word of the day

frustrated.
I put my heart into everything I do or am involved in. I give it my all. True, at times I slack... I am human. I have my moments. But for the most part, I have true intentions and set out to make the best out of what I do.
Work is also something I take seriously. And I put my all into.
Today I had to take a step back from work. I had to do something to vent. So here I am. Hands shaking in fury. Tears being held in. And frustration pouring out of my pores.
I want to stick up for myself, but I have had to stop myself. My thoughts are everywhere and I would only sound like a ranting fool. I can sound like this at home, but not at work. At work, I am supposed to NOT make excuses as to why I am behind. I am supposed to prioritize the big stuff, but kick out the small stuff. I am supposed to handle 5 things at once, and complete them at the same time. Oh, and lunch... what is that? Working 9-5... who gets that schedule?
Last night... I took these latest worries home with me. So I woke up this morning with a crooked neck, bad back, and a bad taste from the day before. my motivation is here, but its hidden in fear of the emails I might receive today.
With the economy being how it is, all of this worries me. With my boss being how he is, I worry that no one will stick up for me. With my other boss not knowing how it is, I feel like if I am up against a wall. So today, I just want to get through theday. Email fairies - please divert all BAD emails to nobody here.

enjoy the silence
-Cin