2008 is almost over. wow. what has come out of this year? what did I spend all 365 days doing?
friends have come and gone.
one of the most significant ones was a new friend, whom happened to be a mutual friend with one of my closest friends. just as quickly as we met and bonded... the friendship broke apart. this was actually a sad one because of the mutual friend we shared. they are not on speaking terms as well. this was a sad loss in the beginning - now I face it without a doubt in my head. I had mixed feelings and even questioned some of my actions because of other's words or reactions, but not anymore. I stand by what I did. things ended the way they should have. if our mutual friend chooses to befriend this person, I am stepping away from that circle. It is not something I want to be part of or that I need in my life. I do not like people that constantly play the victim just for the sake of attention.
I have also bonded a great deal with other friends. its like they say, when one door closes another one opens. I have had more time to allow myself to involve myself with other people that have always been close to me. And to maintain some of the great friendships I already had.
I found out this year that some of these friends are like family members. How could I not include them in my day to day function and my family events?
weddings and new beginnings.
my younger sister is now someones wife. she was proposed to earlier this year and was married by the end of the year. I miss her. we have become close over the past years, and it is sad to lose her even though she lives so close. one regret of her wedding, I did not get to give my MOH speech. I really wanted to let her know how much I love her.
2009 will be my year to become a wife, although sometimes it already feels that I am already playing that role. I have not been able to plan much because of my sister's wedding, but starting 2009... the planning begins. After that will come babies. holy crap. that is a blog on its own.
new family.
family has always been there for me. I consider myself lucky. every now and then I meet a new cousin or rekindle a long lost friendship with an old family member. this year has been no different - drama. novelas. pointless crap. family is great. but man oh man sometimes they are a nuisance. this year I learned that even the one close to you are the ones you cannot trust. I also learned that I might love a family member because of the same blood that runs within our veins, but I do not have to like the person that they are or have become.
I lost a family member. My dear Chiquis, but gained two new ones along the way.
its amore.
I have nothing to say about this and everything to say. Mr. Tortilla Face is my huero. flaco. pelon. he loves me. I know this. and I love him. that is all there is to it. and next year we will have a hell of a ride. I am looking forward to it! you would figure that after being together for so long we would get tired of each other or something - but that is not the case. he is definitely my other half.
dreams.
ah this year has been full of inspiration. and from inspiration has grown a lot of creativity and a lot of new ideas.
I have started to make one of my hobbies into a reality and so far I am excited. I really do not know where any of this may lead me. It may lead nowhere, but at least I know that I went for it. that on its own is a great accomplishment.
career.
I have learned this year that I am a great accountant. I know that I am. I know that I carry a lot of responsibilities on my shoulder and that if someone else was in my position, they would not carry them through as thoroughly as I do.
I have started asking myself if an accountant is the way to go for me. I still do not have an answer, but I know that as long as I am happy... I will continue on this path. Even if my hobby becomes a reality, I think that I would still want to be an accountant. It is something that I enjoy doing. (yes, even on the days when things are horrible at work and all I want to do is run out of the office and choke someone)
health.
this year I lost my gall bladder. pain. fear. sigh of relief. this started me on the path to become healthy. so far I have accomplished a lot with certain changes, but I have big dreams. which means that I want more out of all of this. so the gym is still included. as well as my new way of life.
resolutions...
I really do not have any. I just want to stick to what I have already been doing. so far it has been a good one. I find it pointless to make new resolutions that I probably will not follow, or that I might make unreachable and will never get to following. So instead, I will just strive to become a better person in all ways possible. so here is to 2009. I will become Mrs. Tortilla Face. I will become a mother. I will become a bridezilla. I will become a healthier person. I will become a better friend. I will become a better Cin.
so enjoy the new year. be safe. and party like smart rock stars.
enjoy the silence.
Cin
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
movies and dogs oh and holidays too
I went to see Marley and Me with a real good friend this weekend. the movie was actually.. good. but a bit too close to home. it reminded me of Chiquis too much. still it was really worth the movie. and the time.
which then leads me to my baby Comet. Comet and his brother Rocket are best of friends... at least until another dog strolls in our alley or starts barking two houses away. they do not have a problem socializing with other dogs. Comet loves to run and chase balls and play with other dogs whether small or big. nothing really intimidates him. Rocket on the other hand is shy. lovable. and other dogs do not really interest him. when they are in the backyard they play with each other without a problem. they even lay together in the sun. as soon as they hear a dog bark outside of our house or walks by... they start to bark. and then it seems as if though they are barking and growling against each other. eventually they face each other and start to go at it. retrievers are not aggressive dogs, but I would not like to be on the receiving end when they are exposing their teeth and snarling.
well all of this aggression has come down to Rocket biting Comet because of an alley dog making an appearance. and Rocket has left Comet a gaping hole on his shoulder blade. Needless to say they have been separated. They go to the gate that separates them and lick each other as if though they miss each other's company.
As for the hole, Comet seemed to be ok.... until last night. We were cleaning it and giving him medicine, but last night when we went to feed him we noticed a lump above the cut. He would not allow us to touch it. So now he is at the hospital. The cut became infected. It created a huge knot/ball on his shoulder blade and it needs to be drained. Then it needs to be cleaned. Then it needs to be closed up to avoid further infection. $133 dollars later... I hope he gets better. I don't want Comet to be hospitalized for New Years. That would just be too depressing.
and now the holidays. yay! they are done with. Well at least Christmas is.
Overall, it was a good year. I got my earrings, my coat, my game, and socks, scarves, gloves. =) no Edward Cullen though. maybe for my birthday! Still, the time spent with the family was nice. And the time spent with Mr Tortilla Face was too limited. Things have been good.
I have been so exhausted lately because everything that has been going on. I just need a break now. Even work has been keeping me busy. Things are good though. I feel very productive and happy with the results.
Now I have a new project to tackle. My birthday first. Then a new year. I think I will post one more blog before the year ends. Maybe just as a review. It is always good to go back and remember, whether the memories are good or bad.
enjoy the silence.
-Cin
which then leads me to my baby Comet. Comet and his brother Rocket are best of friends... at least until another dog strolls in our alley or starts barking two houses away. they do not have a problem socializing with other dogs. Comet loves to run and chase balls and play with other dogs whether small or big. nothing really intimidates him. Rocket on the other hand is shy. lovable. and other dogs do not really interest him. when they are in the backyard they play with each other without a problem. they even lay together in the sun. as soon as they hear a dog bark outside of our house or walks by... they start to bark. and then it seems as if though they are barking and growling against each other. eventually they face each other and start to go at it. retrievers are not aggressive dogs, but I would not like to be on the receiving end when they are exposing their teeth and snarling.
well all of this aggression has come down to Rocket biting Comet because of an alley dog making an appearance. and Rocket has left Comet a gaping hole on his shoulder blade. Needless to say they have been separated. They go to the gate that separates them and lick each other as if though they miss each other's company.
As for the hole, Comet seemed to be ok.... until last night. We were cleaning it and giving him medicine, but last night when we went to feed him we noticed a lump above the cut. He would not allow us to touch it. So now he is at the hospital. The cut became infected. It created a huge knot/ball on his shoulder blade and it needs to be drained. Then it needs to be cleaned. Then it needs to be closed up to avoid further infection. $133 dollars later... I hope he gets better. I don't want Comet to be hospitalized for New Years. That would just be too depressing.
and now the holidays. yay! they are done with. Well at least Christmas is.
Overall, it was a good year. I got my earrings, my coat, my game, and socks, scarves, gloves. =) no Edward Cullen though. maybe for my birthday! Still, the time spent with the family was nice. And the time spent with Mr Tortilla Face was too limited. Things have been good.
I have been so exhausted lately because everything that has been going on. I just need a break now. Even work has been keeping me busy. Things are good though. I feel very productive and happy with the results.
Now I have a new project to tackle. My birthday first. Then a new year. I think I will post one more blog before the year ends. Maybe just as a review. It is always good to go back and remember, whether the memories are good or bad.
enjoy the silence.
-Cin
Saturday, December 27, 2008
a mask only covers so much
what keeps you grounded?
what makes you smile?
what triggers the anger?
what makes it all worthwhile?
sometimes I think I have the answers and then I really look inside. You have thrown a curve ball at me... again. And the answers I thought I had no longer make any sense. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn't have. I tried to understand you. You cannot understand what doesn't make sense. You cannot paint the sky blue when it is destined to be gray.
Don't worry though (not that you ever do), this time I will not believe in unicorns. I will not hold onto false hope. Because you are what you are. A liar. A lonely little soul. A voice lost among so many out there. A child paralyzed into a corner by the fear of monsters in the closet. A scorned woman searching for her lost soul mate. A man with a dream so bright, but with no will to fight.
Your colors are bright this time. Your colors have shown. And even though I turn my back on you completely. I will continue to wonder...
what keeps you grounded?
what makes you smile?
what triggers the anger?
what makes it all worthwhile?
enjoy the silence
-Cin
what makes you smile?
what triggers the anger?
what makes it all worthwhile?
sometimes I think I have the answers and then I really look inside. You have thrown a curve ball at me... again. And the answers I thought I had no longer make any sense. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn't have. I tried to understand you. You cannot understand what doesn't make sense. You cannot paint the sky blue when it is destined to be gray.
Don't worry though (not that you ever do), this time I will not believe in unicorns. I will not hold onto false hope. Because you are what you are. A liar. A lonely little soul. A voice lost among so many out there. A child paralyzed into a corner by the fear of monsters in the closet. A scorned woman searching for her lost soul mate. A man with a dream so bright, but with no will to fight.
Your colors are bright this time. Your colors have shown. And even though I turn my back on you completely. I will continue to wonder...
what keeps you grounded?
what makes you smile?
what triggers the anger?
what makes it all worthwhile?
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Thursday, December 18, 2008
so exhausted
today was madness at work. MADNESS.
no need to talk about any of it because I am done for the day. but man... what could I change about today? EVERYTHING. yes it is that drastic.
on to other things. my Banani is married now. WOW. yet she is at our house every day. And she reminds us that she still has the key. man she loves us. I wonder if it will be hard for her to get adjusted to the married life. I wonder if she will eventually learn to cook. I wonder if after the sex, the new Mr. Banani will be in better moods. let's see how it all plays out.
did I mention that today was a shitty day? It is. My brain is officially crap right now. Nothing works in there. Thoughts are drifting around. slowly. sadly. but nothing makes sense.
On to other things, I walked in yesterday to work to find out that someone that I used to work with is in jail. It came out in the news and all. Apparently, this person has been known for going to the high schools nearby and offering the minors rides. Now that he is long and gone from this job, it seems to be that he still has this habit. BUT this time it caught up to him. He has been charged with attempting to kidnap a 13-year old girl in Covina in his work truck. The girl was able to fight him off and get away from him. According to the news, later that night while the girl had dinner with her family, she recognized the truck outside of the restaurant. He was then apprehended and is now in jail. His bail has been set to $1 million. His family notified us that apparently the inmates are handling the fact that he is being charged for trying to kidnap a 13-year old. They do NOT tolerate child molesters or rapists in jail. They automatically give the green light to kill them.
I am upset. This guy was really cool with me on a personal basis. He was nice, funny, and has a young daughter that he always talked about. To see him in these eyes bothers me. You never imagine it could ever be anyone you know until it happens. This one was close to home.
