I used to really love Halloween. And then I met Mr. Tortilla Face... and it all went to hell. now I am quite cynical about it just like I am about most holidays.
but this year... I wanted it to be different. I wanted to go out and enjoy myself like the previous years. I had ideas. so many of them.
and then I came to work... after 9 hours of this, I need an energy boost. man I am getting old. all I feel like doing is going home and napping!
to those out there that still have the will, and the money, and the energy to enjoy the day - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! have fun on my behalf. trick or treat for me. be a naughty nurse for me!
on another note - some people make me wonder. I wish that they were more sincere. wouldn't it be a nicer place to live in if people were just upfront? then I wouldn't have to sit here and wonder. instead people play games. they decide to keep things from others with the excuse of not wanting to hurt their feelings.
I refuse to elaborate on this. I don't want to rant today. and I don't want to ruin any one's mood. so carry on with the trick and treating.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
pretty much.. shut up
anyone that knows me pretty much knows that I have a strong opinion about things. and if you give me a chance, I will express it. if you ask for an explanation, I will give it to you. fully. I tell my stories with more words than needed so that you have the best image of it running through your head.
having said that... lately, I have cringed at the thought of having to start a conversation with others about the coming election. I try to avoid conversations in which I am going to be asked who and what I am voting on. I would rather vomit.
I follow the news for the most part. I try to keep up with politics, at least what appeals to me. I do my research so that I can have my own opinion and not sound like a complete ass when I engage in a conversation related to what is current in the world of politics. but lately, it seems to be that EVERYONE has an opinion. now please, do not get me wrong on this I think it's great that people have their own opinions and want to express them. Its great that a lot of people are willing to talk about this election. I love conversations. that is .... conversations with substance. So of course, being a natural conversationalist, I start asking questions so that I can figure out why they have certain opinions.
this is where it gets sad. and annoying. and oh so irritating.
I get a big d'oh from most of them. I have found that a lot of people are influenced by the television and by their peers on what to think and how to vote in this election. this is all ok. I understand that sometimes the television is the only source out there for some people in finding out what is going on outside of their daily life. I get that sometimes you only find out about current events if others relay this information to you. I do not see a problem with this. but I do have a problem when they base their opinion on this solely.
through some of the conversations that I have chosen to be part of, I have noticed that most people do not really understand what is going on with some of the propositions, or how the candidates feel about certain issues. they are simply taking in what the mighty television set tells them, and are not really taking the time to educate themselves. they have become a mass group of repeaters. everything they hear, they repeat. but when asked to elaborate, they are stumped. they either rant at me irrationally and try to shove their ideas and choices at me simply because. or they pretend something else has suddenly become much more interesting to talk about. and that just irritates me. how am I supposed to have a conversation with a robot?
this mass of repeaters has caused great disappointment in my eyes. this, like all elections, is so important. people should really take the time to educate themselves when making their decisions. and not just go along with the flow.
since I do not have any control over people and the way they act, I have chosen to savor silence, love it. cherish it. enjoy it. relish in it. (my ipod has come in quite handy lately) I have learned to nod. smile. and pretty much not say anything about what I think unless I see that the conversation is heading on the right path. (you know, the one that does not cross bullshit lane or ignorant ave).
so lately, when people come up to me and start the conversation with "you better vote for Obama!" or when they ask "you're voting on Prop 8 right?" I tend to throw up in mouth just a little bit. I hesitate in telling people what I am voting on. I do not shove it down their throats. Instead, I am more prone to give people information on websites on how they can educate themselves on the propositions. I encourage them to get out there and simply vote. That is what is important.
so folks. educate yourselves. vote. and please do not insert foot in mouth when carrying a conversation regarding this coming election. and if you do not have any power over this, converse with someone else.
for now, I shall, enjoy the silence -
Cin
having said that... lately, I have cringed at the thought of having to start a conversation with others about the coming election. I try to avoid conversations in which I am going to be asked who and what I am voting on. I would rather vomit.
I follow the news for the most part. I try to keep up with politics, at least what appeals to me. I do my research so that I can have my own opinion and not sound like a complete ass when I engage in a conversation related to what is current in the world of politics. but lately, it seems to be that EVERYONE has an opinion. now please, do not get me wrong on this I think it's great that people have their own opinions and want to express them. Its great that a lot of people are willing to talk about this election. I love conversations. that is .... conversations with substance. So of course, being a natural conversationalist, I start asking questions so that I can figure out why they have certain opinions.
this is where it gets sad. and annoying. and oh so irritating.
