to be a cin or not to be

I think I am having a Cin moment. Not really sure what that means, but I am having it.

Although things are good now with being married and all – I am unhappy. It’s not really any one thing that is happening. And it isn’t something someone is doing. It’s just me I guess. Something in me is not content and so it is throwing everything off. And I want to make it better, but I have no idea what it is so nothing is changing.
I suck sometimes.


In other news, I now get to play HGTV and organize the condo how I want it. Happy. Happy. Joy. Joy. I have ideas in my head. Now I just need to see them play out. I think that I will tackle our bedroom first. No wait – the living room. Yes, the living room will be the first thing to be adjusted. Or maybe I will do a combination and tackle them both. My point is that I am itching to get going on it. We will wait and see how it all turns out. Maybe I will post pictures.


People still continue to ask me if things are “different” now that I am married with Mr. Tortilla Face. And even though I tell them "no" with a smile on my face they continue to try to scare me. “ooh, just wait a bit longer and you are going to see how it is to live with him.” “right now you are still at the newlywed stage. Just wait until you realize that he takes smelly shits.” “it is too soon to have an argument with him, but wait until you do. You are going to be glad that you have two bedrooms.”
Honestly people… let it go. Ok so I have never lived with him. And obviously we have to make adjustments. I do not doubt that things will be different, but honestly the transition and the adjustments have taken place and have been painless so far. Nothing has really changed.
His smelly shits – I have never sat in the bathroom with him while he is taking a shit (nor do I ever plan on doing this), but I am sure that if his shit is as smelly as his farts… then I’ve been there and done that.
After the amount of time that we have been together and spent together, we have had our fair share of arguments already. Mr. Tortilla Face has done some stupid stuff in the past (once I threw a tuna sandwich at him because he was acting so awesome), but we worked things out that same day after we cleaned him off of course. So I am more than confident in knowing that if we were to have an argument right now we would treat it just like every other one and talk things out. I do not believe in walking out and away from the situation. I do not plan on changing this now just because there is an extra room. Problems are to be fixed instead of being left up in the air to see if they will solve themselves. Communication is key in all types of relationships. So come on arguments, come join us for a day. I promise to keep the tuna in the can.


enjoy the silence
-Cin

and then there were 2

today is the start of a new era. my ears will no longer bleed.


on to something else... this is my 100th POST.
how exciting right? well to me it is.

so in honor of it being my 100th post, let me just brief over what makes Cin smile:
mr. Toritlla Face
good friends
Disneyland
Edward Cullen
my family for the most part
my nephews with a cherry on top
mr. Tortilla Face (comes in again)
Robert Pattinson (he he he)

and this is what has made up my posts for the most part.
well besides the ones where I just ranted about random bullkaka.
and then the ones where I was moody (or angry) and I thought I was going to strangle someone.

so here is to 100 more. I do not promise to change my style of blog. and I also do not think that I am going to be the next BIG thing. But I do want to say thanks for those that came along. thanks.
and for those that started reading and then thought what the hell is this girl's problem???. well good riddance and good night!!!!!

enjoy the silence
-Cin

today I signed my life away

although I should make the time to blog here about certain things that are going on, I don't happen to have the time at this moment - SO just a quick rant:

do you agree that your personality can be affected by your astrological sign? I am not sure what my conclusion is... but

I am a Capricorn... according to all of the books, and the wesbsites that I've read - I am true to what they say that I should be like. Yet, I have come across others like Mr. Tortilla Face that are complete opposites of what they are supposed to be like. "Aries - spontaneous, active... Tortilla face - I don't think that he can even spell spontaneous."