Now nevermind me, imagine what his family is going through. What will his daughter be told when she wonders where daddy is? What are they going through? Humiliation. Anger. Worry. Stress. All for what? For him and his sickness. I am not sure how things will work out for him and his family. But I hope that whatever it is, it happens quickly to at least alleviate some of the pain that I am sure that they are in right now. As for him - he will get what he deserves.
enjoy the silence.
Cin
no need to talk about any of it because I am done for the day. but man... what could I change about today? EVERYTHING. yes it is that drastic.
on to other things. my Banani is married now. WOW. yet she is at our house every day. And she reminds us that she still has the key. man she loves us. I wonder if it will be hard for her to get adjusted to the married life. I wonder if she will eventually learn to cook. I wonder if after the sex, the new Mr. Banani will be in better moods. let's see how it all plays out.
did I mention that today was a shitty day? It is. My brain is officially crap right now. Nothing works in there. Thoughts are drifting around. slowly. sadly. but nothing makes sense.
On to other things, I walked in yesterday to work to find out that someone that I used to work with is in jail. It came out in the news and all. Apparently, this person has been known for going to the high schools nearby and offering the minors rides. Now that he is long and gone from this job, it seems to be that he still has this habit. BUT this time it caught up to him. He has been charged with attempting to kidnap a 13-year old girl in Covina in his work truck. The girl was able to fight him off and get away from him. According to the news, later that night while the girl had dinner with her family, she recognized the truck outside of the restaurant. He was then apprehended and is now in jail. His bail has been set to $1 million. His family notified us that apparently the inmates are handling the fact that he is being charged for trying to kidnap a 13-year old. They do NOT tolerate child molesters or rapists in jail. They automatically give the green light to kill them.
I am upset. This guy was really cool with me on a personal basis. He was nice, funny, and has a young daughter that he always talked about. To see him in these eyes bothers me. You never imagine it could ever be anyone you know until it happens. This one was close to home.
Now nevermind me, imagine what his family is going through. What will his daughter be told when she wonders where daddy is? What are they going through? Humiliation. Anger. Worry. Stress. All for what? For him and his sickness. I am not sure how things will work out for him and his family. But I hope that whatever it is, it happens quickly to at least alleviate some of the pain that I am sure that they are in right now. As for him - he will get what he deserves.
enjoy the silence.
Cin
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
I have been told on numerous occasions that I am hard to buy gifts for. I obviously do NOT agree. I like everything. My real pleasure in receiving gifts is more on the guessing why people chose the gifts they chose for me. You would be surprised as to how people interpret you by a simple gift given.
So being in the spirit and all I decided to make a list of what I really want for Christmas and then I am going to compare it to what I really get.Note that the ones that will be buying me a gift do not know about this blogspot so it will be an interesting experience.
man that last one was a refreshing one. I think that I am still smiling.
oh well, let's see how well this experiment turns out to be.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
- let's start off with my favorite. Tiffany & Co. Honestly, how can you ever go wrong with getting a girl something from there???? Well the one thing I do want right now are some earrings. they go perfectly with my necklace. cute right?
this one is a bit more for the kid inside of me. This one is always fun to have around for late nights with the family or friends. plus, the music on this one is much better then the 1st one.
next on the line, a hooded peacoat jacket. I already own one of these, BUT I don't have it at this length and with a hood. and due to all of the rain we have been receiving here in So. California lately, I find it mandatory to have a hood on my jackets now. so here it is. black please.
- ok so I know that this one will not fit in my stocking, but a girl could wish. sigh I will take the Edward Cullen version please. no questions asked. no strings attached.
- and now back to reality... ok so I love keeping up with all of the new gadgets that come out, so this one is definitely a new toy that I would like to own. BlackBerry Storm 9530. Although I would prefer an iPhone, I refuse to switch to Cingular / At&t. So this is my choice through Verizon. If not, I guess I can deal with a Voyager.
- sticking to the technological nerd inside of me... a new ipod would be nice. once more, I already own one of these, but mine is a sad 40GB one, while the one I want now is a 120GB one. the iPod touch is actually pretty cool, but so far the biggest they offer is a 32GB one. weak.
- this one is going back to the girlie inside of me. scarves. socks. gloves. it doesn't matter from where - I just want them. warm. snuggly. comforting.
- ok so it would be impossible to keep noting everything that I want... so let's finish it off with a wish. It is Christmas right? I can wish!!!! ah but I would love to be on the receiving end of this. I promise to hold still =)
man that last one was a refreshing one. I think that I am still smiling.
oh well, let's see how well this experiment turns out to be.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
its christmas time
I used to really love Christmas. Actually, I can't say that I don't enjoy it...
I just hate the stress of finding time to go out and deal with lines and lines of angry folk that waited until the last minute like I did and then exhaust my atm card so that I can rush home and wrap not only my gifts (perfectly of course) but Mr. tortilla face's as well so that we can then argue about whose house we will be heading to and then we rush to make an appearance to both families saying our hellos and goodbyes and then wait until midnight so that it can all be done in 5 minutes while we gather around the Christmas tree and everyone makes a mess in the living room with the perfect wrapping paper and bows which will then head into a large trash bag while everyone grabs their gifts which are now known as "junk" and head off to sleep.
other then that. I love Christmas. I love seeing people's faces when they open their gifts. I love finding that one gift that I know that one person will love. And I love the food cooked during the holidays.
I just want it all to be over with.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
I just hate the stress of finding time to go out and deal with lines and lines of angry folk that waited until the last minute like I did and then exhaust my atm card so that I can rush home and wrap not only my gifts (perfectly of course) but Mr. tortilla face's as well so that we can then argue about whose house we will be heading to and then we rush to make an appearance to both families saying our hellos and goodbyes and then wait until midnight so that it can all be done in 5 minutes while we gather around the Christmas tree and everyone makes a mess in the living room with the perfect wrapping paper and bows which will then head into a large trash bag while everyone grabs their gifts which are now known as "junk" and head off to sleep.
other then that. I love Christmas. I love seeing people's faces when they open their gifts. I love finding that one gift that I know that one person will love. And I love the food cooked during the holidays.
I just want it all to be over with.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Thursday, December 11, 2008
i have a cold
I can hear the Smashing Pumpkins playing in the background
papers being separated, stapled, printed.
its not too cold today.
I think the heater is on
somebody has a pretty perfume on.
somebody is laughing and chit chatting
computers are broken down.
my nose is running
my head is throbbing
my body is starting to ache
money is being exchanged
checks are being written
coffee is being brewed
yet none of this helps or stops my cold from coming
apparently someone invited it to the wedding this weekend.
I RSVPed me plus one.
this was not the one I was hoping to take
enjoy the silence -
Cin
papers being separated, stapled, printed.
its not too cold today.
I think the heater is on
somebody has a pretty perfume on.
somebody is laughing and chit chatting
computers are broken down.
my nose is running
my head is throbbing
my body is starting to ache
money is being exchanged
checks are being written
coffee is being brewed
yet none of this helps or stops my cold from coming
apparently someone invited it to the wedding this weekend.
I RSVPed me plus one.
this was not the one I was hoping to take
enjoy the silence -
Cin
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
new addition to the playlist of my so called life
I love music. I love everything about it. The beats. The lyrics. The feelings. The everything.
When I need inspiration I turn to music. It gets me out of any rut I might be in and it helps lick any wounds that life might have caused. It brings a smile to my face when it seems that its never going to appear again. It helps me sulk when I feel like being emotional. It puts me to sleep when my mind refuses to settle.
Being the moody person that I am - I think that this is why I turn to music the most. Sometimes it is very hard for me to explain how I feel. Trust me, it's not that I do not know when I am depressed, or angry or happy. It's just that sometimes I do not know why. Sometimes my heart feels heavy and my mind races with thoughts left and right. Yet I cannot pinpoint why. I usually choose to keep this little bit of misery and frustration to myself. There really is no point to talk to others about something I cannot explain even to myself. This is when music heals. I go through my ipod and shuffle songs and wait patiently. I never know what band will do the trick, or what genre. I just know that when the right song plays it explains how I am feeling at the time. As corny as it sounds, it speaks to my heart and soul. Sometimes the songs don't add up to whatever is currently goingon. It might be a sad love song that does the trick even though my love life is okay. It might be a revolutionary punk song, or even an upbeat club song. There really isn't a style of song that I search for. I just know that once it is on, regardless of how confusing it might be... it does the trick.
Last week was a weird week for me. Something just did not feel right. I was ready to cry at any moment and I did not know what got me in this mood to begin with or what would trigger it. I just knew that I was not a happy camper. Maybe it was all of the stress because of the wedding. Or maybe the lack of sleep. Or maybe all of the lovey-doveyness I was reading in the Twilight series. Whichever way, I was a mess. And then the song came on my ipod that has made me ... different. Not just in my mood, but in other aspects as well.
Brand New - The Devil and God are Raging Inside of Me - Degausser
I've had this CD for quite some time now, but I had never really listened to it. It's not that I didn't like it, its just that I have so many other options. Well once I heard this song last Thursday, everything cleared up for me. I have been inspired. I searched for the lyrics to see if I could find a meaning in them. No luck. It doesn't matter to me really why this song. What matters is the fact that my mood has improved. That empty feeling is gone and has been replaced by this song. I hear it every day at least 3 times.
This is what music does to me. This is why it means a lot to me. If I could not share my thoughts through a song... I am not sure what other outlet I would go for. Having said that, I suggest you listen to the song and follow it with the lyrics. And now I leave you with my favorite verse in the song.
When I need inspiration I turn to music. It gets me out of any rut I might be in and it helps lick any wounds that life might have caused. It brings a smile to my face when it seems that its never going to appear again. It helps me sulk when I feel like being emotional. It puts me to sleep when my mind refuses to settle.
Being the moody person that I am - I think that this is why I turn to music the most. Sometimes it is very hard for me to explain how I feel. Trust me, it's not that I do not know when I am depressed, or angry or happy. It's just that sometimes I do not know why. Sometimes my heart feels heavy and my mind races with thoughts left and right. Yet I cannot pinpoint why. I usually choose to keep this little bit of misery and frustration to myself. There really is no point to talk to others about something I cannot explain even to myself. This is when music heals. I go through my ipod and shuffle songs and wait patiently. I never know what band will do the trick, or what genre. I just know that when the right song plays it explains how I am feeling at the time. As corny as it sounds, it speaks to my heart and soul. Sometimes the songs don't add up to whatever is currently goingon. It might be a sad love song that does the trick even though my love life is okay. It might be a revolutionary punk song, or even an upbeat club song. There really isn't a style of song that I search for. I just know that once it is on, regardless of how confusing it might be... it does the trick.
Last week was a weird week for me. Something just did not feel right. I was ready to cry at any moment and I did not know what got me in this mood to begin with or what would trigger it. I just knew that I was not a happy camper. Maybe it was all of the stress because of the wedding. Or maybe the lack of sleep. Or maybe all of the lovey-doveyness I was reading in the Twilight series. Whichever way, I was a mess. And then the song came on my ipod that has made me ... different. Not just in my mood, but in other aspects as well.