I get a big d'oh from most of them. I have found that a lot of people are influenced by the television and by their peers on what to think and how to vote in this election. this is all ok. I understand that sometimes the television is the only source out there for some people in finding out what is going on outside of their daily life. I get that sometimes you only find out about current events if others relay this information to you. I do not see a problem with this. but I do have a problem when they base their opinion on this solely.
through some of the conversations that I have chosen to be part of, I have noticed that most people do not really understand what is going on with some of the propositions, or how the candidates feel about certain issues. they are simply taking in what the mighty television set tells them, and are not really taking the time to educate themselves. they have become a mass group of repeaters. everything they hear, they repeat. but when asked to elaborate, they are stumped. they either rant at me irrationally and try to shove their ideas and choices at me simply because. or they pretend something else has suddenly become much more interesting to talk about. and that just irritates me. how am I supposed to have a conversation with a robot?
this mass of repeaters has caused great disappointment in my eyes. this, like all elections, is so important. people should really take the time to educate themselves when making their decisions. and not just go along with the flow.
since I do not have any control over people and the way they act, I have chosen to savor silence, love it. cherish it. enjoy it. relish in it. (my ipod has come in quite handy lately) I have learned to nod. smile. and pretty much not say anything about what I think unless I see that the conversation is heading on the right path. (you know, the one that does not cross bullshit lane or ignorant ave).
so lately, when people come up to me and start the conversation with "you better vote for Obama!" or when they ask "you're voting on Prop 8 right?" I tend to throw up in mouth just a little bit. I hesitate in telling people what I am voting on. I do not shove it down their throats. Instead, I am more prone to give people information on websites on how they can educate themselves on the propositions. I encourage them to get out there and simply vote. That is what is important.
so folks. educate yourselves. vote. and please do not insert foot in mouth when carrying a conversation regarding this coming election. and if you do not have any power over this, converse with someone else.
for now, I shall, enjoy the silence -
Cin
Friday, October 24, 2008
hello weekend
I missed you so much.
I think I am catching a cold. Maybe I just need rest. Sunday I slept late - which meant that my body got used to late sleeping - which meant that each night this week I have slept late, and gotten up in a hurry. Can you tell by now that I am a woman that always has a battle with sleep! I just need one night of some GOOOD sleep and I should be ok. if that does not help then that means that I just might get a cold. orange juice.
on to other things...
I know that I am an emotional person. I know that I think and react with my heart first before reason. As the years have passed by, I have learned to stop myself from reacting automatically and think things through. I react now with my heart and my mind. I know that I have improved on that part.
BUT (there is always a but)
sometimes, I just react like a girl normally would. my feelings get hurt. I question myself. I sulk. I can't say that I do not like this part about me as it is part of being a girl. I just hate feeling down. I am one that fully commits, so when something bothers me... it really bothers me. It usually takes a bit to distract me and to get me out of that hole. These are usually the moments that I decide to blog - when I am angry, upset, down, stressed. I cannot pretend my life is peachy 24.7. And I don't need to blog about all of the great things that do take place in my life because it would seem too plastic. So please do not think that I am gloomy, and depressing, and crying, and angry 100% of the time. I do think that it is good to get hurt sometimes. SOMETIMES!!!! I think those moments make you stronger. They open your eyes and make you realize that the sky is not always blue and the grass is not always green.
so for the days when I am down - thank you. You give me great writing material. And for the days when I am happy - thank you. they help me get through the hard days.
and now back to the weekend. I've missed you so.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
I think I am catching a cold. Maybe I just need rest. Sunday I slept late - which meant that my body got used to late sleeping - which meant that each night this week I have slept late, and gotten up in a hurry. Can you tell by now that I am a woman that always has a battle with sleep! I just need one night of some GOOOD sleep and I should be ok. if that does not help then that means that I just might get a cold. orange juice.
on to other things...
I know that I am an emotional person. I know that I think and react with my heart first before reason. As the years have passed by, I have learned to stop myself from reacting automatically and think things through. I react now with my heart and my mind. I know that I have improved on that part.
BUT (there is always a but)
sometimes, I just react like a girl normally would. my feelings get hurt. I question myself. I sulk. I can't say that I do not like this part about me as it is part of being a girl. I just hate feeling down. I am one that fully commits, so when something bothers me... it really bothers me. It usually takes a bit to distract me and to get me out of that hole. These are usually the moments that I decide to blog - when I am angry, upset, down, stressed. I cannot pretend my life is peachy 24.7. And I don't need to blog about all of the great things that do take place in my life because it would seem too plastic. So please do not think that I am gloomy, and depressing, and crying, and angry 100% of the time. I do think that it is good to get hurt sometimes. SOMETIMES!!!! I think those moments make you stronger. They open your eyes and make you realize that the sky is not always blue and the grass is not always green.
so for the days when I am down - thank you. You give me great writing material. And for the days when I am happy - thank you. they help me get through the hard days.
and now back to the weekend. I've missed you so.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
cat and mouse
ok so... to be fair... I know that I have been out of the dating game for a while now.
BUT
why do people (both male and female) insist on trying to follow the dating rules which were invented who knows how long ago by who knows who? why is it so hard to just be who you are and be upfront so that both know what they are getting themselves into from day one? I understand that at first people are apprehensive and have their guard up because they are at the "getting to know each other" phase, but sometimes people go a bit overboard with the rules. You have to wait 3 days before calling so that you do not seem so desperate. I don't know about you... but if a guy is really that attracted to me that he wants to call me the following day... he already won some brownie points in my book. The faster this guy calls me, the faster I can find out if he deserves those brownie points or not. instead many girls get excited that someone showed interest and asked for their number. and when he waits to call, the girl decides to sit and wait and try to remember all that was said the day they met. what were the last things said? why has it been so long? were they too eager to give out he number? and if the guy has called already and a couple of conversations have already been shared, the girl worries to death as to why he hasn't called all weekend? they try to figure out and come up with excuses as to why he was calling constantly before and now he just stopped! and they refuse to call or text because that would break one of the golden rules in which a girl should not be the one to look for the guy. he should come looking for her. bologna. I do not think this is true in all cases. like everything in life, there are exceptions! but this is part of the game that people play when dating. so unnecessary!
now do not get me wrong, I am a bit traditional in certain areas. I do believe that there are certain things that a guy, or should I say a gentleman, should do if he is interested. He should be the first to initiate a date. he should ask for your number. he should come pick you up. he should be the one to initiate a lot of things, but a girl should also show interest.
