2008 is almost over. wow. what has come out of this year? what did I spend all 365 days doing?
friends have come and gone.
one of the most significant ones was a new friend, whom happened to be a mutual friend with one of my closest friends. just as quickly as we met and bonded... the friendship broke apart. this was actually a sad one because of the mutual friend we shared. they are not on speaking terms as well. this was a sad loss in the beginning - now I face it without a doubt in my head. I had mixed feelings and even questioned some of my actions because of other's words or reactions, but not anymore. I stand by what I did. things ended the way they should have. if our mutual friend chooses to befriend this person, I am stepping away from that circle. It is not something I want to be part of or that I need in my life. I do not like people that constantly play the victim just for the sake of attention.
I have also bonded a great deal with other friends. its like they say, when one door closes another one opens. I have had more time to allow myself to involve myself with other people that have always been close to me. And to maintain some of the great friendships I already had.
I found out this year that some of these friends are like family members. How could I not include them in my day to day function and my family events?
weddings and new beginnings.
my younger sister is now someones wife. she was proposed to earlier this year and was married by the end of the year. I miss her. we have become close over the past years, and it is sad to lose her even though she lives so close. one regret of her wedding, I did not get to give my MOH speech. I really wanted to let her know how much I love her.
2009 will be my year to become a wife, although sometimes it already feels that I am already playing that role. I have not been able to plan much because of my sister's wedding, but starting 2009... the planning begins. After that will come babies. holy crap. that is a blog on its own.
new family.
family has always been there for me. I consider myself lucky. every now and then I meet a new cousin or rekindle a long lost friendship with an old family member. this year has been no different - drama. novelas. pointless crap. family is great. but man oh man sometimes they are a nuisance. this year I learned that even the one close to you are the ones you cannot trust. I also learned that I might love a family member because of the same blood that runs within our veins, but I do not have to like the person that they are or have become.
I lost a family member. My dear Chiquis, but gained two new ones along the way.
its amore.
I have nothing to say about this and everything to say. Mr. Tortilla Face is my huero. flaco. pelon. he loves me. I know this. and I love him. that is all there is to it. and next year we will have a hell of a ride. I am looking forward to it! you would figure that after being together for so long we would get tired of each other or something - but that is not the case. he is definitely my other half.
dreams.
ah this year has been full of inspiration. and from inspiration has grown a lot of creativity and a lot of new ideas.
I have started to make one of my hobbies into a reality and so far I am excited. I really do not know where any of this may lead me. It may lead nowhere, but at least I know that I went for it. that on its own is a great accomplishment.
career.
I have learned this year that I am a great accountant. I know that I am. I know that I carry a lot of responsibilities on my shoulder and that if someone else was in my position, they would not carry them through as thoroughly as I do.
I have started asking myself if an accountant is the way to go for me. I still do not have an answer, but I know that as long as I am happy... I will continue on this path. Even if my hobby becomes a reality, I think that I would still want to be an accountant. It is something that I enjoy doing. (yes, even on the days when things are horrible at work and all I want to do is run out of the office and choke someone)
health.
this year I lost my gall bladder. pain. fear. sigh of relief. this started me on the path to become healthy. so far I have accomplished a lot with certain changes, but I have big dreams. which means that I want more out of all of this. so the gym is still included. as well as my new way of life.
resolutions...
I really do not have any. I just want to stick to what I have already been doing. so far it has been a good one. I find it pointless to make new resolutions that I probably will not follow, or that I might make unreachable and will never get to following. So instead, I will just strive to become a better person in all ways possible. so here is to 2009. I will become Mrs. Tortilla Face. I will become a mother. I will become a bridezilla. I will become a healthier person. I will become a better friend. I will become a better Cin.
so enjoy the new year. be safe. and party like smart rock stars.
enjoy the silence.
Cin
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
movies and dogs oh and holidays too
I went to see Marley and Me with a real good friend this weekend. the movie was actually.. good. but a bit too close to home. it reminded me of Chiquis too much. still it was really worth the movie. and the time.
which then leads me to my baby Comet. Comet and his brother Rocket are best of friends... at least until another dog strolls in our alley or starts barking two houses away. they do not have a problem socializing with other dogs. Comet loves to run and chase balls and play with other dogs whether small or big. nothing really intimidates him. Rocket on the other hand is shy. lovable. and other dogs do not really interest him. when they are in the backyard they play with each other without a problem. they even lay together in the sun. as soon as they hear a dog bark outside of our house or walks by... they start to bark. and then it seems as if though they are barking and growling against each other. eventually they face each other and start to go at it. retrievers are not aggressive dogs, but I would not like to be on the receiving end when they are exposing their teeth and snarling.
well all of this aggression has come down to Rocket biting Comet because of an alley dog making an appearance. and Rocket has left Comet a gaping hole on his shoulder blade. Needless to say they have been separated. They go to the gate that separates them and lick each other as if though they miss each other's company.