Brand New - The Devil and God are Raging Inside of Me - Degausser
I've had this CD for quite some time now, but I had never really listened to it. It's not that I didn't like it, its just that I have so many other options. Well once I heard this song last Thursday, everything cleared up for me. I have been inspired. I searched for the lyrics to see if I could find a meaning in them. No luck. It doesn't matter to me really why this song. What matters is the fact that my mood has improved. That empty feeling is gone and has been replaced by this song. I hear it every day at least 3 times.
This is what music does to me. This is why it means a lot to me. If I could not share my thoughts through a song... I am not sure what other outlet I would go for. Having said that, I suggest you listen to the song and follow it with the lyrics. And now I leave you with my favorite verse in the song.
Well take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
Say I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in
When we were made we were set apart
Life is a test and I get bad marks
Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins
The storm is coming, the storm is coming in
I love you so much that it hurts my head
Say I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in
When we were made we were set apart
Life is a test and I get bad marks
Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins
The storm is coming, the storm is coming in
enjoy the silence my friends.
-Cin
-Cin
Monday, December 8, 2008
lucky to be me, right?
man oh man.
this coming weekend - wedding (not mine)
next weekend - birthday and party (not mine)
Christmas
weekend after that - my weekend to work
New Years
birthday (mine)
can we say exhaustion?
I haven't even started buying gifts. I still have to worry about this wedding before I can even begin to tackle the holidays.
what am I talking about exhaustion...the only thing that is being exhausted is my bank account.
I have to admit, I love giving. gift shopping for friends and family is always fun. this is why being limited due to the wedding bums me out. I hate limitations.
one great thing has happened. I got Tiffany back. yay!
on to other things - I have started taking one of my hobbies/dreams quite seriously lately. I am taking it so serious that I am looking into certain things to help me out with making this dream come true. I never like to talk about it or say it out loud because I hate to jinx myself. Yes, I know... superstitious. Still, I cannot wait until I really get some progress going. For now, I am just pushing myself.
I finished the Twilight series. Very interesting. Was it worth the sleepless nights? Definitely. Would I have made changes? Yup. Book 1 was isntant love. Book 2 was too much about Jacob and Bella, and although I understand why they went over them so much... I think it could have been cut short. Some parts did not have to go into that much details. Book 3 was gooood. I think some of book 3 could have been mixed with book 2. I don't want to say how in case someone that hasn't read them, happens to run into this blog and I spoil parts for them. Book 4 was really good, but a bit rushed toward the end. All of the explaining in Book 2 should have been used in book 4. Now follow along, don't get lost... but I would have given book 2 of book 4 to Edward and not Jacob. And I would have made a Book 5 so that I would be able to explain some parts. Having said all of that .... I still loved them. I still want to see the movies. And I am still fantasizing about Edward Cullen. (sigh)
ok now I have to go pry tortilla face from the football game so that we can go wedding-gift-shopping. I doubt it will happen though, his team is playing which means that he will not leave the television until the game is over.
For now, enjoy the chilly weather in California. and enjoy the holidays that are slowly but surely creeping up on us.
enjoy the silence,
Cin
this coming weekend - wedding (not mine)
next weekend - birthday and party (not mine)
Christmas
weekend after that - my weekend to work
New Years
birthday (mine)
can we say exhaustion?
I haven't even started buying gifts. I still have to worry about this wedding before I can even begin to tackle the holidays.
what am I talking about exhaustion...the only thing that is being exhausted is my bank account.
I have to admit, I love giving. gift shopping for friends and family is always fun. this is why being limited due to the wedding bums me out. I hate limitations.
one great thing has happened. I got Tiffany back. yay!
on to other things - I have started taking one of my hobbies/dreams quite seriously lately. I am taking it so serious that I am looking into certain things to help me out with making this dream come true. I never like to talk about it or say it out loud because I hate to jinx myself. Yes, I know... superstitious. Still, I cannot wait until I really get some progress going. For now, I am just pushing myself.
I finished the Twilight series. Very interesting. Was it worth the sleepless nights? Definitely. Would I have made changes? Yup. Book 1 was isntant love. Book 2 was too much about Jacob and Bella, and although I understand why they went over them so much... I think it could have been cut short. Some parts did not have to go into that much details. Book 3 was gooood. I think some of book 3 could have been mixed with book 2. I don't want to say how in case someone that hasn't read them, happens to run into this blog and I spoil parts for them. Book 4 was really good, but a bit rushed toward the end. All of the explaining in Book 2 should have been used in book 4. Now follow along, don't get lost... but I would have given book 2 of book 4 to Edward and not Jacob. And I would have made a Book 5 so that I would be able to explain some parts. Having said all of that .... I still loved them. I still want to see the movies. And I am still fantasizing about Edward Cullen. (sigh)
ok now I have to go pry tortilla face from the football game so that we can go wedding-gift-shopping. I doubt it will happen though, his team is playing which means that he will not leave the television until the game is over.
For now, enjoy the chilly weather in California. and enjoy the holidays that are slowly but surely creeping up on us.
enjoy the silence,
Cin
Monday, December 1, 2008
new era
last August I was in Las Vegas on my bed in the MGM for the weekend. I remember sitting on the bed while the TV was on and I was straightening my hair. Mr. Tortilla Face was showering. The news was playing, something about some new frenzy from a lot of readers. I did not pay that much attention to it, I just remembered that a movie was coming out in November and that it had something to do with this frenzy. The rest of the weekend, this Twilight movie and book kept calling out to me. Apparently, it wanted my attention. So after the 10th time of seeing it flicker on the news, I decided to pay attention. There it was in front of me - a series about vampires. I am usually up to date with all new books and such, but this one must have slipped by. I knew then and there that I had to get these books. And that is just what I did... I bought all 4 of them.
I didn't open them though. While in Vegas, they became an extra bag with four heavy books that I had to carry around. As a matter of fact, when I got home that is just what they remained. Four heavy books in a box of other books from my collection. I kept telling myself that I would get to them, but something would always come up... like preparations for my sister's wedding and such. And then the movie came out. Now it just seemed like if it was pointless to read them. The books had become a trend and I tried to convince myself that I did not want to be part of that trend.
But this weekend - all of that went out the window. Mr. Tortilla Face left me on Saturday to go see Notre Dame get spanked by USC. I decided to stay home and chill. I knew that I was either going to sit and watch movies, sit online and listen to music, or read a book. I decided to pick up Twilight and read. So there I was Saturday night, I had just finished rocking out on RockBand, it was about 8pm, and I started to read.
I finished the book the following day at 4:15pm. holy crap I was hooked. I became a freakin' twilighter. So of course, being the dramatic person that I am - I rushed to take a shower and as soon as I got out it was Tortilla Face's turn to get out of bed and do the same. While he showered I started reading New Moon. Two chapters later, we head out to the movies.
I will admit one thing about this book - it was great. The way she writes makes it quite easy to follow along and keep reading. The story itself is my kind of story. Edward is a freakin' vampire and something inside of me has always had an attraction for these beings. Always. To me vampires=sex. If I could come back as anything it would be as a vampire. I would have to be beautiful of course. And whomever my mate was would have to be the most beautiful creature anyone had ever seen. All the others would want him, but it did not matter because he would only have eyes for me.... do you see my obsession? So when I sat there waiting for the previews to flash, I got nervous. I was really nervous to see if they would do justice to the book and the excellent story-telling. And then it started.
Being the analytical person that I am (and the fact that I had just finished reading the book), I realized that a lot of my favorite parts of this book had been omitted from the movie. And a lot of parts that had nothing to do with the book were included. I actually sat in the theater annoyed. I made the best of it and watched as the two characters interacted. I pictured them in my head like I usually do when I read. The actors could not have been chosen better. And then it was all over. Just like that. It made me sad. I wanted to rush home to continue reading. So I did.
Although I know that I am a pretty quick reader, I do have an outside life to tend to that will not allow me to sit and read 24-7. I have to work. And eat. And pay attention to Tortilla Face and my friends and family. So now, I have to play hooky with these books. I will sneak them in as much as I can. I will take them to work and read during lunch. I will prop it open and read a couple of pages and head back to work. I will take it to the gym and open it while I run my daily miles. I will read as I wait for my dinner to be cooked. And when Tortilla Face sleeps, I will read. That is pretty bad huh?
Let me explain my problem. Reading is a bit of an obsession for me. Reading a good book helps feed the obsession. Reading a great book makes the obsession lethal. Reading a great book that is about vampires is an orgasm after another (ok that might be a bit much, but you get the point). I get so engrossed by the characters and the story that I secretly wish that I was part of them. I get so involved that when I finish the book, I feel a bit of emptiness. So I rush to the next book and the next until there is no more. This is where I am right now. Wishing that Edward would run to me and take me instead of Bella. She's too pale anyways.
My only negativity - the book is 425.3 times better. I am a Harry Potter fan. And the Potter movies did the books justice. The movies flowed. This movie on the other hand, left out a lot of great parts and included parts that in my opinion - we could do with out. I asked Tortilla Face what he thought about the movie since he had not read the book and he said "there wasn't enough fighting. but the movie was ok." so it was settled, I was too much of a critic.
So here I am admitting defeat. I had said I was not going to follow the trend, yet I have now managed to post a long blog about the book. and now I will have to end this blog so that I can continue to read the book (in secret of course, I am at work).
so people, if you see me missing for a while it's not that I do not care. I just don't care unless your name is Edward or Bella.
enjoy the silence-
Cin
I didn't open them though. While in Vegas, they became an extra bag with four heavy books that I had to carry around. As a matter of fact, when I got home that is just what they remained. Four heavy books in a box of other books from my collection. I kept telling myself that I would get to them, but something would always come up... like preparations for my sister's wedding and such. And then the movie came out. Now it just seemed like if it was pointless to read them. The books had become a trend and I tried to convince myself that I did not want to be part of that trend.
But this weekend - all of that went out the window. Mr. Tortilla Face left me on Saturday to go see Notre Dame get spanked by USC. I decided to stay home and chill. I knew that I was either going to sit and watch movies, sit online and listen to music, or read a book. I decided to pick up Twilight and read. So there I was Saturday night, I had just finished rocking out on RockBand, it was about 8pm, and I started to read.
I finished the book the following day at 4:15pm. holy crap I was hooked. I became a freakin' twilighter. So of course, being the dramatic person that I am - I rushed to take a shower and as soon as I got out it was Tortilla Face's turn to get out of bed and do the same. While he showered I started reading New Moon. Two chapters later, we head out to the movies.
I will admit one thing about this book - it was great. The way she writes makes it quite easy to follow along and keep reading. The story itself is my kind of story. Edward is a freakin' vampire and something inside of me has always had an attraction for these beings. Always. To me vampires=sex. If I could come back as anything it would be as a vampire. I would have to be beautiful of course. And whomever my mate was would have to be the most beautiful creature anyone had ever seen. All the others would want him, but it did not matter because he would only have eyes for me.... do you see my obsession? So when I sat there waiting for the previews to flash, I got nervous. I was really nervous to see if they would do justice to the book and the excellent story-telling. And then it started.
Being the analytical person that I am (and the fact that I had just finished reading the book), I realized that a lot of my favorite parts of this book had been omitted from the movie. And a lot of parts that had nothing to do with the book were included. I actually sat in the theater annoyed. I made the best of it and watched as the two characters interacted. I pictured them in my head like I usually do when I read. The actors could not have been chosen better. And then it was all over. Just like that. It made me sad. I wanted to rush home to continue reading. So I did.