The modern Cin inside of me does not think that you should have to wait by the phone or the computer to see when he will make contact again. If you really want to know what he did for the weekend, initiate conversation. Too shy to say it over the phone? Too much of a rambler to type it up in an email? Make it short, sweet, and simple through a text. Hey! How was your weekend? instead, we end up questioning everything including ourselves. I know, this is part of being a girl. But come on now are we not the ones that claim to be so modern and independent nowadays??? why do we allow to get stuck in this game and web of rules? why are we still hesitant to go for what or who we want? I am not saying to go out and become a princess warrior; slaying all other females that get in your way of you and your man. and I am definitely NOT saying to become Miss Clingy of the year and text/call/email constantly.
I am just saying be yourself. Let him fall in love with you. Be a rebel without a cause and stop following those rules religiously. Just be a person that is interested in another person. Allow yourself to find a friend first before a lover. That is how you find Mr. Right (in my opinion). Now if you are lookin for Mr. Tonight/Booty Call/ Quick Fix disregard this post completely. This does NOT apply to you.
Maybe its easier said than done since I have not dated in a while. I just find a lot of the modern rules to be too traditional. You have to find the middle ground in order for it to be just right.
having said all of that, I sure am glad I have tortilla face. the Cin of today would probably be driven to pure madness if I had to go back to dating.
BUT
why do people (both male and female) insist on trying to follow the dating rules which were invented who knows how long ago by who knows who? why is it so hard to just be who you are and be upfront so that both know what they are getting themselves into from day one? I understand that at first people are apprehensive and have their guard up because they are at the "getting to know each other" phase, but sometimes people go a bit overboard with the rules. You have to wait 3 days before calling so that you do not seem so desperate. I don't know about you... but if a guy is really that attracted to me that he wants to call me the following day... he already won some brownie points in my book. The faster this guy calls me, the faster I can find out if he deserves those brownie points or not. instead many girls get excited that someone showed interest and asked for their number. and when he waits to call, the girl decides to sit and wait and try to remember all that was said the day they met. what were the last things said? why has it been so long? were they too eager to give out he number? and if the guy has called already and a couple of conversations have already been shared, the girl worries to death as to why he hasn't called all weekend? they try to figure out and come up with excuses as to why he was calling constantly before and now he just stopped! and they refuse to call or text because that would break one of the golden rules in which a girl should not be the one to look for the guy. he should come looking for her. bologna. I do not think this is true in all cases. like everything in life, there are exceptions! but this is part of the game that people play when dating. so unnecessary!
now do not get me wrong, I am a bit traditional in certain areas. I do believe that there are certain things that a guy, or should I say a gentleman, should do if he is interested. He should be the first to initiate a date. he should ask for your number. he should come pick you up. he should be the one to initiate a lot of things, but a girl should also show interest.
The modern Cin inside of me does not think that you should have to wait by the phone or the computer to see when he will make contact again. If you really want to know what he did for the weekend, initiate conversation. Too shy to say it over the phone? Too much of a rambler to type it up in an email? Make it short, sweet, and simple through a text. Hey! How was your weekend? instead, we end up questioning everything including ourselves. I know, this is part of being a girl. But come on now are we not the ones that claim to be so modern and independent nowadays??? why do we allow to get stuck in this game and web of rules? why are we still hesitant to go for what or who we want? I am not saying to go out and become a princess warrior; slaying all other females that get in your way of you and your man. and I am definitely NOT saying to become Miss Clingy of the year and text/call/email constantly.
I am just saying be yourself. Let him fall in love with you. Be a rebel without a cause and stop following those rules religiously. Just be a person that is interested in another person. Allow yourself to find a friend first before a lover. That is how you find Mr. Right (in my opinion). Now if you are lookin for Mr. Tonight/Booty Call/ Quick Fix disregard this post completely. This does NOT apply to you.
Maybe its easier said than done since I have not dated in a while. I just find a lot of the modern rules to be too traditional. You have to find the middle ground in order for it to be just right.
having said all of that, I sure am glad I have tortilla face. the Cin of today would probably be driven to pure madness if I had to go back to dating.
.Disney.
.spooky. 
