when you are young... you live this fantasy life. you come up with an image of how things are supposed to work out. you look at adults and their actions and think "silly grown-ups. I'm going to do it so much better." in your mind you have set up how great you will be as a wife/ husband/ parent. you have convinced yourself that you will know how to multi-task better than anyone in the history of multi-tasking and things will run smoothly.

and then you become one of these silly grown-ups. and life changes.

reality sets in and it does not hold back on how harsh life can sometimes be. sometimes even when you have plans, reality and life like to play around and change your plans. all of those fantasies that you used to have - out the window.
now don't get me wrong... I am not saying that you grow up and your dreams will never come true. I am just saying that reality and fantasy are very different. And for the most part, you cannot mistaken living in both. Unless you live in a padded room of course. But for the most part, your fantasies remain just that - images and dreams that you had as a kid of what life was going to be like.
life forces you to set priorities. It forces you to choose and make goals. It forces you to start your life in a way that does not necessarily play out how you wanted it to. it shoves reality in front of you when you search for a new home and realize that they do not all come with a white picket fence. or when you apply for a new job and realize that it does not automatically make you a millionaire.

this is where I am at right now. actually, I have been here for a while now. I am on stepping stones to a life I imagined when I was younger. and some of these stepping stones are jagged and uncomfortable, but I am pushing through because although I am a silly adult now... inside of me lives that kid that loves to dream and that fantasizes on a different life. the kid in me is what keeps me going and pushes me to want more out of this life, while the adult I have become reminds me that reality forces you to take things one at a time in order to survive life.

Although I think its a great balance to have... I don't ever want that kid to fade. If it's gone - then I fear living life as a robot on day to day routine that many of us already follow and with no dreams to pursue.
So don't let that kid fade. Keep your dreams alive. And push each day. Dream each day.

enjoy the silence
-Cin