Although I know that I am a pretty quick reader, I do have an outside life to tend to that will not allow me to sit and read 24-7. I have to work. And eat. And pay attention to Tortilla Face and my friends and family. So now, I have to play hooky with these books. I will sneak them in as much as I can. I will take them to work and read during lunch. I will prop it open and read a couple of pages and head back to work. I will take it to the gym and open it while I run my daily miles. I will read as I wait for my dinner to be cooked. And when Tortilla Face sleeps, I will read. That is pretty bad huh?
Let me explain my problem. Reading is a bit of an obsession for me. Reading a good book helps feed the obsession. Reading a great book makes the obsession lethal. Reading a great book that is about vampires is an orgasm after another (ok that might be a bit much, but you get the point). I get so engrossed by the characters and the story that I secretly wish that I was part of them. I get so involved that when I finish the book, I feel a bit of emptiness. So I rush to the next book and the next until there is no more. This is where I am right now. Wishing that Edward would run to me and take me instead of Bella. She's too pale anyways.
My only negativity - the book is 425.3 times better. I am a Harry Potter fan. And the Potter movies did the books justice. The movies flowed. This movie on the other hand, left out a lot of great parts and included parts that in my opinion - we could do with out. I asked Tortilla Face what he thought about the movie since he had not read the book and he said "there wasn't enough fighting. but the movie was ok." so it was settled, I was too much of a critic.
So here I am admitting defeat. I had said I was not going to follow the trend, yet I have now managed to post a long blog about the book. and now I will have to end this blog so that I can continue to read the book (in secret of course, I am at work).
so people, if you see me missing for a while it's not that I do not care. I just don't care unless your name is Edward or Bella.
enjoy the silence-
Cin
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
lame
so pretty much I had this post all nice and done and my computer decided to take a crap on me last night. so instead of typing it all up again, I went to sleep. It has been a long time since I have gone to sleep before 11pm. I woke up this morning all chinky-eyed.
so now a new post
my thoughts from yesterday are simply just that... thoughts of another day. so this blog will most likely be random, but consider it an update if you may.
I have been so busy these days. what with my sister's wedding, her shower, bachelorette party, and my family coming down, as well as soccer and football games - I have not had a lot of time for me. so here is Cin time.
my sister and her family came down last Friday. It was SO good seeing them again. I learned a lot of things from this visit of theirs. some of it I am still unsure of and I am still figuring out. but for the most part, it felt so good seeing them once more. I love my nephews. I know that once I have my own that my attention will be headed my kids' way. But the love I have for my nephews will never be replaced. They really mean a lot to me.
my sister's shower - well let's just say that I dreamt of it differently. I am never satisfied, and I think that is just the Capricorn in me. I like things to be perfect and try to do a lot of it on my own. Sometimes, (especially for party events) it is best to get as much help as possible to avoid unwanted headaches. Now I know for her baby shower! Not that she plans on having kids any time soon - but just in case =)
as for her bachelorette party, it was fun. like seriously, I was a bit apprehensive at first because I was unsure as to how people might take it or react. But I am glad that I chose to enjoy the night away with the ladies like I did. We all had a LOT of fun. Especially my sister.
this Sunday I went to the MLS cup (Columbus vs New York). let me tell you that it was kind of boring. but sitting with the LA Riot Squad section is always a blast. They made the time fly by much faster. One of my favorite parts was when they all broke down into a techno dance when one of the teams scored a goal and the stadium blasted a techno tune. Hilarious.
I have not seen JZ in a while. Our schedules have not criss-crossed. We will though... eventually. I miss JZ.
On the other hand, I have seen a lot more of my other bff BelBivDevoe. We had brunch with another friend. She came to my sister's shower. We've had long conversations about stuff that I cannot remember, but I do remember laughing.
My nephew asked me this weekend "Tia Cindy, do you remember Chiquis?" I swear that I could have cried. Instead I smiled and told him "yes, of course I do. why?" and he replied with, "she used to be my friend." If only he knew that she used to be my friend too...
enjoy the silence folks...
-Cin
so now a new post
my thoughts from yesterday are simply just that... thoughts of another day. so this blog will most likely be random, but consider it an update if you may.
I have been so busy these days. what with my sister's wedding, her shower, bachelorette party, and my family coming down, as well as soccer and football games - I have not had a lot of time for me. so here is Cin time.
my sister and her family came down last Friday. It was SO good seeing them again. I learned a lot of things from this visit of theirs. some of it I am still unsure of and I am still figuring out. but for the most part, it felt so good seeing them once more. I love my nephews. I know that once I have my own that my attention will be headed my kids' way. But the love I have for my nephews will never be replaced. They really mean a lot to me.
my sister's shower - well let's just say that I dreamt of it differently. I am never satisfied, and I think that is just the Capricorn in me. I like things to be perfect and try to do a lot of it on my own. Sometimes, (especially for party events) it is best to get as much help as possible to avoid unwanted headaches. Now I know for her baby shower! Not that she plans on having kids any time soon - but just in case =)
as for her bachelorette party, it was fun. like seriously, I was a bit apprehensive at first because I was unsure as to how people might take it or react. But I am glad that I chose to enjoy the night away with the ladies like I did. We all had a LOT of fun. Especially my sister.
this Sunday I went to the MLS cup (Columbus vs New York). let me tell you that it was kind of boring. but sitting with the LA Riot Squad section is always a blast. They made the time fly by much faster. One of my favorite parts was when they all broke down into a techno dance when one of the teams scored a goal and the stadium blasted a techno tune. Hilarious.
I have not seen JZ in a while. Our schedules have not criss-crossed. We will though... eventually. I miss JZ.
On the other hand, I have seen a lot more of my other bff BelBivDevoe. We had brunch with another friend. She came to my sister's shower. We've had long conversations about stuff that I cannot remember, but I do remember laughing.
My nephew asked me this weekend "Tia Cindy, do you remember Chiquis?" I swear that I could have cried. Instead I smiled and told him "yes, of course I do. why?" and he replied with, "she used to be my friend." If only he knew that she used to be my friend too...
enjoy the silence folks...
-Cin
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
copy.cat
I am about to copycat JZ and post a blog.
sad to say - I have nothing to say. I just wanted to be a copy cat. and be like JZ.
so JZ. here's to me being like you.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
sad to say - I have nothing to say. I just wanted to be a copy cat. and be like JZ.
so JZ. here's to me being like you.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Friday, November 7, 2008
I have a headache
and it has a name. tortilla face.
last night my headache was all about tortilla face. and it made me go to sleep aching and hurting. some things are best left unsaid. this is one of them.
and although this headache has slightly gone away... lil' surfer has resurfaced this headache of mine by being himself.
ah lil' surfer. what can I say about this one to make him look good??? actually, he is kind of full of himself and probably does not need me to boost his ego. that same ego is making this throbbing in my head throb more and more by the minute.
boys
you know, they are very easy to comprehend. they are not complicated creatures. but they sometimes think that they have to do certain things or avoid saying certain things so that us ladies do not get bothered, and it makes things worse. because we just want them to TALK. we just want an opinion. we don't want to always hear "I don't care babe. whatever you want is ok with me." or "I'm not gonna force you guys to do anything you don't want to do. we can do what you want. I don't care." JUST CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is all we want. at the same time, I think to myself... self: do you really want the gentlemen in your life to be that in tune with your every need and your every desire? and not so much to be so much in tune... but to FULLY understand your emotions, and your actions, and your everything? Wouldn't it be tooo much like Will & Grace?
I don't want a Will & Grace kind of relationship with either of these headaches. I just don't want the headaches to throb so much. They make me sleepy.
ahhh. one of these days.
I'm not sure what I am going to do one of these days... but I hope that one of these days something will change.
like when Bush leaves - that will be a day with one less headache.
enjoy your weekend folks. I have a STAR WARS party to enjoy tomorrow. yay. I am looking forward to good times.
enjoy the silence.
-Cin
last night my headache was all about tortilla face. and it made me go to sleep aching and hurting. some things are best left unsaid. this is one of them.
and although this headache has slightly gone away... lil' surfer has resurfaced this headache of mine by being himself.
ah lil' surfer. what can I say about this one to make him look good??? actually, he is kind of full of himself and probably does not need me to boost his ego. that same ego is making this throbbing in my head throb more and more by the minute.
boys
you know, they are very easy to comprehend. they are not complicated creatures. but they sometimes think that they have to do certain things or avoid saying certain things so that us ladies do not get bothered, and it makes things worse. because we just want them to TALK. we just want an opinion. we don't want to always hear "I don't care babe. whatever you want is ok with me." or "I'm not gonna force you guys to do anything you don't want to do. we can do what you want. I don't care." JUST CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is all we want. at the same time, I think to myself... self: do you really want the gentlemen in your life to be that in tune with your every need and your every desire? and not so much to be so much in tune... but to FULLY understand your emotions, and your actions, and your everything? Wouldn't it be tooo much like Will & Grace?
I don't want a Will & Grace kind of relationship with either of these headaches. I just don't want the headaches to throb so much. They make me sleepy.
ahhh. one of these days.
I'm not sure what I am going to do one of these days... but I hope that one of these days something will change.
like when Bush leaves - that will be a day with one less headache.
enjoy your weekend folks. I have a STAR WARS party to enjoy tomorrow. yay. I am looking forward to good times.
enjoy the silence.
-Cin
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
make yourself aware
the time to vote is here.
a new era will start today, whether it be Obama's or McCain's.
this is your chance to be part of this new era.
being a Californian, and most importantly, an American citizen - I exercise my right to vote. Here are some links that I used in making my decisions on the propositions out there, as well as the candidates. Hopefully they will help you out --
whatever the results might be, just remember this... the Bush era will finally be over. and that on its own should bring a smile to your face.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
a new era will start today, whether it be Obama's or McCain's.
this is your chance to be part of this new era.
being a Californian, and most importantly, an American citizen - I exercise my right to vote. Here are some links that I used in making my decisions on the propositions out there, as well as the candidates. Hopefully they will help you out --
whatever the results might be, just remember this... the Bush era will finally be over. and that on its own should bring a smile to your face.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Friday, October 31, 2008
happy halloweenie
I used to really love Halloween. And then I met Mr. Tortilla Face... and it all went to hell. now I am quite cynical about it just like I am about most holidays.
but this year... I wanted it to be different. I wanted to go out and enjoy myself like the previous years. I had ideas. so many of them.
and then I came to work... after 9 hours of this, I need an energy boost. man I am getting old. all I feel like doing is going home and napping!
to those out there that still have the will, and the money, and the energy to enjoy the day - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! have fun on my behalf. trick or treat for me. be a naughty nurse for me!
on another note - some people make me wonder. I wish that they were more sincere. wouldn't it be a nicer place to live in if people were just upfront? then I wouldn't have to sit here and wonder. instead people play games. they decide to keep things from others with the excuse of not wanting to hurt their feelings.
I refuse to elaborate on this. I don't want to rant today. and I don't want to ruin any one's mood. so carry on with the trick and treating.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
but this year... I wanted it to be different. I wanted to go out and enjoy myself like the previous years. I had ideas. so many of them.
and then I came to work... after 9 hours of this, I need an energy boost. man I am getting old. all I feel like doing is going home and napping!
to those out there that still have the will, and the money, and the energy to enjoy the day - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! have fun on my behalf. trick or treat for me. be a naughty nurse for me!
on another note - some people make me wonder. I wish that they were more sincere. wouldn't it be a nicer place to live in if people were just upfront? then I wouldn't have to sit here and wonder. instead people play games. they decide to keep things from others with the excuse of not wanting to hurt their feelings.