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Monday, October 20, 2008
here I am again on my own
my brain looks like putty today. how do I know this? because my hairline told me so.
apparently I am old now. I stay out past midnight and wake up the following day at 6am... and it feels as if though my body has been stepped on by a sumo wrestler. and my brain is just as smashed and worthless. and of course, I have the bright idea of going out and staying out late on a Sunday night... so here it is Monday. Cin with a worthless brain and a worn out body.
at least yesterday was fun. Disneyland. you can never go wrong with Disney. and tortilla face of course. you mix those two together and its heaven =)
am I really getting that old?
yes, I am definitely having a moment. I used to be able to do all of this and some. Last weekend I went out with the girls, I got home past 3am. Woke up the next day around 8am. Did some flower girl's shopping (not my wedding, my sister's). Walked around with 3 little girls... that talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. Came home to do... actually I forgot what I did. But the thing is I was in bed by 9pm. Sleeping by 10ish. My body was slightly upset that I had deprived it of its resting time. And now yesterday I do this again. so here I am again.. lagging.
I think my body is definitely used to its usual routine of my Monday-Friday. Work. Gym. Home. Shower. Sleep. When I throw something in there that throws off the routine.. my body goes on strike. I tell myself that its not age. Its just the wheels that make my day go round and round. Those wheels do not enjoy an occasional wrench being thrown in there. They like the consistency. Age has nothing to do with it. (or at least that is what I tell myself).
well whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore. I just have to get going. stop yawning. and get through the day. If I can make it through work, the rest of the day will be fine.
I have to get used to the occasional wrench disrupting my routine, because I recently looked at my calendar and realized that I have some VERY busy weekends coming up, especially in November... and December. so the young girl in me better wake up and help me out here or else I will have to resort to a case of Monsters.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
apparently I am old now. I stay out past midnight and wake up the following day at 6am... and it feels as if though my body has been stepped on by a sumo wrestler. and my brain is just as smashed and worthless. and of course, I have the bright idea of going out and staying out late on a Sunday night... so here it is Monday. Cin with a worthless brain and a worn out body.
at least yesterday was fun. Disneyland. you can never go wrong with Disney. and tortilla face of course. you mix those two together and its heaven =)
am I really getting that old?
yes, I am definitely having a moment. I used to be able to do all of this and some. Last weekend I went out with the girls, I got home past 3am. Woke up the next day around 8am. Did some flower girl's shopping (not my wedding, my sister's). Walked around with 3 little girls... that talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. Came home to do... actually I forgot what I did. But the thing is I was in bed by 9pm. Sleeping by 10ish. My body was slightly upset that I had deprived it of its resting time. And now yesterday I do this again. so here I am again.. lagging.
I think my body is definitely used to its usual routine of my Monday-Friday. Work. Gym. Home. Shower. Sleep. When I throw something in there that throws off the routine.. my body goes on strike. I tell myself that its not age. Its just the wheels that make my day go round and round. Those wheels do not enjoy an occasional wrench being thrown in there. They like the consistency. Age has nothing to do with it. (or at least that is what I tell myself).
well whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore. I just have to get going. stop yawning. and get through the day. If I can make it through work, the rest of the day will be fine.
I have to get used to the occasional wrench disrupting my routine, because I recently looked at my calendar and realized that I have some VERY busy weekends coming up, especially in November... and December. so the young girl in me better wake up and help me out here or else I will have to resort to a case of Monsters.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Thursday, October 16, 2008
TAG! you are so it.
I have been tagged by the one and only Confessions of a Shop Girl !
Here are the Rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is UP.
******************************************************
1. I am totally fascinated with serial killers, mental folk, vampires (not sure if they exist, but sometimes they do in my mind). I am not necessarily fascinated with the act itself, the truth of the matter is that all of the gore and blood grosses me out. I am more interested in their mental state. What would drive them to do what they do? This is the part of me that likes to pick things (mostly minds) apart.
2. I love to dip my McDonald fries in my McFlurry. It grosses the hell outta my sister, but I love it.
3. Sometimes I feel like the middle child although there are 4 of us and I am number 2 in line. I definitely resent this. I still love my family above all even though there is some angst there.
4. I CANNOT stand most people. If I just met you, I give you a chance. But if you mess up once... you can pretty much count me out. My tolerance level has gone way down because I have ran across some really stupid people. and yes, I know that it is unfair to stereotype and group all. But I think my friend meter is full, and I don't care much for giving people many chances. Now if you were to blow me away (not literally), then how can I possibly say no?
5. I believe in God. I have faith. I just do not believe in what the church has turned into now. This includes all churches. This does not mean that I think religion is bad. I just do not like what the organization part of hte church itself has done to it. I usually keep this to myself because I know that it is a touchy subject. I do not feel like arguing about this with others as we are all entitled to live how we want, plus I hate losing arguments... so we might either argue forever. hate each other. or the argument might end in blood shed. (see number 1 above, as this is where I would most likely get ideas from)
6. I have heard by many recently that it seems that I argue a lot with tortilla face. I promise you that this is not the case. our personalities just make it seem that way. we come across as smart asses, shit talkers, with lack of emotion. when in reality, my heart skips a beat when I see him. we get along extremely well and if we do argue, we solve it then and there. or at least he solves it, because I'm never wrong =)
******************************************************
and now it's my turn to tag, randomly:
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
and Cin said... let there be floor, and the mess parted and floor existed.
let me start this blog out by saying ... FUCK!!!!!!.....
