one more drink please... of water that is!

I have decided to give up drinking.

no, I am not an alcoholic. I do not have a drink on a daily basis or even on a weekly basis. but, I am a social drinker and I do enjoy having a drink on the weekend to help me relax or to loosen up a bit. So I have decided to give up this part of social Cin.

Me giving up my drinking is not because of moral obligations.
I do not think a person can automatically be labeled as a bad person, condemned to hell, because they choose to have a shot of Patron (with lemon and salt on the side please).
BUT
I do think that drinking can be a bad thing when the person does not have self-control and abuses it. People that drink and then act like if they belong in the cave-man times are so not cool.
I do not fit in this category. I am sure that I can, but I know how to hold my liquor for the most part.

The reason that I am choosing to steer away from the alcohol, (even though I know that this will be hard) is for my health. I have a goal to reach regarding my health. With this goal, I have chosen to make sacrifices now, so that I can enjoy later.
I have already given up soda, which was not as hard as I thought it would be. Although I admit that when I do sip on PEPSI, it's like speed running down my throat. (oh sweet PEPSI how I miss you).
Chocolate was the next victim on my list. That one, I admit was hard. I still stare at it with dreamy eyes as others enjoy it in front of me. cruel world.
And now I have moved on to alcohol.
oh margaritas, how I will miss sipping on you while out to dinner with the ladies and cracking jokes about life and anyone close enough to be a target. how I will miss the threesomes that we have had with Mr. Tortilla Face. And please, never let go of the memories of me puking and crying and puking and cleaning and crying because my mascara was running (I swear that this only happens in Vegas). but for now, I have to put you to the side and let go for a while.

so why will this be so hard you ask? mostly because I am exaggerating and want to seem as if though I have no self-control. the truth is that it's the environment that I have been in lately that makes me think that this might be hard. I have been in a lot of social settings where drinking is around me and being served left and right. And although it is easy to say "water please." it is also easy to say "oooh. a PatronRita!"
I do not want to lock myself up in my room simply because I know that alcohol will be at the next social function. Instead, I want to take the challenge and truly test myself. Will I give in to that voice in my head that says "oh one small drink won't hurt." or will I be strong and say "water please."
I do not promise anything. This is a test that I am willing to take on. I might have the same results as the soda and chocolate and pass without a problem. Or I might just fail this coming Saturday! Whichever way, it will be interesting to see... stay tuned for updates.

enjoy the silence
-Cin

reflection in random train of thought

did you know that people suck? yea... they still do.

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today is the day of a significant change in my life. I am excited. I am proud. I am scared. I am confident. I am glad that I have Mr. Tortilla Face to share this with. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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my blog has been a bit negative recently. sorry mostly because there have been a lot of changes in my life recently. the biggest one is my opinion on some of my friends/acquaintances/family. the change has caused me to reorganize my priority list. It also allowed me to learn that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. my relationship with Mr. Tortilla Face is stronger than I even imagined. so although I have been a bit down because of the recent changes, I am happy that my life is moving in a direction that I have wanted in a long time. And although it might be sad that not everyone I love and care for is coming along for the ride - I can live with that.
they say you are your ten closest friends - why keep someone around that is only dragging me down? or being negative?

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I am thankful for friends though. Devina and I finally got through a huge hurdle - she got her MOH dress!!!!! which means that I can now do a lot of stuff. not that I am doing any of it, but I can do them now!!!!! Her dress is bootyful (and I'm not saying that because of her) I just really like it. its simple. its a great color. and it will make my vision come true.
She has actually been a great help in getting me out of this hole that I have been in. Friday night we shopped and dined. I was in the worst of moods on Friday and she made it all better. Even though she didn't let me buy these blue flats that were so purty.
And then Saturday, after hanging out with the soon to be mom-in-law, we went to Beverly Hills. shopped. had a great lunch. talked. compared penises. and shared our lunch. actually I made her take mine, but whatevs. same difference.

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and now the only thing I need that would make things go smoothly is seeing my nephews. I will be travelling up north (to go see them of course) and then ... only then ... will things really be turning around for me.

so until then - I am waiting patiently.
I am sitting happy that Bonds wishes me happiness.
I am leaving on Friday.
And I might do a little dance. For ol' times.

enjoy the silence
-Cin

i have to pee

last night I had a great conversation with someone and it went a little like this:

Catholic: ok Cin, see you Monday!

self: Monday? you won't be here tomorrow?

Catholic: naw man! I don't work on Good Friday.

self: oh alright then. see you Monday!

Catholic: can you believe that they made me use my vacation time for my day off request???? (a look of pure disbelief all over his face)

self: yea. what's wrong with that? (I am sure that my face had a big question mark on it)

Catholic: it's Good Friday!!! that's a holiday!

self: it's not a holiday in the U S of A my friend... and it's definitely not a holiday in this company.

Catholic: that is stupid. I shouldn't have to waste my vacation time for Good Friday... its a holiday!!!

self: why not? Good Friday is not a national holiday.

Catholic: why not? Easter is.

self: Good Friday is part of your religion. The church and government are considered separate entities. They do not celebrate religious holidays as a nation because we have the freedom to choose a religion in the US.

Catholic: well that is stupid.

self: why is it stupid? because we have rights? if we celebrate the Catholic holidays as a nation then we would have to acknowledge the holidays and customs of the Jewish community, Presbyterians, Baptist, 7DA and so on. This is why the constitution keeps this as two separate entities. That way our rights as US citizens are not violated when it comes to choosing your religion.

Catholic: well that is dumb.

self: why?

Catholic: because my right is being violated as a Catholic to celebrate my custom.

self: no it's not. the company acknowledged your request and gave you tomorrow off. they're just not paying you for it out of their own pocket. and by law, they are in the right. plus, you're not even a citizen.

Catholic: what about Easter? everyone celebrates Easter!

self: I don't.

Catholic: you've never gone egg hunting?

self: yes I have.

Catholic: well then...

self: well then what? what does Easter and egg hunting have to do with each other for a Catholic?do Catholics pray to the Easter Bunny on Sunday? egg hunting is more of a corporate holiday. It does not tie in with your religion.

Catholic: no, but people associate the two together.

self: yes, but its not for religious purposes. plus, egg hunting is not considered a national holiday.

Catholic: (the look is now an upset one) whatever. see you Monday.

self: bye.

---

I was not trying to argue with this person. really, I wasn't. but some people just ... look better when their mouths are quiet.

most people think that I am not religious because of situations like these. the truth is that I am religious. I'm just not Catholic. And I know that there are many Catholics out there, especially in California. But it is not the only religion. People should really educate themselves before assuming or jumping to conclusions especially if they are going to argue about it. They really do look like asses when they act like if I am the daughter of Satan for eating chicken on Good Friday and because I don't see the connection between the Easter Bunny and the resurrection of Christ.
for those that are celebrating Easter - have a good one. =)
see... I am not the spawn of the devil.

enjoy the silence
-Cin