I refuse to elaborate on this. I don't want to rant today. and I don't want to ruin any one's mood. so carry on with the trick and treating.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Thursday, October 30, 2008
pretty much.. shut up
anyone that knows me pretty much knows that I have a strong opinion about things. and if you give me a chance, I will express it. if you ask for an explanation, I will give it to you. fully. I tell my stories with more words than needed so that you have the best image of it running through your head.
having said that... lately, I have cringed at the thought of having to start a conversation with others about the coming election. I try to avoid conversations in which I am going to be asked who and what I am voting on. I would rather vomit.
I follow the news for the most part. I try to keep up with politics, at least what appeals to me. I do my research so that I can have my own opinion and not sound like a complete ass when I engage in a conversation related to what is current in the world of politics. but lately, it seems to be that EVERYONE has an opinion. now please, do not get me wrong on this I think it's great that people have their own opinions and want to express them. Its great that a lot of people are willing to talk about this election. I love conversations. that is .... conversations with substance. So of course, being a natural conversationalist, I start asking questions so that I can figure out why they have certain opinions.
this is where it gets sad. and annoying. and oh so irritating.
I get a big d'oh from most of them. I have found that a lot of people are influenced by the television and by their peers on what to think and how to vote in this election. this is all ok. I understand that sometimes the television is the only source out there for some people in finding out what is going on outside of their daily life. I get that sometimes you only find out about current events if others relay this information to you. I do not see a problem with this. but I do have a problem when they base their opinion on this solely.
through some of the conversations that I have chosen to be part of, I have noticed that most people do not really understand what is going on with some of the propositions, or how the candidates feel about certain issues. they are simply taking in what the mighty television set tells them, and are not really taking the time to educate themselves. they have become a mass group of repeaters. everything they hear, they repeat. but when asked to elaborate, they are stumped. they either rant at me irrationally and try to shove their ideas and choices at me simply because. or they pretend something else has suddenly become much more interesting to talk about. and that just irritates me. how am I supposed to have a conversation with a robot?
this mass of repeaters has caused great disappointment in my eyes. this, like all elections, is so important. people should really take the time to educate themselves when making their decisions. and not just go along with the flow.
since I do not have any control over people and the way they act, I have chosen to savor silence, love it. cherish it. enjoy it. relish in it. (my ipod has come in quite handy lately) I have learned to nod. smile. and pretty much not say anything about what I think unless I see that the conversation is heading on the right path. (you know, the one that does not cross bullshit lane or ignorant ave).
so lately, when people come up to me and start the conversation with "you better vote for Obama!" or when they ask "you're voting on Prop 8 right?" I tend to throw up in mouth just a little bit. I hesitate in telling people what I am voting on. I do not shove it down their throats. Instead, I am more prone to give people information on websites on how they can educate themselves on the propositions. I encourage them to get out there and simply vote. That is what is important.
so folks. educate yourselves. vote. and please do not insert foot in mouth when carrying a conversation regarding this coming election. and if you do not have any power over this, converse with someone else.
for now, I shall, enjoy the silence -
Cin
having said that... lately, I have cringed at the thought of having to start a conversation with others about the coming election. I try to avoid conversations in which I am going to be asked who and what I am voting on. I would rather vomit.
I follow the news for the most part. I try to keep up with politics, at least what appeals to me. I do my research so that I can have my own opinion and not sound like a complete ass when I engage in a conversation related to what is current in the world of politics. but lately, it seems to be that EVERYONE has an opinion. now please, do not get me wrong on this I think it's great that people have their own opinions and want to express them. Its great that a lot of people are willing to talk about this election. I love conversations. that is .... conversations with substance. So of course, being a natural conversationalist, I start asking questions so that I can figure out why they have certain opinions.
this is where it gets sad. and annoying. and oh so irritating.
I get a big d'oh from most of them. I have found that a lot of people are influenced by the television and by their peers on what to think and how to vote in this election. this is all ok. I understand that sometimes the television is the only source out there for some people in finding out what is going on outside of their daily life. I get that sometimes you only find out about current events if others relay this information to you. I do not see a problem with this. but I do have a problem when they base their opinion on this solely.
through some of the conversations that I have chosen to be part of, I have noticed that most people do not really understand what is going on with some of the propositions, or how the candidates feel about certain issues. they are simply taking in what the mighty television set tells them, and are not really taking the time to educate themselves. they have become a mass group of repeaters. everything they hear, they repeat. but when asked to elaborate, they are stumped. they either rant at me irrationally and try to shove their ideas and choices at me simply because. or they pretend something else has suddenly become much more interesting to talk about. and that just irritates me. how am I supposed to have a conversation with a robot?
this mass of repeaters has caused great disappointment in my eyes. this, like all elections, is so important. people should really take the time to educate themselves when making their decisions. and not just go along with the flow.
since I do not have any control over people and the way they act, I have chosen to savor silence, love it. cherish it. enjoy it. relish in it. (my ipod has come in quite handy lately) I have learned to nod. smile. and pretty much not say anything about what I think unless I see that the conversation is heading on the right path. (you know, the one that does not cross bullshit lane or ignorant ave).
so lately, when people come up to me and start the conversation with "you better vote for Obama!" or when they ask "you're voting on Prop 8 right?" I tend to throw up in mouth just a little bit. I hesitate in telling people what I am voting on. I do not shove it down their throats. Instead, I am more prone to give people information on websites on how they can educate themselves on the propositions. I encourage them to get out there and simply vote. That is what is important.
so folks. educate yourselves. vote. and please do not insert foot in mouth when carrying a conversation regarding this coming election. and if you do not have any power over this, converse with someone else.
for now, I shall, enjoy the silence -
Cin
Friday, October 24, 2008
hello weekend
I missed you so much.
I think I am catching a cold. Maybe I just need rest. Sunday I slept late - which meant that my body got used to late sleeping - which meant that each night this week I have slept late, and gotten up in a hurry. Can you tell by now that I am a woman that always has a battle with sleep! I just need one night of some GOOOD sleep and I should be ok. if that does not help then that means that I just might get a cold. orange juice.
on to other things...
I know that I am an emotional person. I know that I think and react with my heart first before reason. As the years have passed by, I have learned to stop myself from reacting automatically and think things through. I react now with my heart and my mind. I know that I have improved on that part.
BUT (there is always a but)
sometimes, I just react like a girl normally would. my feelings get hurt. I question myself. I sulk. I can't say that I do not like this part about me as it is part of being a girl. I just hate feeling down. I am one that fully commits, so when something bothers me... it really bothers me. It usually takes a bit to distract me and to get me out of that hole. These are usually the moments that I decide to blog - when I am angry, upset, down, stressed. I cannot pretend my life is peachy 24.7. And I don't need to blog about all of the great things that do take place in my life because it would seem too plastic. So please do not think that I am gloomy, and depressing, and crying, and angry 100% of the time. I do think that it is good to get hurt sometimes. SOMETIMES!!!! I think those moments make you stronger. They open your eyes and make you realize that the sky is not always blue and the grass is not always green.
so for the days when I am down - thank you. You give me great writing material. And for the days when I am happy - thank you. they help me get through the hard days.
and now back to the weekend. I've missed you so.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
I think I am catching a cold. Maybe I just need rest. Sunday I slept late - which meant that my body got used to late sleeping - which meant that each night this week I have slept late, and gotten up in a hurry. Can you tell by now that I am a woman that always has a battle with sleep! I just need one night of some GOOOD sleep and I should be ok. if that does not help then that means that I just might get a cold. orange juice.
on to other things...
I know that I am an emotional person. I know that I think and react with my heart first before reason. As the years have passed by, I have learned to stop myself from reacting automatically and think things through. I react now with my heart and my mind. I know that I have improved on that part.
BUT (there is always a but)
sometimes, I just react like a girl normally would. my feelings get hurt. I question myself. I sulk. I can't say that I do not like this part about me as it is part of being a girl. I just hate feeling down. I am one that fully commits, so when something bothers me... it really bothers me. It usually takes a bit to distract me and to get me out of that hole. These are usually the moments that I decide to blog - when I am angry, upset, down, stressed. I cannot pretend my life is peachy 24.7. And I don't need to blog about all of the great things that do take place in my life because it would seem too plastic. So please do not think that I am gloomy, and depressing, and crying, and angry 100% of the time. I do think that it is good to get hurt sometimes. SOMETIMES!!!! I think those moments make you stronger. They open your eyes and make you realize that the sky is not always blue and the grass is not always green.
so for the days when I am down - thank you. You give me great writing material. And for the days when I am happy - thank you. they help me get through the hard days.
and now back to the weekend. I've missed you so.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
cat and mouse
ok so... to be fair... I know that I have been out of the dating game for a while now.
BUT
why do people (both male and female) insist on trying to follow the dating rules which were invented who knows how long ago by who knows who? why is it so hard to just be who you are and be upfront so that both know what they are getting themselves into from day one? I understand that at first people are apprehensive and have their guard up because they are at the "getting to know each other" phase, but sometimes people go a bit overboard with the rules. You have to wait 3 days before calling so that you do not seem so desperate. I don't know about you... but if a guy is really that attracted to me that he wants to call me the following day... he already won some brownie points in my book. The faster this guy calls me, the faster I can find out if he deserves those brownie points or not. instead many girls get excited that someone showed interest and asked for their number. and when he waits to call, the girl decides to sit and wait and try to remember all that was said the day they met. what were the last things said? why has it been so long? were they too eager to give out he number? and if the guy has called already and a couple of conversations have already been shared, the girl worries to death as to why he hasn't called all weekend? they try to figure out and come up with excuses as to why he was calling constantly before and now he just stopped! and they refuse to call or text because that would break one of the golden rules in which a girl should not be the one to look for the guy. he should come looking for her. bologna. I do not think this is true in all cases. like everything in life, there are exceptions! but this is part of the game that people play when dating. so unnecessary!
now do not get me wrong, I am a bit traditional in certain areas. I do believe that there are certain things that a guy, or should I say a gentleman, should do if he is interested. He should be the first to initiate a date. he should ask for your number. he should come pick you up. he should be the one to initiate a lot of things, but a girl should also show interest.
The modern Cin inside of me does not think that you should have to wait by the phone or the computer to see when he will make contact again. If you really want to know what he did for the weekend, initiate conversation. Too shy to say it over the phone? Too much of a rambler to type it up in an email? Make it short, sweet, and simple through a text. Hey! How was your weekend? instead, we end up questioning everything including ourselves. I know, this is part of being a girl. But come on now are we not the ones that claim to be so modern and independent nowadays??? why do we allow to get stuck in this game and web of rules? why are we still hesitant to go for what or who we want? I am not saying to go out and become a princess warrior; slaying all other females that get in your way of you and your man. and I am definitely NOT saying to become Miss Clingy of the year and text/call/email constantly.
I am just saying be yourself. Let him fall in love with you. Be a rebel without a cause and stop following those rules religiously. Just be a person that is interested in another person. Allow yourself to find a friend first before a lover. That is how you find Mr. Right (in my opinion). Now if you are lookin for Mr. Tonight/Booty Call/ Quick Fix disregard this post completely. This does NOT apply to you.
