenced by the television and by their peers on what to think and how to vote in this election. this is all ok. I understand that sometimes the television is the only source out there for some people in finding out what is going on outside of their daily life. I get that sometimes you only find out about current events if others relay this information to you. I do not see a problem with this. but I do have a problem when they base their opinion on this solely.
through some of the conversations that I have chosen to be part of, I have noticed that most people do not really understand what is going on with some of the propositions, or how the candidates feel about certain issues. they are simply taking in what the mighty television set tells them, and are not really taking the time to educate themselves. they have become a mass group of repeaters. everything they hear, they repeat. but when asked to elaborate, they are stumped. they either rant at me irrationally and try to shove their ideas and choices at me simply because. or they pretend something else has suddenly become much more interesting to talk about. and that just irritates me. how am I supposed to have a conversation with a robot?
this mass of repeaters has caused great disappointment in my eyes. this, like all elections, is so important. people should really take the time to educate themselves when making their decisions. and not just go along with the flow.
since I do not have any control over people and the way they act, I have chosen to savor silence, love it. cherish it. enjoy it. relish in it. (my ipod has come in quite handy lately) I have learned to nod. smile. and pretty much not say anything about what I think unless I see that the conversation is heading on the right path. (you know, the one that does not cross bullshit lane or ignorant ave).
so lately, when people come up to me and start the conversation with "you better vote for Obama!" or when they ask "you're voting on Prop 8 right?" I tend to throw up in mouth just a little bit. I hesitate in telling people what I am voting on. I do not shove it down their throats. Instead, I am more prone to give people information on websites on how they can educate themselves on the propositions. I encourage them to get out there and simply vote. That is what is important.
so folks. educate yourselves. vote. and please do not insert foot in mouth when carrying a conversation regarding this coming election. and if you do not have any power over this, converse with someone else.
for now, I shall, enjoy the silence -
Cin
Friday, October 24, 2008
hello weekend
I missed you so much.
I think I am catching a cold. Maybe I just need rest. Sunday I slept late - which meant that my body got used to late sleeping - which meant that each night this week I have slept late, and gotten up in a hurry. Can you tell by now that I am a woman that always has a battle with sleep! I just need one night of some GOOOD sleep and I should be ok. if that does not help then that means that I just might get a cold. orange juice.
on to other things...
I know that I am an emotional person. I know that I think and react with my heart first before reason. As the years have passed by, I have learned to stop myself from reacting automatically and think things through. I react now with my heart and my mind. I know that I have improved on that part.
BUT (there is always a but)
sometimes, I just react like a girl normally would. my feelings get hurt. I question myself. I sulk. I can't say that I do not like this part about me as it is part of being a girl. I just hate feeling down. I am one that fully commits, so when something bothers me... it really bothers me. It usually takes a bit to distract me and to get me out of that hole. These are usually the moments that I decide to blog - when I am angry, upset, down, stressed. I cannot pretend my life is peachy 24.7. And I don't need to blog about all of the great things that do take place in my life because it would seem too plastic. So please do not think that I am gloomy, and depressing, and crying, and angry 100% of the time. I do think that it is good to get hurt sometimes. SOMETIMES!!!! I think those moments make you stronger. They open your eyes and make you realize that the sky is not always blue and the grass is not always green.
so for the days when I am down - thank you. You give me great writing material. And for the days when I am happy - thank you. they help me get through the hard days.
and now back to the weekend. I've missed you so.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
I think I am catching a cold. Maybe I just need rest. Sunday I slept late - which meant that my body got used to late sleeping - which meant that each night this week I have slept late, and gotten up in a hurry. Can you tell by now that I am a woman that always has a battle with sleep! I just need one night of some GOOOD sleep and I should be ok. if that does not help then that means that I just might get a cold. orange juice.
on to other things...
I know that I am an emotional person. I know that I think and react with my heart first before reason. As the years have passed by, I have learned to stop myself from reacting automatically and think things through. I react now with my heart and my mind. I know that I have improved on that part.