BUT my rant comes from people telling me that YES, your astrological sign CAN INDEED AFFECT YOUR PERSONALITY.
I know two people - for the purpose of this blog, one will be ass, the other will be hole. put them together and they become an asshole - that blame their personality on their astrological sign. These two happen to have the same astrological sign, and when put together... they become so annoying that there is no escaping it. They obviously do not see this and in turn think that they are wonderful, righteous, and that the world revolves around them. Pretty much, they love each other and portray it by Ass always telling Hole how wonderful they are. And vice versa. Nauseating.
Now normally, this really doesn't matter. A person will be who they are regardless of how much I bitch and cry about it. But these two talk about their greatness so much and how their greatness comes from their astrological sign, that I started to question it. I went online and searched their signs and yes, there were some similarities. Then I compared them to other people that are of the same sign and I saw the difference. It turns out to be that not everyone of that sign is an ass or a hole.
Those two just want to blame their ugly attitude on their sign and end up giving it a bad rep. I almost fell victim to their lies and was going to start hating their sign. Good thing I took the time to do research and figure out their lies. They are assholes because they are assholes. And although it is who they are, it is not because they are a Taurus, or a Libra, or a Leo.

so there it is folks. If you have been branded by websites and books as being a spontaneous and adventurous person that loves the outdoors... don't worry. You do not have to live up to those standards. You can sit at home and watch TV and no one will know that you are defying your astrological sign. So Mr. Tortilla Face...take out the control and enjoy being you. As for Ass and Hole... I am now on to your evil tricks!!!

enjoy the silence
-Cin

LOOK. I'm on HGTV

wow.

so Mr. Tortilla Face has finally realized that a lot of shit is about to go down. (not like in the alley, with knives and bats, just a lot of stuff that we normally do not have on our calendars) I have been telling him over and over again that we are going to get busy very soon, but he never pays attention. and this weekend he said to me

Tortilla: I think I am going to need a calendar.

Me: why is that?

Tortilla: man, I have so much shit lined up, that I need to make sure that I don't agree to do something with someone when I already have stuff going on with others.

Me: hahahah I told you.

Tortilla: I know, but I thought you were just trying to scare me.

so the truth is that we have a lot of stuff lined up. I have June and July only and then all of the planning and all of the headaches will come to an end. Right now, I have to make sure that I get my calendar organized. And then I have to make sure that I follow that calendar. And then I have to make sure that I stay sane in the process.

one thing is for sure, this whole process has allowed me to see a bit more of what kind of person I am. I have learned to be a bit more patient with others. I have learned that I bend over for others sometimes...when I shouldn't bend too much. I have learned that I am stronger and am able to handle a good amount of things on my own. I have learned that I am organized. I have learned that my relationship with Mr. Tortilla Face is awesome. I have also learned to take a step back and have told myself that this is my wedding. The excitement within me is not the same as what is within everyone else. And that is ok. So I do not hold this against anyone. (except for Mr. Tortilla Face... he better be ECSTATIC!!!!!) I just want my closest to be there with me =)

the one thing that is bothering me is the people that are flaking on me. I do not like flakers.
People have known for months when activities will take place, and yet they have made other commitments. People have told me that they want to be included and when I ask if they want to come along to whatever new adventure I have lined up, they already have other stuff planned. so instead of getting upset and getting wrinkles (like a friend of mine said), I simply move on. the organized part inside of me has sent out emails to keep everyone up to date with what is going on. I ask personally if anyone wants to join me. If someone commits or volunteers, then I stand by their word and expect them to be there. I know that sometimes things come up that force you to change your plans, and that is ok. But unless they tell me that the plans have changed, I figure that they will be there. if they flake, then I just move on and go on my adventure by myself. I cannot get mad every time. I cannot pout. I want to enjoy this as much as I can. So I cannot focus too much energy on the flakers. And I don't want to be labeled as a "bridezilla" so I don't make a fuss. BUT I do remember. I do remember who did stick by their word. And that makes a difference in how I view people in my life.

so to those that are flaking on me now please get a calendar. Google offers a great one. Please be like Mr. Tortilla Face and get organized. June and July will probably be busy months for me. And to those that made the commitment to be there ... hint hint: these are the months that you want to make an appearance. I will be ever so grateful. Even if all you are doing is standing around and making me laugh.

enjoy the silence
-Cin

pro8, prop h8, prop l8, prop w8 <-- how clever I am.

before anyone goes around yelling at me, please know that this is not meant to defend prop 8 nor is it meant to protest against it.
As a matter of fact, I am not even going to tell you what side of the line I am on. I simply want to share an observation, so if you are close-minded STOP READING NOW!!!