Maybe its easier said than done since I have not dated in a while. I just find a lot of the modern rules to be too traditional. You have to find the middle ground in order for it to be just right.
having said all of that, I sure am glad I have tortilla face. the Cin of today would probably be driven to pure madness if I had to go back to dating.
BUT
why do people (both male and female) insist on trying to follow the dating rules which were invented who knows how long ago by who knows who? why is it so hard to just be who you are and be upfront so that both know what they are getting themselves into from day one? I understand that at first people are apprehensive and have their guard up because they are at the "getting to know each other" phase, but sometimes people go a bit overboard with the rules. You have to wait 3 days before calling so that you do not seem so desperate. I don't know about you... but if a guy is really that attracted to me that he wants to call me the following day... he already won some brownie points in my book. The faster this guy calls me, the faster I can find out if he deserves those brownie points or not. instead many girls get excited that someone showed interest and asked for their number. and when he waits to call, the girl decides to sit and wait and try to remember all that was said the day they met. what were the last things said? why has it been so long? were they too eager to give out he number? and if the guy has called already and a couple of conversations have already been shared, the girl worries to death as to why he hasn't called all weekend? they try to figure out and come up with excuses as to why he was calling constantly before and now he just stopped! and they refuse to call or text because that would break one of the golden rules in which a girl should not be the one to look for the guy. he should come looking for her. bologna. I do not think this is true in all cases. like everything in life, there are exceptions! but this is part of the game that people play when dating. so unnecessary!
now do not get me wrong, I am a bit traditional in certain areas. I do believe that there are certain things that a guy, or should I say a gentleman, should do if he is interested. He should be the first to initiate a date. he should ask for your number. he should come pick you up. he should be the one to initiate a lot of things, but a girl should also show interest.
The modern Cin inside of me does not think that you should have to wait by the phone or the computer to see when he will make contact again. If you really want to know what he did for the weekend, initiate conversation. Too shy to say it over the phone? Too much of a rambler to type it up in an email? Make it short, sweet, and simple through a text. Hey! How was your weekend? instead, we end up questioning everything including ourselves. I know, this is part of being a girl. But come on now are we not the ones that claim to be so modern and independent nowadays??? why do we allow to get stuck in this game and web of rules? why are we still hesitant to go for what or who we want? I am not saying to go out and become a princess warrior; slaying all other females that get in your way of you and your man. and I am definitely NOT saying to become Miss Clingy of the year and text/call/email constantly.
I am just saying be yourself. Let him fall in love with you. Be a rebel without a cause and stop following those rules religiously. Just be a person that is interested in another person. Allow yourself to find a friend first before a lover. That is how you find Mr. Right (in my opinion). Now if you are lookin for Mr. Tonight/Booty Call/ Quick Fix disregard this post completely. This does NOT apply to you.
Maybe its easier said than done since I have not dated in a while. I just find a lot of the modern rules to be too traditional. You have to find the middle ground in order for it to be just right.
having said all of that, I sure am glad I have tortilla face. the Cin of today would probably be driven to pure madness if I had to go back to dating.
.Disney.
.spooky. 
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Monday, October 20, 2008
here I am again on my own
my brain looks like putty today. how do I know this? because my hairline told me so.
apparently I am old now. I stay out past midnight and wake up the following day at 6am... and it feels as if though my body has been stepped on by a sumo wrestler. and my brain is just as smashed and worthless. and of course, I have the bright idea of going out and staying out late on a Sunday night... so here it is Monday. Cin with a worthless brain and a worn out body.
at least yesterday was fun. Disneyland. you can never go wrong with Disney. and tortilla face of course. you mix those two together and its heaven =)
am I really getting that old?
yes, I am definitely having a moment. I used to be able to do all of this and some. Last weekend I went out with the girls, I got home past 3am. Woke up the next day around 8am. Did some flower girl's shopping (not my wedding, my sister's). Walked around with 3 little girls... that talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. Came home to do... actually I forgot what I did. But the thing is I was in bed by 9pm. Sleeping by 10ish. My body was slightly upset that I had deprived it of its resting time. And now yesterday I do this again. so here I am again.. lagging.
I think my body is definitely used to its usual routine of my Monday-Friday. Work. Gym. Home. Shower. Sleep. When I throw something in there that throws off the routine.. my body goes on strike. I tell myself that its not age. Its just the wheels that make my day go round and round. Those wheels do not enjoy an occasional wrench being thrown in there. They like the consistency. Age has nothing to do with it. (or at least that is what I tell myself).
well whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore. I just have to get going. stop yawning. and get through the day. If I can make it through work, the rest of the day will be fine.
I have to get used to the occasional wrench disrupting my routine, because I recently looked at my calendar and realized that I have some VERY busy weekends coming up, especially in November... and December. so the young girl in me better wake up and help me out here or else I will have to resort to a case of Monsters.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
apparently I am old now. I stay out past midnight and wake up the following day at 6am... and it feels as if though my body has been stepped on by a sumo wrestler. and my brain is just as smashed and worthless. and of course, I have the bright idea of going out and staying out late on a Sunday night... so here it is Monday. Cin with a worthless brain and a worn out body.
at least yesterday was fun. Disneyland. you can never go wrong with Disney. and tortilla face of course. you mix those two together and its heaven =)
am I really getting that old?
yes, I am definitely having a moment. I used to be able to do all of this and some. Last weekend I went out with the girls, I got home past 3am. Woke up the next day around 8am. Did some flower girl's shopping (not my wedding, my sister's). Walked around with 3 little girls... that talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. Came home to do... actually I forgot what I did. But the thing is I was in bed by 9pm. Sleeping by 10ish. My body was slightly upset that I had deprived it of its resting time. And now yesterday I do this again. so here I am again.. lagging.
I think my body is definitely used to its usual routine of my Monday-Friday. Work. Gym. Home. Shower. Sleep. When I throw something in there that throws off the routine.. my body goes on strike. I tell myself that its not age. Its just the wheels that make my day go round and round. Those wheels do not enjoy an occasional wrench being thrown in there. They like the consistency. Age has nothing to do with it. (or at least that is what I tell myself).
well whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore. I just have to get going. stop yawning. and get through the day. If I can make it through work, the rest of the day will be fine.
I have to get used to the occasional wrench disrupting my routine, because I recently looked at my calendar and realized that I have some VERY busy weekends coming up, especially in November... and December. so the young girl in me better wake up and help me out here or else I will have to resort to a case of Monsters.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Thursday, October 16, 2008
TAG! you are so it.
I have been tagged by the one and only Confessions of a Shop Girl !
Here are the Rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is UP.
******************************************************
1. I am totally fascinated with serial killers, mental folk, vampires (not sure if they exist, but sometimes they do in my mind). I am not necessarily fascinated with the act itself, the truth of the matter is that all of the gore and blood grosses me out. I am more interested in their mental state. What would drive them to do what they do? This is the part of me that likes to pick things (mostly minds) apart.
2. I love to dip my McDonald fries in my McFlurry. It grosses the hell outta my sister, but I love it.
3. Sometimes I feel like the middle child although there are 4 of us and I am number 2 in line. I definitely resent this. I still love my family above all even though there is some angst there.
4. I CANNOT stand most people. If I just met you, I give you a chance. But if you mess up once... you can pretty much count me out. My tolerance level has gone way down because I have ran across some really stupid people. and yes, I know that it is unfair to stereotype and group all. But I think my friend meter is full, and I don't care much for giving people many chances. Now if you were to blow me away (not literally), then how can I possibly say no?
5. I believe in God. I have faith. I just do not believe in what the church has turned into now. This includes all churches. This does not mean that I think religion is bad. I just do not like what the organization part of hte church itself has done to it. I usually keep this to myself because I know that it is a touchy subject. I do not feel like arguing about this with others as we are all entitled to live how we want, plus I hate losing arguments... so we might either argue forever. hate each other. or the argument might end in blood shed. (see number 1 above, as this is where I would most likely get ideas from)
6. I have heard by many recently that it seems that I argue a lot with tortilla face. I promise you that this is not the case. our personalities just make it seem that way. we come across as smart asses, shit talkers, with lack of emotion. when in reality, my heart skips a beat when I see him. we get along extremely well and if we do argue, we solve it then and there. or at least he solves it, because I'm never wrong =)
******************************************************
and now it's my turn to tag, randomly:
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
and Cin said... let there be floor, and the mess parted and floor existed.
let me start this blog out by saying ... FUCK!!!!!!.....
I had already typed out my blog and I pressed some buttons to start the format part of blogging and my WHOLE entry was erased into thin air. in true words of my brother "tight."
last night I came home, came into my room and noticed that it was a mess. and I am not talking about an ordinary mess. this was horrible. I think that I must have been so stressed out because of work because when I saw the mess, all I could be was upset. I was so upset that I asked my cousin Sophia "if you clean my room and wash my clothes, I will pay you a shiny penny." I actually thought it was a great idea. She is unemployed, lacks in funds. I am sooo employed that I never have time to come home and do the simple things. I usually leave it to the weekends, but lately.. I don't have time then either. So my room had become an accumulation of clothes, both clean and dirty, shoes, tupperware (clean ones), purses, herbalife, water bottles galore, and dust. I figured that I needed help in the cleaning department so that I can catch up to my normal life... and she could use the money.
unfortunately, for me and her, the neurotic Cin did not allow anyone else to try to clean my room to their taste. things had to be done my way or else I would not have been satisfied. So I forced myself to get up and clean. I will not lie, she did help me out. Especially with moral support and in the end I did throw some perfume samples as well Victorias Secret lotions and sprays her way (she was going to smell delish before heading to bed with all of the samples she had sprayed on herself). But for the most part it was all me. I washed clothes. organized shoes. put purses in one location only. changed my bed sheets. hung up clothes. folded clothes. swept. dusted. put change in one location and ONE location only. when I was done... I felt so accomplished. My back was killing me, but man I could see my bedroom floor. Actually, I could see a LOT of it.
After all was said and done... it was a bit past midnight. I was exhausted. At the time it did not matter though. I was so proud of myself that my throbbing back and my tired eyes would just have to suck it up.
And now what to do so that it stays this way. I could just hire my cousin to be my personal cleaning lady/ assistant and go insane each time I notice that she folded my shirts wrong. Or that she placed my soccer jerseys next to my work shirts. Or I could just make the extra effort to do it myself. In all honesty, I cannot stand things out of place. And although work is important, I need to find time for myself and my room so that I do not add unnecessary stress to my life. Trust me, my room would have stressed anyone out.