BUT (there is always a but)
sometimes, I just react like a girl normally would. my feelings get hurt. I question myself. I sulk. I can't say that I do not like this part about me as it is part of being a girl. I just hate feeling down. I am one that fully commits, so when something bothers me... it really bothers me. It usually takes a bit to distract me and to get me out of that hole. These are usually the moments that I decide to blog - when I am angry, upset, down, stressed. I cannot pretend my life is peachy 24.7. And I don't need to blog about all of the great things that do take place in my life because it would seem too plastic. So please do not think that I am gloomy, and depressing, and crying, and angry 100% of the time. I do think that it is good to get hurt sometimes. SOMETIMES!!!! I think those moments make you stronger. They open your eyes and make you realize that the sky is not always blue and the grass is not always green.
so for the days when I am down - thank you. You give me great writing material. And for the days when I am happy - thank you. they help me get through the hard days.
and now back to the weekend. I've missed you so.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
cat and mouse
ok so... to be fair... I know that I have been out of the dating game for a while now.
BUT
why do people (both male and female) insist on trying to follow the dating rules which were invented who knows how long ago by who knows who? why is it so hard to just be who you are and be upfront so that both know what they are getting themselves into from day one? I understand that at first people are apprehensive and have their guard up because they are at the "getting to know each other" phase, but sometimes people go a bit overboard with the rules. You have to wait 3 days before calling so that you do not seem so desperate. I don't know about you... but if a guy is really that attracted to me that he wants to call me the following day... he already won some brownie points in my book. The faster this guy calls me, the faster I can find out if he deserves those brownie points or not. instead many girls get excited that someone showed interest and asked for their number. and when he waits to call, the girl decides to sit and wait and try to remember all that was said the day they met. what were the last things said? why has it been so long? were they too eager to give out he number? and if the guy has called already and a couple of conversations have already been shared, the girl worries to death as to why he hasn't called all weekend? they try to figure out and come up with excuses as to why he was calling constantly before and now he just stopped! and they refuse to call or text because that would break one of the golden rules in which a girl should not be the one to look for the guy. he should come looking for her. bologna. I do not think this is true in all cases. like everything in life, there are exceptions! but this is part of the game that people play when dating. so unnecessary!
now do not get me wrong, I am a bit traditional in certain areas. I do believe that there are certain things that a guy, or should I say a gentleman, should do if he is interested. He should be the first to initiate a date. he should ask for your number. he should come pick you up. he should be the one to initiate a lot of things, but a girl should also show interest.
The modern Cin inside of me does not think that you should have to wait by the phone or the computer to see when he will make contact again. If you really want to know what he did for the weekend, initiate conversation. Too shy to say it over the phone? Too much of a rambler to type it up in an email? Make it short, sweet, and simple through a text. Hey! How was your weekend? instead, we end up questioning everything including ourselves. I know, this is part of being a girl. But come on now are we not the ones that claim to be so modern and independent nowadays??? why do we allow to get stuck in this game and web of rules? why are we still hesitant to go for what or who we want? I am not saying to go out and become a princess warrior; slaying all other females that get in your way of you and your man. and I am definitely NOT saying to become Miss Clingy of the year and text/call/email constantly.
I am just saying be yourself. Let him fall in love with you. Be a rebel without a cause and stop following those rules religiously. Just be a person that is interested in another person. Allow yourself to find a friend first before a lover. That is how you find Mr. Right (in my opinion). Now if you are lookin for Mr. Tonight/Booty Call/ Quick Fix disregard this post completely. This does NOT apply to you.
Maybe its easier said than done since I have not dated in a while. I just find a lot of the modern rules to be too traditional. You have to find the middle ground in order for it to be just right.
having said all of that, I sure am glad I have tortilla face. the Cin of today would probably be driven to pure madness if I had to go back to dating.