---
There is the group that is against it. ...PSAs have been made. Flags have been waved. Rallies have taken place.

And then you have the ones that are for it. ... Actually I am not sure what they have been doing, but I am sure that they are out there as well trying to get their point across.

---anywho... back to my point. there is one I promise.

One thing I have heard from the ones rallying against it is "equality for ALL of us"
just today, Ellen DeGeneres said on her twitter "Gov. Arnold S. said he voted against prop 8 and knows that one day it will be overturned. Thanks for being a governor to ALL Californians." yes, I did just quote a twitter.

so here is where my observation starts. my questioniong, my need to rant...

if you reject prop 8, are you really being equal to ALL?

Right now, the ones against prop 8 feel that their rights are being violated and that they are not being treated equally as Californians and as US Citizens. Their "lifestyle" (as it's called) is not being recognized by the government.
Now if you were to reverse the proposition, would the ones that are for prop 8 feel that their rights are being violated and that they are not being treated equally because the government is imposing them to accept this "lifestyle"?
And going even further to what Ellen and others have said...(although to me Arnold is a joke and I really don't care if he goes back to being the Terminator), do the Californians that back up prop 8 now feel that he is not their governor because he made that comment? does that in turn make Ellen's comment a false one because he is not being the governor of ALL Californians?

my observation:
the government is backed up against a wall, or getting really close to it. who does it side with?

the people have spoken and prop 8 was passed. And although there was a group out there that spoke against it, its voice was not heard because the majority drowned them out. whether this proposition stays as it is, or the minority turns into the majority and eventually overturns it... there will always be a group of Californians and US Citizens that will feel as if though they are not being treated equally. The government will never be able to be the government for ALL of us. History proves that time and time again, rallies have taken place. Rights have been fought for by a group of people that feel that they are being treated unfairly. It is our right to speak out.

to me, the real question is: is California... and the U.S. ...really ready to accept this "lifestyle" as part of society and recognize it as an equal?
The votes show that the last time California was asked... the majority said no.
But hey...there is no need to lose hope. Don't forget how far we have come. In case you've been living under a rock this year, I have one word for you: Obama.

enjoy the silence
-Cin

you learn a lot about others when they learn to shut up

so I was in Vegas this weekend with my MOH. good times. I did not expect to make it an "OHMYGOD-WHATHAPPENSINVEGASSTAYSINVEGAS-GIRLSONLY" kinda trip. It was just about the wedding. So we relaxed a lot. Gambled a little. Drank a little (oopsie, but I swear it was a little, not even worth mentioning) I had fun. And I accomplished plenty.

having said that - holy crap, time goes by FAST. please month of June go a little slower, I still have some things I need to do. Don't let July come by so quickly.

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in other news - Mr. Tortilla Face was left with a list of three things that he needed to accomplish while I was away - he accomplished none of them. that is why I love him.
BUT he did take me to Yoshinoya when I came back because he knew that I was hungry and I love that place. score one for him.

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I think I will make an alias and make a new blog. One where I can say as I please. Because this one, although I rant and all - there are limitations. I hate limitations. who knows. I am too lazy to think about it right now. let alone come up with one.

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I have a lot on my mind right now and want to say so much, but like always I wouldn't even know where to start. So I won't. Let's just leave it at the fact that I am questioning a lot of stuff.

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I dreamt that I was having a baby the other day. So real. So nice. It was a little boy. that is all there is to that. no need to elaborate.
I am now... off to enjoy the holiday.

enjoy the silence
-Cin