I had already typed out my blog and I pressed some buttons to start the format part of blogging and my WHOLE entry was erased into thin air. in true words of my brother "tight."
last night I came home, came into my room and noticed that it was a mess. and I am not talking about an ordinary mess. this was horrible. I think that I must have been so stressed out because of work because when I saw the mess, all I could be was upset. I was so upset that I asked my cousin Sophia "if you clean my room and wash my clothes, I will pay you a shiny penny." I actually thought it was a great idea. She is unemployed, lacks in funds. I am sooo employed that I never have time to come home and do the simple things. I usually leave it to the weekends, but lately.. I don't have time then either. So my room had become an accumulation of clothes, both clean and dirty, shoes, tupperware (clean ones), purses, herbalife, water bottles galore, and dust. I figured that I needed help in the cleaning department so that I can catch up to my normal life... and she could use the money.
unfortunately, for me and her, the neurotic Cin did not allow anyone else to try to clean my room to their taste. things had to be done my way or else I would not have been satisfied. So I forced myself to get up and clean. I will not lie, she did help me out. Especially with moral support and in the end I did throw some perfume samples as well Victorias Secret lotions and sprays her way (she was going to smell delish before heading to bed with all of the samples she had sprayed on herself). But for the most part it was all me. I washed clothes. organized shoes. put purses in one location only. changed my bed sheets. hung up clothes. folded clothes. swept. dusted. put change in one location and ONE location only. when I was done... I felt so accomplished. My back was killing me, but man I could see my bedroom floor. Actually, I could see a LOT of it.
After all was said and done... it was a bit past midnight. I was exhausted. At the time it did not matter though. I was so proud of myself that my throbbing back and my tired eyes would just have to suck it up.
And now what to do so that it stays this way. I could just hire my cousin to be my personal cleaning lady/ assistant and go insane each time I notice that she folded my shirts wrong. Or that she placed my soccer jerseys next to my work shirts. Or I could just make the extra effort to do it myself. In all honesty, I cannot stand things out of place. And although work is important, I need to find time for myself and my room so that I do not add unnecessary stress to my life. Trust me, my room would have stressed anyone out.
So that is the plan. Make sure that no matter how busy I might be... that I find time to do the things that make day to day life that much more pleasant (and cleaner), especially in a place like my bedroom. That is the one place I should be able to go to and just RELAX. so there goes a personal goal. and I am looking forward to keeping it.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
I had already typed out my blog and I pressed some buttons to start the format part of blogging and my WHOLE entry was erased into thin air. in true words of my brother "tight."
last night I came home, came into my room and noticed that it was a mess. and I am not talking about an ordinary mess. this was horrible. I think that I must have been so stressed out because of work because when I saw the mess, all I could be was upset. I was so upset that I asked my cousin Sophia "if you clean my room and wash my clothes, I will pay you a shiny penny." I actually thought it was a great idea. She is unemployed, lacks in funds. I am sooo employed that I never have time to come home and do the simple things. I usually leave it to the weekends, but lately.. I don't have time then either. So my room had become an accumulation of clothes, both clean and dirty, shoes, tupperware (clean ones), purses, herbalife, water bottles galore, and dust. I figured that I needed help in the cleaning department so that I can catch up to my normal life... and she could use the money.
unfortunately, for me and her, the neurotic Cin did not allow anyone else to try to clean my room to their taste. things had to be done my way or else I would not have been satisfied. So I forced myself to get up and clean. I will not lie, she did help me out. Especially with moral support and in the end I did throw some perfume samples as well Victorias Secret lotions and sprays her way (she was going to smell delish before heading to bed with all of the samples she had sprayed on herself). But for the most part it was all me. I washed clothes. organized shoes. put purses in one location only. changed my bed sheets. hung up clothes. folded clothes. swept. dusted. put change in one location and ONE location only. when I was done... I felt so accomplished. My back was killing me, but man I could see my bedroom floor. Actually, I could see a LOT of it.
After all was said and done... it was a bit past midnight. I was exhausted. At the time it did not matter though. I was so proud of myself that my throbbing back and my tired eyes would just have to suck it up.
And now what to do so that it stays this way. I could just hire my cousin to be my personal cleaning lady/ assistant and go insane each time I notice that she folded my shirts wrong. Or that she placed my soccer jerseys next to my work shirts. Or I could just make the extra effort to do it myself. In all honesty, I cannot stand things out of place. And although work is important, I need to find time for myself and my room so that I do not add unnecessary stress to my life. Trust me, my room would have stressed anyone out.
So that is the plan. Make sure that no matter how busy I might be... that I find time to do the things that make day to day life that much more pleasant (and cleaner), especially in a place like my bedroom. That is the one place I should be able to go to and just RELAX. so there goes a personal goal. and I am looking forward to keeping it.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
enough is never enough
so it is now lunch time. a time for myself. a time to relax. a time to step back from work... and blog.
I have a couple of things I want to blog about, but I think that I am only going to blog briefly. I have a good lunch waiting for me and there really is no sense making it wait.
I have a couple of things I want to blog about, but I think that I am only going to blog briefly. I have a good lunch waiting for me and there really is no sense making it wait.
- so when is enough really finally enough? people get tired of situations. of people. of so many other things. and something inside of them does not allow them to separate themselves of those situations. or people, or whatever. instead they stick around. they're not happy. they put up with it. sick isn't it? why not just GO. separate. say fuck it? I guess we all come with different tolerance levels - but what will it really take for someone to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH?