BUT
why do people (both male and female) insist on trying to follow the dating rules which were invented who knows how long ago by who knows who? why is it so hard to just be who you are and be upfront so that both know what they are getting themselves into from day one? I understand that at first people are apprehensive and have their guard up because they are at the "getting to know each other" phase, but sometimes people go a bit overboard with the rules. You have to wait 3 days before calling so that you do not seem so desperate. I don't know about you... but if a guy is really that attracted to me that he wants to call me the following day... he already won some brownie points in my book. The faster this guy calls me, the faster I can find out if he deserves those brownie points or not. instead many girls get excited that someone showed interest and asked for their number. and when he waits to call, the girl decides to sit and wait and try to remember all that was said the day they met. what were the last things said? why has it been so long? were they too eager to give out he number? and if the guy has called already and a couple of conversations have already been shared, the girl worries to death as to why he hasn't called all weekend? they try to figure out and come up with excuses as to why he was calling constantly before and now he just stopped! and they refuse to call or text because that would break one of the golden rules in which a girl should not be the one to look for the guy. he should come looking for her. bologna. I do not think this is true in all cases. like everything in life, there are exceptions! but this is part of the game that people play when dating. so unnecessary!
now do not get me wrong, I am a bit traditional in certain areas. I do believe that there are certain things that a guy, or should I say a gentleman, should do if he is interested. He should be the first to initiate a date. he should ask for your number. he should come pick you up. he should be the one to initiate a lot of things, but a girl should also show interest.
The modern Cin inside of me does not think that you should have to wait by the phone or the computer to see when he will make contact again. If you really want to know what he did for the weekend, initiate conversation. Too shy to say it over the phone? Too much of a rambler to type it up in an email? Make it short, sweet, and simple through a text. Hey! How was your weekend? instead, we end up questioning everything including ourselves. I know, this is part of being a girl. But come on now are we not the ones that claim to be so modern and independent nowadays??? why do we allow to get stuck in this game and web of rules? why are we still hesitant to go for what or who we want? I am not saying to go out and become a princess warrior; slaying all other females that get in your way of you and your man. and I am definitely NOT saying to become Miss Clingy of the year and text/call/email constantly.
I am just saying be yourself. Let him fall in love with you. Be a rebel without a cause and stop following those rules religiously. Just be a person that is interested in another person. Allow yourself to find a friend first before a lover. That is how you find Mr. Right (in my opinion). Now if you are lookin for Mr. Tonight/Booty Call/ Quick Fix disregard this post completely. This does NOT apply to you.
Maybe its easier said than done since I have not dated in a while. I just find a lot of the modern rules to be too traditional. You have to find the middle ground in order for it to be just right.
having said all of that, I sure am glad I have tortilla face. the Cin of today would probably be driven to pure madness if I had to go back to dating.
.Disney.
.spooky. 
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Monday, October 20, 2008
here I am again on my own
my brain looks like putty today. how do I know this? because my hairline told me so.
apparently I am old now. I stay out past midnight and wake up the following day at 6am... and it feels as if though my body has been stepped on by a sumo wrestler. and my brain is just as smashed and worthless. and of course, I have the bright idea of going out and staying out late on a Sunday night... so here it is Monday. Cin with a worthless brain and a worn out body.
at least yesterday was fun. Disneyland. you can never go wrong with Disney. and tortilla face of course. you mix those two together and its heaven =)
am I really getting that old?
yes, I am definitely having a moment. I used to be able to do all of this and some. Last weekend I went out with the girls, I got home past 3am. Woke up the next day around 8am. Did some flower girl's shopping (not my wedding, my sister's). Walked around with 3 little girls... that talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. Came home to do... actually I forgot what I did. But the thing is I was in bed by 9pm. Sleeping by 10ish. My body was slightly upset that I had deprived it of its resting time. And now yesterday I do this again. so here I am again.. lagging.
I think my body is definitely used to its usual routine of my Monday-Friday. Work. Gym. Home. Shower. Sleep. When I throw something in there that throws off the routine.. my body goes on strike. I tell myself that its not age. Its just the wheels that make my day go round and round. Those wheels do not enjoy an occasional wrench being thrown in there. They like the consistency. Age has nothing to do with it. (or at least that is what I tell myself).
well whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore. I just have to get going. stop yawning. and get through the day. If I can make it through work, the rest of the day will be fine.