As for the hole, Comet seemed to be ok.... until last night. We were cleaning it and giving him medicine, but last night when we went to feed him we noticed a lump above the cut. He would not allow us to touch it. So now he is at the hospital. The cut became infected. It created a huge knot/ball on his shoulder blade and it needs to be drained. Then it needs to be cleaned. Then it needs to be closed up to avoid further infection. $133 dollars later... I hope he gets better. I don't want Comet to be hospitalized for New Years. That would just be too depressing.
and now the holidays. yay! they are done with. Well at least Christmas is.
Overall, it was a good year. I got my earrings, my coat, my game, and socks, scarves, gloves. =) no Edward Cullen though. maybe for my birthday! Still, the time spent with the family was nice. And the time spent with Mr Tortilla Face was too limited. Things have been good.
I have been so exhausted lately because everything that has been going on. I just need a break now. Even work has been keeping me busy. Things are good though. I feel very productive and happy with the results.
Now I have a new project to tackle. My birthday first. Then a new year. I think I will post one more blog before the year ends. Maybe just as a review. It is always good to go back and remember, whether the memories are good or bad.
enjoy the silence.
-Cin
which then leads me to my baby Comet. Comet and his brother Rocket are best of friends... at least until another dog strolls in our alley or starts barking two houses away. they do not have a problem socializing with other dogs. Comet loves to run and chase balls and play with other dogs whether small or big. nothing really intimidates him. Rocket on the other hand is shy. lovable. and other dogs do not really interest him. when they are in the backyard they play with each other without a problem. they even lay together in the sun. as soon as they hear a dog bark outside of our house or walks by... they start to bark. and then it seems as if though they are barking and growling against each other. eventually they face each other and start to go at it. retrievers are not aggressive dogs, but I would not like to be on the receiving end when they are exposing their teeth and snarling.
well all of this aggression has come down to Rocket biting Comet because of an alley dog making an appearance. and Rocket has left Comet a gaping hole on his shoulder blade. Needless to say they have been separated. They go to the gate that separates them and lick each other as if though they miss each other's company.
As for the hole, Comet seemed to be ok.... until last night. We were cleaning it and giving him medicine, but last night when we went to feed him we noticed a lump above the cut. He would not allow us to touch it. So now he is at the hospital. The cut became infected. It created a huge knot/ball on his shoulder blade and it needs to be drained. Then it needs to be cleaned. Then it needs to be closed up to avoid further infection. $133 dollars later... I hope he gets better. I don't want Comet to be hospitalized for New Years. That would just be too depressing.
and now the holidays. yay! they are done with. Well at least Christmas is.
Overall, it was a good year. I got my earrings, my coat, my game, and socks, scarves, gloves. =) no Edward Cullen though. maybe for my birthday! Still, the time spent with the family was nice. And the time spent with Mr Tortilla Face was too limited. Things have been good.
I have been so exhausted lately because everything that has been going on. I just need a break now. Even work has been keeping me busy. Things are good though. I feel very productive and happy with the results.
Now I have a new project to tackle. My birthday first. Then a new year. I think I will post one more blog before the year ends. Maybe just as a review. It is always good to go back and remember, whether the memories are good or bad.
enjoy the silence.
-Cin
Saturday, December 27, 2008
a mask only covers so much
what keeps you grounded?
what makes you smile?
what triggers the anger?
what makes it all worthwhile?
sometimes I think I have the answers and then I really look inside. You have thrown a curve ball at me... again. And the answers I thought I had no longer make any sense. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn't have. I tried to understand you. You cannot understand what doesn't make sense. You cannot paint the sky blue when it is destined to be gray.
Don't worry though (not that you ever do), this time I will not believe in unicorns. I will not hold onto false hope. Because you are what you are. A liar. A lonely little soul. A voice lost among so many out there. A child paralyzed into a corner by the fear of monsters in the closet. A scorned woman searching for her lost soul mate. A man with a dream so bright, but with no will to fight.