- economy is garbage. or at least that is what I hear. and people are getting laid off. once more, its all hearsay. It has not happened to me (thankfully). Does that mean that no one is hiring? Does that mean that you kind of have to tolerate where you are currently employed and your current boss due to economy being so shitty? Is it fair for bosses to use that excuse... economy is bad right now, that is why we cannot give you a raise (or promotion)? and when does this excuse from your boss become old? which then leads me back to my first comment. when is ENOUGH really ENOUGH?
- is it fair to say that once a cheater... always a cheater? or once a liar... always a liar? (I am not talking about white lies either) how many chances should you give someone that keeps lying to you? how many times do you say "ok I will give our friendship/relationship another go," even though they keep playing the part over and over again? and how much time should you let go by before you give them another chance? how many times do they have to do you wrong before you say ENOUGH is ENOUGH?
- on another note, you can tell when a person is a good person because of the friendships that they maintain. if they can carry a friendship, then they are most likely able to succeed in other things in life. or at least have a positive attitude towards life. why?... because they are commited. because they are most likely understanding. because they do not give up and pull through. that does not mean that because you and I are not friends, that you are a bad person. It just means that we might not be compatible for each other. Or maybe we just haven't really tried.
- how many more years will it take for the Dodgers to make the playoffs? ok that was a low blow... they are technically still in. But man... can they just win already? it has been 20 freakin' years!!!!!!! Dodgers ask yourself... when is ENOUGH really ENOUGH?
on that note... I am off to lunch. JZ feel better =)
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Sunday, October 12, 2008
sunday. sunday.
ah it is Sunday. a day to relax. a day to enjoy the sun. a day to feel the cold wind in my hair. and my neck. and my feet. and my arms. my goodness the sun deceived me today. I woke up to sunshine.... once I went outside, the breeze laughed at me while it covered me from head to toe.
I think that I love and hate Sundays. I loooove Sundays because it is the perfect day to relax. I love just laying in bed and napping when I feel like it. put a good movie on. get under the comforter. and chill. the part that makes me cringe is when I remember that it is Sunday which means that a new work week will begin the following day.So although the bed sounds great. and an afternoon nap on the hammock is a dream... I have to get up to go run errands that will not be able to get done during the week.
ah Sundays.
so after this blog has been typed out and my thoughts are gathered... I will go straighten my hair (maybe keep it curly), get dressed. and run errands. the only good thing is that I have a soccer game today and it should be fun. or at least it will allow me to have time to forget that tomorrow is Monday.
so bloggers enjoy the silence this Sunday folks. wear socks today.
-Cin
I think that I love and hate Sundays. I loooove Sundays because it is the perfect day to relax. I love just laying in bed and napping when I feel like it. put a good movie on. get under the comforter. and chill. the part that makes me cringe is when I remember that it is Sunday which means that a new work week will begin the following day.So although the bed sounds great. and an afternoon nap on the hammock is a dream... I have to get up to go run errands that will not be able to get done during the week.
ah Sundays.
so after this blog has been typed out and my thoughts are gathered... I will go straighten my hair (maybe keep it curly), get dressed. and run errands. the only good thing is that I have a soccer game today and it should be fun. or at least it will allow me to have time to forget that tomorrow is Monday.
so bloggers enjoy the silence this Sunday folks. wear socks today.
-Cin
Thursday, October 9, 2008
word of the day
frustrated.
I put my heart into everything I do or am involved in. I give it my all. True, at times I slack... I am human. I have my moments. But for the most part, I have true intentions and set out to make the best out of what I do.
Work is also something I take seriously. And I put my all into.
Today I had to take a step back from work. I had to do something to vent. So here I am. Hands shaking in fury. Tears being held in. And frustration pouring out of my pores.
I want to stick up for myself, but I have had to stop myself. My thoughts are everywhere and I would only sound like a ranting fool. I can sound like this at home, but not at work. At work, I am supposed to NOT make excuses as to why I am behind. I am supposed to prioritize the big stuff, but kick out the small stuff. I am supposed to handle 5 things at once, and complete them at the same time. Oh, and lunch... what is that? Working 9-5... who gets that schedule?
Last night... I took these latest worries home with me. So I woke up this morning with a crooked neck, bad back, and a bad taste from the day before. my motivation is here, but its hidden in fear of the emails I might receive today.
With the economy being how it is, all of this worries me. With my boss being how he is, I worry that no one will stick up for me. With my other boss not knowing how it is, I feel like if I am up against a wall. So today, I just want to get through theday. Email fairies - please divert all BAD emails to nobody here.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
I put my heart into everything I do or am involved in. I give it my all. True, at times I slack... I am human. I have my moments. But for the most part, I have true intentions and set out to make the best out of what I do.
Work is also something I take seriously. And I put my all into.
Today I had to take a step back from work. I had to do something to vent. So here I am. Hands shaking in fury. Tears being held in. And frustration pouring out of my pores.
I want to stick up for myself, but I have had to stop myself. My thoughts are everywhere and I would only sound like a ranting fool. I can sound like this at home, but not at work. At work, I am supposed to NOT make excuses as to why I am behind. I am supposed to prioritize the big stuff, but kick out the small stuff. I am supposed to handle 5 things at once, and complete them at the same time. Oh, and lunch... what is that? Working 9-5... who gets that schedule?