I have to get used to the occasional wrench disrupting my routine, because I recently looked at my calendar and realized that I have some VERY busy weekends coming up, especially in November... and December. so the young girl in me better wake up and help me out here or else I will have to resort to a case of Monsters.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
apparently I am old now. I stay out past midnight and wake up the following day at 6am... and it feels as if though my body has been stepped on by a sumo wrestler. and my brain is just as smashed and worthless. and of course, I have the bright idea of going out and staying out late on a Sunday night... so here it is Monday. Cin with a worthless brain and a worn out body.
at least yesterday was fun. Disneyland. you can never go wrong with Disney. and tortilla face of course. you mix those two together and its heaven =)
am I really getting that old?
yes, I am definitely having a moment. I used to be able to do all of this and some. Last weekend I went out with the girls, I got home past 3am. Woke up the next day around 8am. Did some flower girl's shopping (not my wedding, my sister's). Walked around with 3 little girls... that talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. Came home to do... actually I forgot what I did. But the thing is I was in bed by 9pm. Sleeping by 10ish. My body was slightly upset that I had deprived it of its resting time. And now yesterday I do this again. so here I am again.. lagging.
I think my body is definitely used to its usual routine of my Monday-Friday. Work. Gym. Home. Shower. Sleep. When I throw something in there that throws off the routine.. my body goes on strike. I tell myself that its not age. Its just the wheels that make my day go round and round. Those wheels do not enjoy an occasional wrench being thrown in there. They like the consistency. Age has nothing to do with it. (or at least that is what I tell myself).
well whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore. I just have to get going. stop yawning. and get through the day. If I can make it through work, the rest of the day will be fine.
I have to get used to the occasional wrench disrupting my routine, because I recently looked at my calendar and realized that I have some VERY busy weekends coming up, especially in November... and December. so the young girl in me better wake up and help me out here or else I will have to resort to a case of Monsters.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Thursday, October 16, 2008
TAG! you are so it.
I have been tagged by the one and only Confessions of a Shop Girl !
Here are the Rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is UP.
******************************************************
1. I am totally fascinated with serial killers, mental folk, vampires (not sure if they exist, but sometimes they do in my mind). I am not necessarily fascinated with the act itself, the truth of the matter is that all of the gore and blood grosses me out. I am more interested in their mental state. What would drive them to do what they do? This is the part of me that likes to pick things (mostly minds) apart.
2. I love to dip my McDonald fries in my McFlurry. It grosses the hell outta my sister, but I love it.
3. Sometimes I feel like the middle child although there are 4 of us and I am number 2 in line. I definitely resent this. I still love my family above all even though there is some angst there.
4. I CANNOT stand most people. If I just met you, I give you a chance. But if you mess up once... you can pretty much count me out. My tolerance level has gone way down because I have ran across some really stupid people. and yes, I know that it is unfair to stereotype and group all. But I think my friend meter is full, and I don't care much for giving people many chances. Now if you were to blow me away (not literally), then how can I possibly say no?
5. I believe in God. I have faith. I just do not believe in what the church has turned into now. This includes all churches. This does not mean that I think religion is bad. I just do not like what the organization part of hte church itself has done to it. I usually keep this to myself because I know that it is a touchy subject. I do not feel like arguing about this with others as we are all entitled to live how we want, plus I hate losing arguments... so we might either argue forever. hate each other. or the argument might end in blood shed. (see number 1 above, as this is where I would most likely get ideas from)
6. I have heard by many recently that it seems that I argue a lot with tortilla face. I promise you that this is not the case. our personalities just make it seem that way. we come across as smart asses, shit talkers, with lack of emotion. when in reality, my heart skips a beat when I see him. we get along extremely well and if we do argue, we solve it then and there. or at least he solves it, because I'm never wrong =)
******************************************************
and now it's my turn to tag, randomly:
enjoy the silence
-Cin
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