Your colors are bright this time. Your colors have shown. And even though I turn my back on you completely. I will continue to wonder...
what keeps you grounded?
what makes you smile?
what triggers the anger?
what makes it all worthwhile?
enjoy the silence
-Cin
what makes you smile?
what triggers the anger?
what makes it all worthwhile?
sometimes I think I have the answers and then I really look inside. You have thrown a curve ball at me... again. And the answers I thought I had no longer make any sense. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn't have. I tried to understand you. You cannot understand what doesn't make sense. You cannot paint the sky blue when it is destined to be gray.
Don't worry though (not that you ever do), this time I will not believe in unicorns. I will not hold onto false hope. Because you are what you are. A liar. A lonely little soul. A voice lost among so many out there. A child paralyzed into a corner by the fear of monsters in the closet. A scorned woman searching for her lost soul mate. A man with a dream so bright, but with no will to fight.
Your colors are bright this time. Your colors have shown. And even though I turn my back on you completely. I will continue to wonder...
what keeps you grounded?
what makes you smile?
what triggers the anger?
what makes it all worthwhile?
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Thursday, December 18, 2008
so exhausted
today was madness at work. MADNESS.
no need to talk about any of it because I am done for the day. but man... what could I change about today? EVERYTHING. yes it is that drastic.
on to other things. my Banani is married now. WOW. yet she is at our house every day. And she reminds us that she still has the key. man she loves us. I wonder if it will be hard for her to get adjusted to the married life. I wonder if she will eventually learn to cook. I wonder if after the sex, the new Mr. Banani will be in better moods. let's see how it all plays out.
did I mention that today was a shitty day? It is. My brain is officially crap right now. Nothing works in there. Thoughts are drifting around. slowly. sadly. but nothing makes sense.
On to other things, I walked in yesterday to work to find out that someone that I used to work with is in jail. It came out in the news and all. Apparently, this person has been known for going to the high schools nearby and offering the minors rides. Now that he is long and gone from this job, it seems to be that he still has this habit. BUT this time it caught up to him. He has been charged with attempting to kidnap a 13-year old girl in Covina in his work truck. The girl was able to fight him off and get away from him. According to the news, later that night while the girl had dinner with her family, she recognized the truck outside of the restaurant. He was then apprehended and is now in jail. His bail has been set to $1 million. His family notified us that apparently the inmates are handling the fact that he is being charged for trying to kidnap a 13-year old. They do NOT tolerate child molesters or rapists in jail. They automatically give the green light to kill them.
I am upset. This guy was really cool with me on a personal basis. He was nice, funny, and has a young daughter that he always talked about. To see him in these eyes bothers me. You never imagine it could ever be anyone you know until it happens. This one was close to home.
Now nevermind me, imagine what his family is going through. What will his daughter be told when she wonders where daddy is? What are they going through? Humiliation. Anger. Worry. Stress. All for what? For him and his sickness. I am not sure how things will work out for him and his family. But I hope that whatever it is, it happens quickly to at least alleviate some of the pain that I am sure that they are in right now. As for him - he will get what he deserves.
enjoy the silence.
Cin
no need to talk about any of it because I am done for the day. but man... what could I change about today? EVERYTHING. yes it is that drastic.
on to other things. my Banani is married now. WOW. yet she is at our house every day. And she reminds us that she still has the key. man she loves us. I wonder if it will be hard for her to get adjusted to the married life. I wonder if she will eventually learn to cook. I wonder if after the sex, the new Mr. Banani will be in better moods. let's see how it all plays out.
did I mention that today was a shitty day? It is. My brain is officially crap right now. Nothing works in there. Thoughts are drifting around. slowly. sadly. but nothing makes sense.
On to other things, I walked in yesterday to work to find out that someone that I used to work with is in jail. It came out in the news and all. Apparently, this person has been known for going to the high schools nearby and offering the minors rides. Now that he is long and gone from this job, it seems to be that he still has this habit. BUT this time it caught up to him. He has been charged with attempting to kidnap a 13-year old girl in Covina in his work truck. The girl was able to fight him off and get away from him. According to the news, later that night while the girl had dinner with her family, she recognized the truck outside of the restaurant. He was then apprehended and is now in jail. His bail has been set to $1 million. His family notified us that apparently the inmates are handling the fact that he is being charged for trying to kidnap a 13-year old. They do NOT tolerate child molesters or rapists in jail. They automatically give the green light to kill them.