Last night... I took these latest worries home with me. So I woke up this morning with a crooked neck, bad back, and a bad taste from the day before. my motivation is here, but its hidden in fear of the emails I might receive today.
With the economy being how it is, all of this worries me. With my boss being how he is, I worry that no one will stick up for me. With my other boss not knowing how it is, I feel like if I am up against a wall. So today, I just want to get through theday. Email fairies - please divert all BAD emails to nobody here.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
it never rains in southern california... sometimes I wish it would... or wouldn't
I swear this weather is driving me nuts. Do not get me wrong... I am not trying to complain. But I wish that the weather in California would make up its mind. Is it ready to switch into fall, or is it still stuck in summer? We have little hints of fall every now and then. Especially at nights. But just as soon as we get comfortable and start pulling out our version of winter clothing.... the blasting sun comes out to say hello.
Last Saturday we had rain. During the weekend when I finally get to enjoy the sunlight and the daytime... it decides to rain. So I get to enjoy my day indoors. It wasn't a complete drag , I got to pull out my UGG boots and enjoy the comfort. But now it's Tuesday... and I am back to flip flops.
This has to be bad for my body. I wonder if it gets confused wondering why it was shivering an hour ago and now there's sweat rolling down my back.
And let me tell you the damage it creates in my closet on a daily basis... When I wake up in the morning, early morning, I always look out the window to see what the weather will be like. Recently it looks as if though the day will be filled with clouds and dark skies. I try to get as warm as possible and start the layering process... and then the dreaded weather lady comes on to mock all of the wardrobe that I have piled on. Apparently, the weather will be changing from the 50's to the 90's during the day. Everything that was on will now be taken off and placed on the floor, my bed, the pile of clothes of from the day before.... anywhere but where it should be. And I get to figure out how I am going to layer my clothes so that I can take it off by the time I get to work. Even then, the AC is on full-blast at work so the sweater stays on. At least I have my disaster of a closet to look forward to arranging all over again. (major sarcasm there)
so yes, the weather here is great. and yes, I would never trade it for any other one. But it would be nice if it could send me a memo every now and then letting me know how I should plan my wardrobe for the following day. or at least a note saying "thanks for hanging in there... SUCKER!!!!"
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Last Saturday we had rain. During the weekend when I finally get to enjoy the sunlight and the daytime... it decides to rain. So I get to enjoy my day indoors. It wasn't a complete drag , I got to pull out my UGG boots and enjoy the comfort. But now it's Tuesday... and I am back to flip flops.
This has to be bad for my body. I wonder if it gets confused wondering why it was shivering an hour ago and now there's sweat rolling down my back.
And let me tell you the damage it creates in my closet on a daily basis... When I wake up in the morning, early morning, I always look out the window to see what the weather will be like. Recently it looks as if though the day will be filled with clouds and dark skies. I try to get as warm as possible and start the layering process... and then the dreaded weather lady comes on to mock all of the wardrobe that I have piled on. Apparently, the weather will be changing from the 50's to the 90's during the day. Everything that was on will now be taken off and placed on the floor, my bed, the pile of clothes of from the day before.... anywhere but where it should be. And I get to figure out how I am going to layer my clothes so that I can take it off by the time I get to work. Even then, the AC is on full-blast at work so the sweater stays on. At least I have my disaster of a closet to look forward to arranging all over again. (major sarcasm there)
so yes, the weather here is great. and yes, I would never trade it for any other one. But it would be nice if it could send me a memo every now and then letting me know how I should plan my wardrobe for the following day. or at least a note saying "thanks for hanging in there... SUCKER!!!!"
enjoy the silence
-Cin
Monday, October 6, 2008
enjoy the silence
In case you have not noticed, I always end my blogs with Enjoy the Silence and my name. And my accunt names usually are Savor Silence. And sometimes Savor Cin. So now you might ask, "Where did all of this come from?"
back in '96, I was barely getting into this new world out there called the Internet. I was so naive back then. I had creativity running through my bones, but was unsure of what name I wanted to be branded with. I was not aware that this is what people might remember you by. Hey, how are you doing sexybunny69? or even I haven't read any of your postings in a while latina4life! Sadly, I have run accross some of these names in my Internet days. I can admit that my names were not brilliant and definitely not thought out, but they were not that bad. One of my first names that I stuck with for a long time was "suprem*star." Yes, I intentionally left the "e" out of out supreme and would add the "*". I'm not sure where I came up with that, but I do remember that my friend Richie had something to do with it.
At first the names did not really bother me. Who cares if it wasn't all creative. I had started out on sites like livejournal, onchat, and of course, my AIM account. But then one day, my other friend, Jossie, gave me a better name... Cin Censura. (for those who do not speak Spanish - without censorship.) Cin fit in there perfectly, considering that that is my name. I started using this for my livejournal & my myspace account and really liked it. The name was not complicated, it was to the point, and the meaning behind it was perfect. But something did not feel right. I cannot explain it until this day, but it felt as if though it did not quite fit. Some might think, who cares? it's just a name! It had become more than just a name to me. People will remember my account name when they search me. When they befriend me. I wanted to have a name that said hello in a confident manner to the Internet world.