So that is the plan. Make sure that no matter how busy I might be... that I find time to do the things that make day to day life that much more pleasant (and cleaner), especially in a place like my bedroom. That is the one place I should be able to go to and just RELAX. so there goes a personal goal. and I am looking forward to keeping it.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
I had already typed out my blog and I pressed some buttons to start the format part of blogging and my WHOLE entry was erased into thin air. in true words of my brother "tight."
last night I came home, came into my room and noticed that it was a mess. and I am not talking about an ordinary mess. this was horrible. I think that I must have been so stressed out because of work because when I saw the mess, all I could be was upset. I was so upset that I asked my cousin Sophia "if you clean my room and wash my clothes, I will pay you a shiny penny." I actually thought it was a great idea. She is unemployed, lacks in funds. I am sooo employed that I never have time to come home and do the simple things. I usually leave it to the weekends, but lately.. I don't have time then either. So my room had become an accumulation of clothes, both clean and dirty, shoes, tupperware (clean ones), purses, herbalife, water bottles galore, and dust. I figured that I needed help in the cleaning department so that I can catch up to my normal life... and she could use the money.
unfortunately, for me and her, the neurotic Cin did not allow anyone else to try to clean my room to their taste. things had to be done my way or else I would not have been satisfied. So I forced myself to get up and clean. I will not lie, she did help me out. Especially with moral support and in the end I did throw some perfume samples as well Victorias Secret lotions and sprays her way (she was going to smell delish before heading to bed with all of the samples she had sprayed on herself). But for the most part it was all me. I washed clothes. organized shoes. put purses in one location only. changed my bed sheets. hung up clothes. folded clothes. swept. dusted. put change in one location and ONE location only. when I was done... I felt so accomplished. My back was killing me, but man I could see my bedroom floor. Actually, I could see a LOT of it.
After all was said and done... it was a bit past midnight. I was exhausted. At the time it did not matter though. I was so proud of myself that my throbbing back and my tired eyes would just have to suck it up.
And now what to do so that it stays this way. I could just hire my cousin to be my personal cleaning lady/ assistant and go insane each time I notice that she folded my shirts wrong. Or that she placed my soccer jerseys next to my work shirts. Or I could just make the extra effort to do it myself. In all honesty, I cannot stand things out of place. And although work is important, I need to find time for myself and my room so that I do not add unnecessary stress to my life. Trust me, my room would have stressed anyone out.
So that is the plan. Make sure that no matter how busy I might be... that I find time to do the things that make day to day life that much more pleasant (and cleaner), especially in a place like my bedroom. That is the one place I should be able to go to and just RELAX. so there goes a personal goal. and I am looking forward to keeping it.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
enough is never enough
so it is now lunch time. a time for myself. a time to relax. a time to step back from work... and blog.
I have a couple of things I want to blog about, but I think that I am only going to blog briefly. I have a good lunch waiting for me and there really is no sense making it wait.
I have a couple of things I want to blog about, but I think that I am only going to blog briefly. I have a good lunch waiting for me and there really is no sense making it wait.
- so when is enough really finally enough? people get tired of situations. of people. of so many other things. and something inside of them does not allow them to separate themselves of those situations. or people, or whatever. instead they stick around. they're not happy. they put up with it. sick isn't it? why not just GO. separate. say fuck it? I guess we all come with different tolerance levels - but what will it really take for someone to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH?
- economy is garbage. or at least that is what I hear. and people are getting laid off. once more, its all hearsay. It has not happened to me (thankfully). Does that mean that no one is hiring? Does that mean that you kind of have to tolerate where you are currently employed and your current boss due to economy being so shitty? Is it fair for bosses to use that excuse... economy is bad right now, that is why we cannot give you a raise (or promotion)? and when does this excuse from your boss become old? which then leads me back to my first comment. when is ENOUGH really ENOUGH?
- is it fair to say that once a cheater... always a cheater? or once a liar... always a liar? (I am not talking about white lies either) how many chances should you give someone that keeps lying to you? how many times do you say "ok I will give our friendship/relationship another go," even though they keep playing the part over and over again? and how much time should you let go by before you give them another chance? how many times do they have to do you wrong before you say ENOUGH is ENOUGH?
- on another note, you can tell when a person is a good person because of the friendships that they maintain. if they can carry a friendship, then they are most likely able to succeed in other things in life. or at least have a positive attitude towards life. why?... because they are commited. because they are most likely understanding. because they do not give up and pull through. that does not mean that because you and I are not friends, that you are a bad person. It just means that we might not be compatible for each other. Or maybe we just haven't really tried.
- how many more years will it take for the Dodgers to make the playoffs? ok that was a low blow... they are technically still in. But man... can they just win already? it has been 20 freakin' years!!!!!!! Dodgers ask yourself... when is ENOUGH really ENOUGH?
on that note... I am off to lunch. JZ feel better =)
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Sunday, October 12, 2008
sunday. sunday.
ah it is Sunday. a day to relax. a day to enjoy the sun. a day to feel the cold wind in my hair. and my neck. and my feet. and my arms. my goodness the sun deceived me today. I woke up to sunshine.... once I went outside, the breeze laughed at me while it covered me from head to toe.
I think that I love and hate Sundays. I loooove Sundays because it is the perfect day to relax. I love just laying in bed and napping when I feel like it. put a good movie on. get under the comforter. and chill. the part that makes me cringe is when I remember that it is Sunday which means that a new work week will begin the following day.So although the bed sounds great. and an afternoon nap on the hammock is a dream... I have to get up to go run errands that will not be able to get done during the week.
ah Sundays.
so after this blog has been typed out and my thoughts are gathered... I will go straighten my hair (maybe keep it curly), get dressed. and run errands. the only good thing is that I have a soccer game today and it should be fun. or at least it will allow me to have time to forget that tomorrow is Monday.
so bloggers enjoy the silence this Sunday folks. wear socks today.
-Cin
I think that I love and hate Sundays. I loooove Sundays because it is the perfect day to relax. I love just laying in bed and napping when I feel like it. put a good movie on. get under the comforter. and chill. the part that makes me cringe is when I remember that it is Sunday which means that a new work week will begin the following day.So although the bed sounds great. and an afternoon nap on the hammock is a dream... I have to get up to go run errands that will not be able to get done during the week.
ah Sundays.
so after this blog has been typed out and my thoughts are gathered... I will go straighten my hair (maybe keep it curly), get dressed. and run errands. the only good thing is that I have a soccer game today and it should be fun. or at least it will allow me to have time to forget that tomorrow is Monday.
so bloggers enjoy the silence this Sunday folks. wear socks today.
-Cin
Thursday, October 9, 2008
word of the day
frustrated.
I put my heart into everything I do or am involved in. I give it my all. True, at times I slack... I am human. I have my moments. But for the most part, I have true intentions and set out to make the best out of what I do.
Work is also something I take seriously. And I put my all into.
Today I had to take a step back from work. I had to do something to vent. So here I am. Hands shaking in fury. Tears being held in. And frustration pouring out of my pores.
I want to stick up for myself, but I have had to stop myself. My thoughts are everywhere and I would only sound like a ranting fool. I can sound like this at home, but not at work. At work, I am supposed to NOT make excuses as to why I am behind. I am supposed to prioritize the big stuff, but kick out the small stuff. I am supposed to handle 5 things at once, and complete them at the same time. Oh, and lunch... what is that? Working 9-5... who gets that schedule?
Last night... I took these latest worries home with me. So I woke up this morning with a crooked neck, bad back, and a bad taste from the day before. my motivation is here, but its hidden in fear of the emails I might receive today.
With the economy being how it is, all of this worries me. With my boss being how he is, I worry that no one will stick up for me. With my other boss not knowing how it is, I feel like if I am up against a wall. So today, I just want to get through theday. Email fairies - please divert all BAD emails to nobody here.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
I put my heart into everything I do or am involved in. I give it my all. True, at times I slack... I am human. I have my moments. But for the most part, I have true intentions and set out to make the best out of what I do.
Work is also something I take seriously. And I put my all into.
Today I had to take a step back from work. I had to do something to vent. So here I am. Hands shaking in fury. Tears being held in. And frustration pouring out of my pores.
I want to stick up for myself, but I have had to stop myself. My thoughts are everywhere and I would only sound like a ranting fool. I can sound like this at home, but not at work. At work, I am supposed to NOT make excuses as to why I am behind. I am supposed to prioritize the big stuff, but kick out the small stuff. I am supposed to handle 5 things at once, and complete them at the same time. Oh, and lunch... what is that? Working 9-5... who gets that schedule?
Last night... I took these latest worries home with me. So I woke up this morning with a crooked neck, bad back, and a bad taste from the day before. my motivation is here, but its hidden in fear of the emails I might receive today.
With the economy being how it is, all of this worries me. With my boss being how he is, I worry that no one will stick up for me. With my other boss not knowing how it is, I feel like if I am up against a wall. So today, I just want to get through theday. Email fairies - please divert all BAD emails to nobody here.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
it never rains in southern california... sometimes I wish it would... or wouldn't
I swear this weather is driving me nuts. Do not get me wrong... I am not trying to complain. But I wish that the weather in California would make up its mind. Is it ready to switch into fall, or is it still stuck in summer? We have little hints of fall every now and then. Especially at nights. But just as soon as we get comfortable and start pulling out our version of winter clothing.... the blasting sun comes out to say hello.
Last Saturday we had rain. During the weekend when I finally get to enjoy the sunlight and the daytime... it decides to rain. So I get to enjoy my day indoors. It wasn't a complete drag , I got to pull out my UGG boots and enjoy the comfort. But now it's Tuesday... and I am back to flip flops.
This has to be bad for my body. I wonder if it gets confused wondering why it was shivering an hour ago and now there's sweat rolling down my back.
And let me tell you the damage it creates in my closet on a daily basis... When I wake up in the morning, early morning, I always look out the window to see what the weather will be like. Recently it looks as if though the day will be filled with clouds and dark skies. I try to get as warm as possible and start the layering process... and then the dreaded weather lady comes on to mock all of the wardrobe that I have piled on. Apparently, the weather will be changing from the 50's to the 90's during the day. Everything that was on will now be taken off and placed on the floor, my bed, the pile of clothes of from the day before.... anywhere but where it should be. And I get to figure out how I am going to layer my clothes so that I can take it off by the time I get to work. Even then, the AC is on full-blast at work so the sweater stays on. At least I have my disaster of a closet to look forward to arranging all over again. (major sarcasm there)
so yes, the weather here is great. and yes, I would never trade it for any other one. But it would be nice if it could send me a memo every now and then letting me know how I should plan my wardrobe for the following day. or at least a note saying "thanks for hanging in there... SUCKER!!!!"
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Last Saturday we had rain. During the weekend when I finally get to enjoy the sunlight and the daytime... it decides to rain. So I get to enjoy my day indoors. It wasn't a complete drag , I got to pull out my UGG boots and enjoy the comfort. But now it's Tuesday... and I am back to flip flops.
This has to be bad for my body. I wonder if it gets confused wondering why it was shivering an hour ago and now there's sweat rolling down my back.
And let me tell you the damage it creates in my closet on a daily basis... When I wake up in the morning, early morning, I always look out the window to see what the weather will be like. Recently it looks as if though the day will be filled with clouds and dark skies. I try to get as warm as possible and start the layering process... and then the dreaded weather lady comes on to mock all of the wardrobe that I have piled on. Apparently, the weather will be changing from the 50's to the 90's during the day. Everything that was on will now be taken off and placed on the floor, my bed, the pile of clothes of from the day before.... anywhere but where it should be. And I get to figure out how I am going to layer my clothes so that I can take it off by the time I get to work. Even then, the AC is on full-blast at work so the sweater stays on. At least I have my disaster of a closet to look forward to arranging all over again. (major sarcasm there)
so yes, the weather here is great. and yes, I would never trade it for any other one. But it would be nice if it could send me a memo every now and then letting me know how I should plan my wardrobe for the following day. or at least a note saying "thanks for hanging in there... SUCKER!!!!"