I am upset. This guy was really cool with me on a personal basis. He was nice, funny, and has a young daughter that he always talked about. To see him in these eyes bothers me. You never imagine it could ever be anyone you know until it happens. This one was close to home.
Now nevermind me, imagine what his family is going through. What will his daughter be told when she wonders where daddy is? What are they going through? Humiliation. Anger. Worry. Stress. All for what? For him and his sickness. I am not sure how things will work out for him and his family. But I hope that whatever it is, it happens quickly to at least alleviate some of the pain that I am sure that they are in right now. As for him - he will get what he deserves.
enjoy the silence.
Cin
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
I have been told on numerous occasions that I am hard to buy gifts for. I obviously do NOT agree. I like everything. My real pleasure in receiving gifts is more on the guessing why people chose the gifts they chose for me. You would be surprised as to how people interpret you by a simple gift given.
So being in the spirit and all I decided to make a list of what I really want for Christmas and then I am going to compare it to what I really get.Note that the ones that will be buying me a gift do not know about this blogspot so it will be an interesting experience.
man that last one was a refreshing one. I think that I am still smiling.
oh well, let's see how well this experiment turns out to be.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
- let's start off with my favorite. Tiffany & Co. Honestly, how can you ever go wrong with getting a girl something from there???? Well the one thing I do want right now are some earrings. they go perfectly with my necklace. cute right?
this one is a bit more for the kid inside of me. This one is always fun to have around for late nights with the family or friends. plus, the music on this one is much better then the 1st one.
next on the line, a hooded peacoat jacket. I already own one of these, BUT I don't have it at this length and with a hood. and due to all of the rain we have been receiving here in So. California lately, I find it mandatory to have a hood on my jackets now. so here it is. black please.
- ok so I know that this one will not fit in my stocking, but a girl could wish. sigh I will take the Edward Cullen version please. no questions asked. no strings attached.
- and now back to reality... ok so I love keeping up with all of the new gadgets that come out, so this one is definitely a new toy that I would like to own. BlackBerry Storm 9530. Although I would prefer an iPhone, I refuse to switch to Cingular / At&t. So this is my choice through Verizon. If not, I guess I can deal with a Voyager.
- sticking to the technological nerd inside of me... a new ipod would be nice. once more, I already own one of these, but mine is a sad 40GB one, while the one I want now is a 120GB one. the iPod touch is actually pretty cool, but so far the biggest they offer is a 32GB one. weak.
- this one is going back to the girlie inside of me. scarves. socks. gloves. it doesn't matter from where - I just want them. warm. snuggly. comforting.
- ok so it would be impossible to keep noting everything that I want... so let's finish it off with a wish. It is Christmas right? I can wish!!!! ah but I would love to be on the receiving end of this. I promise to hold still =)
man that last one was a refreshing one. I think that I am still smiling.
oh well, let's see how well this experiment turns out to be.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
its christmas time
I used to really love Christmas. Actually, I can't say that I don't enjoy it...
I just hate the stress of finding time to go out and deal with lines and lines of angry folk that waited until the last minute like I did and then exhaust my atm card so that I can rush home and wrap not only my gifts (perfectly of course) but Mr. tortilla face's as well so that we can then argue about whose house we will be heading to and then we rush to make an appearance to both families saying our hellos and goodbyes and then wait until midnight so that it can all be done in 5 minutes while we gather around the Christmas tree and everyone makes a mess in the living room with the perfect wrapping paper and bows which will then head into a large trash bag while everyone grabs their gifts which are now known as "junk" and head off to sleep.
other then that. I love Christmas. I love seeing people's faces when they open their gifts. I love finding that one gift that I know that one person will love. And I love the food cooked during the holidays.
I just want it all to be over with.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
I just hate the stress of finding time to go out and deal with lines and lines of angry folk that waited until the last minute like I did and then exhaust my atm card so that I can rush home and wrap not only my gifts (perfectly of course) but Mr. tortilla face's as well so that we can then argue about whose house we will be heading to and then we rush to make an appearance to both families saying our hellos and goodbyes and then wait until midnight so that it can all be done in 5 minutes while we gather around the Christmas tree and everyone makes a mess in the living room with the perfect wrapping paper and bows which will then head into a large trash bag while everyone grabs their gifts which are now known as "junk" and head off to sleep.
other then that. I love Christmas. I love seeing people's faces when they open their gifts. I love finding that one gift that I know that one person will love. And I love the food cooked during the holidays.
I just want it all to be over with.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