And finally one day, while listening to music, I came up with my name. I was updating my ipod while it played on shuffle mode. The first song to spark a light was Depeche Mode's Enjoy the Silence. It is definitely one of my favorite songs of theirs. I listened to the lyrics. Googled them. And said - this is it. And then the next song came on, Deftones Savory (Jawbox cover). Two of my favorite bands, two of my favorite songs. And this is where I decided to mix the songs up and come up with one title. Savor Silence. It has the same meaning as DM's song title, it just has different wording. It made me feel as if though I wasn't just stealing their creativity completely. Although I have to admit that a lot of my ideas come from songs. I am sure that I am not the only one out there that is constantly inspired by music.
Ever since then... that is the name that I have used. Now the name has taken a different purpose from when I first started using it. I like the thought of sometimes, silence is what we need in our constant busy lives. Silence is definitely found in the Internet world. Most of us, especially in our blogs, express ourselves through words or pictures. The words have meaning. The words can move you. They can create emotion. But it is all done through silence. No loud noise. No speeches heard through loud speakers or the television. Just words that fit together to move the heart and soul of anyone that is willing to take the time to read. The only sound heard is the writer's fingertips as they hit each key.
So enjoy the silence folks. Turn off the TV. Read a book. Read a blog. Turn off the sound of this hectic life we sometimes have and enjoy.
enjoy the silence
- Cin
Thursday, October 2, 2008
savor silence goes blog
in case you did not know... I am kinda new to this blog world. its not my 1st month in or anything of that sort. But I am still trying to remember that its here. And I am still finding out new things about how to use it.
One of the features that I started using is the Google Reader. I have found some awesome blogs on the Blogs of Note.
One of my recent finds and favorites is Clever Girl Goes Blog. This is such gooood reading. Tia is the mastermind behind some LOLs I have at work sometimes. Her writing is so personal that when I read it, it makes me feel as if though I am talking to one of my friends. In some cases, I feel as if though she is writing on my behalf. The way she puts words together makes it so easy to be part of whatever story she is telling. I really enjoy this type of writing.
Her most recent blog that I have enjoyed is the one where she pinpoints feelings, emotions, thoughts, and everything revolving your ex. I do not think I could have said it any better.
If you get a chance, check her out and sit back and enjoy some good reading. I know I've become a follower.
as for me, I have some work to finish up before I head out to my dinner date.
enjoy the silence -
Cin
One of the features that I started using is the Google Reader. I have found some awesome blogs on the Blogs of Note.
One of my recent finds and favorites is Clever Girl Goes Blog. This is such gooood reading. Tia is the mastermind behind some LOLs I have at work sometimes. Her writing is so personal that when I read it, it makes me feel as if though I am talking to one of my friends. In some cases, I feel as if though she is writing on my behalf. The way she puts words together makes it so easy to be part of whatever story she is telling. I really enjoy this type of writing.
Her most recent blog that I have enjoyed is the one where she pinpoints feelings, emotions, thoughts, and everything revolving your ex. I do not think I could have said it any better.
If you get a chance, check her out and sit back and enjoy some good reading. I know I've become a follower.
as for me, I have some work to finish up before I head out to my dinner date.
enjoy the silence -
Cin
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
with accomplishments come long nights
man oh man am I pooped. work has been hectic. I have to admit that I was slacking off a bit last week, and now it caught up to me. sometimes I come into the office and I just have zero motivation to get my day going. and sometimes... I want to make sure I leave everyone, especially myself impressed. This is the mood that I am in this week. And it has paid off. Although there is a lot of work and I have been working nonstop... I have accomplished much. I also noticed that I am not as stressed because I know that I am on a pace that allows me to complete what I have set out to accomplish to begin with. I guess its good that I am in this mood because I have to work this weekend. Personally, it does not bother me. I just might need a break after this week though.
on another note, I have accomplished yet another goal of mine. a personal one. it started out as being a vanity goal, and after my whole gall bladder surgery... it has turned into a health-related goal. and I am slowly but surely reaching my goal. I am so proud of myself... that I treated myself to a Hersheys bar. ok that kind of defeated part of my goal, but 1 won't hurt. plus aunt flow is coming soon, and my chocolate cravings are at their highest. I swear they screamed HERSHEYS!!! and squealed with joy when I opened the wrapper.
I just realized what time it was and asked my self "self, why are you still at work?" since I could NOT come up with a brilliant reply... I choose to leave. till next.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
on another note, I have accomplished yet another goal of mine. a personal one. it started out as being a vanity goal, and after my whole gall bladder surgery... it has turned into a health-related goal. and I am slowly but surely reaching my goal. I am so proud of myself... that I treated myself to a Hersheys bar. ok that kind of defeated part of my goal, but 1 won't hurt. plus aunt flow is coming soon, and my chocolate cravings are at their highest. I swear they screamed HERSHEYS!!! and squealed with joy when I opened the wrapper.
I just realized what time it was and asked my self "self, why are you still at work?" since I could NOT come up with a brilliant reply... I choose to leave. till next.
enjoy the silence
-Cin
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