LOOK. I'm on HGTV

wow.

so Mr. Tortilla Face has finally realized that a lot of shit is about to go down. (not like in the alley, with knives and bats, just a lot of stuff that we normally do not have on our calendars) I have been telling him over and over again that we are going to get busy very soon, but he never pays attention. and this weekend he said to me

Tortilla: I think I am going to need a calendar.

Me: why is that?

Tortilla: man, I have so much shit lined up, that I need to make sure that I don't agree to do something with someone when I already have stuff going on with others.

Me: hahahah I told you.

Tortilla: I know, but I thought you were just trying to scare me.

so the truth is that we have a lot of stuff lined up. I have June and July only and then all of the planning and all of the headaches will come to an end. Right now, I have to make sure that I get my calendar organized. And then I have to make sure that I follow that calendar. And then I have to make sure that I stay sane in the process.

one thing is for sure, this whole process has allowed me to see a bit more of what kind of person I am. I have learned to be a bit more patient with others. I have learned that I bend over for others sometimes...when I shouldn't bend too much. I have learned that I am stronger and am able to handle a good amount of things on my own. I have learned that I am organized. I have learned that my relationship with Mr. Tortilla Face is awesome. I have also learned to take a step back and have told myself that this is my wedding. The excitement within me is not the same as what is within everyone else. And that is ok. So I do not hold this against anyone. (except for Mr. Tortilla Face... he better be ECSTATIC!!!!!) I just want my closest to be there with me =)

the one thing that is bothering me is the people that are flaking on me. I do not like flakers.
People have known for months when activities will take place, and yet they have made other commitments. People have told me that they want to be included and when I ask if they want to come along to whatever new adventure I have lined up, they already have other stuff planned. so instead of getting upset and getting wrinkles (like a friend of mine said), I simply move on. the organized part inside of me has sent out emails to keep everyone up to date with what is going on. I ask personally if anyone wants to join me. If someone commits or volunteers, then I stand by their word and expect them to be there. I know that sometimes things come up that force you to change your plans, and that is ok. But unless they tell me that the plans have changed, I figure that they will be there. if they flake, then I just move on and go on my adventure by myself. I cannot get mad every time. I cannot pout. I want to enjoy this as much as I can. So I cannot focus too much energy on the flakers. And I don't want to be labeled as a "bridezilla" so I don't make a fuss. BUT I do remember. I do remember who did stick by their word. And that makes a difference in how I view people in my life.

so to those that are flaking on me now please get a calendar. Google offers a great one. Please be like Mr. Tortilla Face and get organized. June and July will probably be busy months for me. And to those that made the commitment to be there ... hint hint: these are the months that you want to make an appearance. I will be ever so grateful. Even if all you are doing is standing around and making me laugh.

enjoy the silence
-Cin