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Monday, October 6, 2008
enjoy the silence
In case you have not noticed, I always end my blogs with Enjoy the Silence and my name. And my accunt names usually are Savor Silence. And sometimes Savor Cin. So now you might ask, "Where did all of this come from?"
back in '96, I was barely getting into this new world out there called the Internet. I was so naive back then. I had creativity running through my bones, but was unsure of what name I wanted to be branded with. I was not aware that this is what people might remember you by. Hey, how are you doing sexybunny69? or even I haven't read any of your postings in a while latina4life! Sadly, I have run accross some of these names in my Internet days. I can admit that my names were not brilliant and definitely not thought out, but they were not that bad. One of my first names that I stuck with for a long time was "suprem*star." Yes, I intentionally left the "e" out of out supreme and would add the "*". I'm not sure where I came up with that, but I do remember that my friend Richie had something to do with it.
At first the names did not really bother me. Who cares if it wasn't all creative. I had started out on sites like livejournal, onchat, and of course, my AIM account. But then one day, my other friend, Jossie, gave me a better name... Cin Censura. (for those who do not speak Spanish - without censorship.) Cin fit in there perfectly, considering that that is my name. I started using this for my livejournal & my myspace account and really liked it. The name was not complicated, it was to the point, and the meaning behind it was perfect. But something did not feel right. I cannot explain it until this day, but it felt as if though it did not quite fit. Some might think, who cares? it's just a name! It had become more than just a name to me. People will remember my account name when they search me. When they befriend me. I wanted to have a name that said hello in a confident manner to the Internet world.
And finally one day, while listening to music, I came up with my name. I was updating my ipod while it played on shuffle mode. The first song to spark a light was Depeche Mode's Enjoy the Silence. It is definitely one of my favorite songs of theirs. I listened to the lyrics. Googled them. And said - this is it. And then the next song came on, Deftones Savory (Jawbox cover). Two of my favorite bands, two of my favorite songs. And this is where I decided to mix the songs up and come up with one title. Savor Silence. It has the same meaning as DM's song title, it just has different wording. It made me feel as if though I wasn't just stealing their creativity completely. Although I have to admit that a lot of my ideas come from songs. I am sure that I am not the only one out there that is constantly inspired by music.
Ever since then... that is the name that I have used. Now the name has taken a different purpose from when I first started using it. I like the thought of sometimes, silence is what we need in our constant busy lives. Silence is definitely found in the Internet world. Most of us, especially in our blogs, express ourselves through words or pictures. The words have meaning. The words can move you. They can create emotion. But it is all done through silence. No loud noise. No speeches heard through loud speakers or the television. Just words that fit together to move the heart and soul of anyone that is willing to take the time to read. The only sound heard is the writer's fingertips as they hit each key.
So enjoy the silence folks. Turn off the TV. Read a book. Read a blog. Turn off the sound of this hectic life we sometimes have and enjoy.
enjoy the silence
- Cin
Thursday, October 2, 2008
savor silence goes blog
in case you did not know... I am kinda new to this blog world. its not my 1st month in or anything of that sort. But I am still trying to remember that its here. And I am still finding out new things about how to use it.
One of the features that I started using is the Google Reader. I have found some awesome blogs on the Blogs of Note.
One of my recent finds and favorites is Clever Girl Goes Blog. This is such gooood reading. Tia is the mastermind behind some LOLs I have at work sometimes. Her writing is so personal that when I read it, it makes me feel as if though I am talking to one of my friends. In some cases, I feel as if though she is writing on my behalf. The way she puts words together makes it so easy to be part of whatever story she is telling. I really enjoy this type of writing.
Her most recent blog that I have enjoyed is the one where she pinpoints feelings, emotions, thoughts, and everything revolving your ex. I do not think I could have said it any better.
If you get a chance, check her out and sit back and enjoy some good reading. I know I've become a follower.
as for me, I have some work to finish up before I head out to my dinner date.
enjoy the silence -
Cin
One of the features that I started using is the Google Reader. I have found some awesome blogs on the Blogs of Note.
One of my recent finds and favorites is Clever Girl Goes Blog. This is such gooood reading. Tia is the mastermind behind some LOLs I have at work sometimes. Her writing is so personal that when I read it, it makes me feel as if though I am talking to one of my friends. In some cases, I feel as if though she is writing on my behalf. The way she puts words together makes it so easy to be part of whatever story she is telling. I really enjoy this type of writing.
Her most recent blog that I have enjoyed is the one where she pinpoints feelings, emotions, thoughts, and everything revolving your ex. I do not think I could have said it any better.
If you get a chance, check her out and sit back and enjoy some good reading. I know I've become a follower.
as for me, I have some work to finish up before I head out to my dinner date.
enjoy the silence -
Cin
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
with accomplishments come long nights
man oh man am I pooped. work has been hectic. I have to admit that I was slacking off a bit last week, and now it caught up to me. sometimes I come into the office and I just have zero motivation to get my day going. and sometimes... I want to make sure I leave everyone, especially myself impressed. This is the mood that I am in this week. And it has paid off. Although there is a lot of work and I have been working nonstop... I have accomplished much. I also noticed that I am not as stressed because I know that I am on a pace that allows me to complete what I have set out to accomplish to begin with. I guess its good that I am in this mood because I have to work this weekend. Personally, it does not bother me. I just might need a break after this week though.
on another note, I have accomplished yet another goal of mine. a personal one. it started out as being a vanity goal, and after my whole gall bladder surgery... it has turned into a health-related goal. and I am slowly but surely reaching my goal. I am so proud of myself... that I treated myself to a Hersheys bar. ok that kind of defeated part of my goal, but 1 won't hurt. plus aunt flow is coming soon, and my chocolate cravings are at their highest. I swear they screamed HERSHEYS!!! and squealed with joy when I opened the wrapper.
I just realized what time it was and asked my self "self, why are you still at work?" since I could NOT come up with a brilliant reply... I choose to leave. till next.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
on another note, I have accomplished yet another goal of mine. a personal one. it started out as being a vanity goal, and after my whole gall bladder surgery... it has turned into a health-related goal. and I am slowly but surely reaching my goal. I am so proud of myself... that I treated myself to a Hersheys bar. ok that kind of defeated part of my goal, but 1 won't hurt. plus aunt flow is coming soon, and my chocolate cravings are at their highest. I swear they screamed HERSHEYS!!! and squealed with joy when I opened the wrapper.
I just realized what time it was and asked my self "self, why are you still at work?" since I could NOT come up with a brilliant reply... I choose to leave. till next.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Thursday, September 25, 2008
tired. tired. tired.
have you ever heard of being sick and tired of being sick and tired?
that is me today. right now. at this very moment.
Freakin' people keep using my printer, (well its not really mine, it's company owned), but that is besides the point. The printer is on my desk because I print a lot. And although I do not mind sharing it - it bugs the hell outta me when I finally get around to printing... and its out of paper. Or it needs more toner. No one cares to refill the paper tray. No one asks if I need more paper from the warehouse. So I am stuck having to load, change, smack the printer.
And its not everyone that is using the printer - its ONE person. let me give a scenario:
1. I print.
2. nuisance prints.
3. I leave my papers on the printer because I am not done printing
4a. nuisance comes to get their papers and moves mine out of order.
4b. nuisance leaves papers that they either printed wrong, or printed too many in the printer instead of recycling.
5. nuisance looks over my shoulder or down my shirt for a daily cleavage shot.
6. I continue my printing, paper is out.
lameo. nuisance. not me. I went to their computer and made another printer their default printer. They figured it out and luckily (please note major sarcasm) changed it back to mine.
yeah, ok so maybe its NOT a big deal. But when I am trying to get in a routine at work, this is irritating. I have to stop what I am doing to fix it. Nuisance, please be a bit more courteous.
and that is what is happening in my life as of this morning. ha. so exciting.
enjoy the silence -
Cin
that is me today. right now. at this very moment.
Freakin' people keep using my printer, (well its not really mine, it's company owned), but that is besides the point. The printer is on my desk because I print a lot. And although I do not mind sharing it - it bugs the hell outta me when I finally get around to printing... and its out of paper. Or it needs more toner. No one cares to refill the paper tray. No one asks if I need more paper from the warehouse. So I am stuck having to load, change, smack the printer.
And its not everyone that is using the printer - its ONE person. let me give a scenario:
1. I print.
2. nuisance prints.
3. I leave my papers on the printer because I am not done printing
4a. nuisance comes to get their papers and moves mine out of order.
4b. nuisance leaves papers that they either printed wrong, or printed too many in the printer instead of recycling.
5. nuisance looks over my shoulder or down my shirt for a daily cleavage shot.
6. I continue my printing, paper is out.
lameo. nuisance. not me. I went to their computer and made another printer their default printer. They figured it out and luckily (please note major sarcasm) changed it back to mine.
yeah, ok so maybe its NOT a big deal. But when I am trying to get in a routine at work, this is irritating. I have to stop what I am doing to fix it. Nuisance, please be a bit more courteous.
and that is what is happening in my life as of this morning. ha. so exciting.
enjoy the silence -
Cin
Monday, September 22, 2008
did ya miss me?
come on I know you missed me. I missed you. my little blog you! I've been so busy. doing stuff. so shame on me for the neglect. But I am back now. I think.
so let me talk to you about someone that is beyond important in my life:
this right here is my babe. or as my mom calls him, my tortilla face. It is the most recent picture of us in which we are spending some quality time at a soccer game. (this night LA Galaxy owned DC United 5-2) It looks like if I am really darker than he is. But who cares, the boy is white.
he is the person that makes a lot of imperfections in life seem perfect. The best part is that he does it by simply being him. this babe of mine has been molded into a smart ass, shit talking, sarcastic little a-hole by... moi. But deep down, you will find that he is a very patient, kind-hearted, level-headed, funny guy. I love having staring contests with him - I always win though because he falls asleep. And my favorite part about him is when I ask him "to hold me like he's never held me before." Each time its different. So clever.
Like most guys, he is into sports. And although I hate to admit it to him, so am I. Or at least I have a tolerance and high understanding to most. I just get bored easily. I refuse to let him know this though, because then that would mean having to go to church with him every Saturday... (by church I mean sitting in front of the TV watching college football games back to back).
And although I can tell you 425.3 different things that he does that drive me up against a wall... that is only 10% of who he is. The other 90% makes me forget the times that I want to slap him with a tuna sandwich. And although most do not see it, we are very affectionate towards each other. He makes me feel like his "amorcito." We are friends before we are a couple. I think that is why we click. We complement each other in more ways than one. A lot of my negatives he turns into positives. Times when people make me want to smack them, he gives me the look that makes me settle down (after yelling a bit of course). When either is down, the other picks up the pieces. (I love how he takes care of me when I am sick). We bring out the best of each other and push each other to improve. He is my support team, cheer leading squad, and bff rolled into one. I can talk. And he can listen. At least for the most part he listens. Although there are plenty of times when I catch him in lala land when I am running my mouth. Even then, I can't blame him (even though I do). I do talk a lot.
And about a year from now, we will start a new chapter of our lives together. holy crap I am going to be known as Cin de Tortilla Face..... I wouldn't want it any other way.
so here's to you babe. I hope you are ready for this roller coaster of a coming year. I promise that in the end the ride will be more than worth it. I love you.
enjoy the silence -- Cin (de Tortilla Face) aka CinPamStid
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